Kevin's video

[NVBighorn]

Kevin recently offered to send me a video of his buddy's sheep hunt. I got it today. Only I think there may have been some mistake, either that or a huge misunderstanding.

Ya see, I think Kevin may have accidentally sent the home video he and HoundDawg took on their little New Years Reunion "lion hunt". Imagine my surpise, and that of my whole family, when we sat down to watch a bighorn hunting video and the opening scene shows some hooker on a snowmobile with the letter "G" (as in Gabrielle) tattooed on her, um bossom.

Now, Kevin warned me that the first part of the video was hard for him to sit through, something about sighting in a rifle, but this girl gave a whole new meaning to the concept of target practice and a three shot group. It then went to a scene with an old jack mule the likes of which I haven't seen since my senior trip to Mexico. And there was several minutes of someone face down in the snow, buckass naked that I'm pretty sure was Dawg. Had the Roman numerals I LIX M tattooed on the left cheek. And Gabrielle was using his arse for a bar buoy to keep her Pabst from tipping. Then some black and tan dog got in the act and I think him and Dawg kissed and made up and left as good friends.

Kevin also told me that once you got through the sighting-in the part about the sheep was pretty good. Now this is where we must have miscommunicated. The movie finished off with about 30 minutes of fine footage of "Kevin put the itch in Woolrich" and this old wooly ewe. I finally had to stop watching it when Kevin showed up in a USU Aggies cheerleader outfit chasing that poor sheep yelling "Jus' write the check, Russ, jus' write the check!"

Gotta go see if my wife is still in shock.

NV put the "horn" in Bighorn
(notice I didn't say put the big in bighorn) ;-)

 

[Kevin D]

Indeed I did mistakenly send you the wrong video Bighorn.....you got the edited version!! What you missed was Dawg dancing around the lion tree in a pair of black fish net stockings and a goretex thong while his dog Boy George did the lambata on his leg. Also cut was cb's sudden appearance with a truck full of campfire girls eager to play "post office" and the phone call from Ed in some flea bag motel needing a ride home after Gabrielle's cousin in Shiprock made off with his wallet, pants, and pickup truck.

You also missed the ending, the image of a Dawg passed out behind the steering wheel of his truck idling towards home with only the bumper scraping against the guard rail to hold him on the road.....just another day in the life of the Dawg.

As for myself, I'm sad to report that Gabrielle has left me. She apparently disappointed to find out all the talk about my "big, black dog" and my "oversized mule" was in reference to my 90 lbs Black and Tans and the obese half donkey I have in my pasture. So all I'm left with is a broken heart, a bad hangover, an overdrawn bank account, and a drug resistant disease that could have only originated from some plott guy in New Mexico. What a trip.

Kevin, putting the "in" in the phrase 'line at the free clinic.'

 

[Quail_Runner]

What a way to start the morning

Thank you, Bighorn, for the image, "she was using his arse as a bar bouy... as he lay naked face down in the snow"

And thanks to Kevin for "Dawg dancing around the lion tree in a pair of black fish net stockings and a gortex thong..."

That's great guys... I feel like I need to shower again...

I suggest you burn those tapes immediately before they find their way on the Internet and you start making $ome real money!

 

[HoundDawg]

Ya, the "several minutes of footage of someone face down in the snow" was ME!!!

You sure find out who your friends are on a 3 day hard drinkin' "hunting" binge.

While those rotten black and tan lovin' bastards were using my exposed back end for a beer stand and coffee table, VITAL front end aperatuses were being permanently damaged and frostbitten.

And did I get any sympathy? After I got out of the Goshen hospital, and called to rail on Kevin, he just made some comment like, "Ah, we'll all be better off with your seed out of the gene pool."

Ya sure find out who your friends are after the dogs get turned out. They left me for dead with severe frontal frostbite, stole my illegal prescription pills, AND the $3 dollars I had in my wallet for gas money. They even drank my last Keystone light.

But what crossed the line is when the hikers stumbled upon me, they said I was "face down in the snow with a pine bow sticking out of my butt, and a beer can stuck on it like a Christmas ornament."

I think I need to find some new hunting buddies. This shouldn't have surprised me since last time I went bear hunting to New Mex with Ed, I woke up 4 days later naked and alone in a motel 6 in Baton Rouge. At least they left me my $3 bucks in gas money!!!

-Junkyard Dawg

 

[edhunter]

This has me speachless, I can't stop laughing long enough to form a reply. The mental picture of Dawg face down with a beer in his crack..........................still can't get it out of my mind. How did you ever catch that on film Kevin?

Ed

 

[sixgunn]

Why not produce the video in mass quantities and make some bucks of this at the Dawg's expense. I'm sure he would be up for this as long as he took some of the profit.