Shut Down This Forum, Please!

[Quail_Runner]

I need everyone's help. You see, I am not disciplined enough to stay away from this forum, and now it is beginning to effect my work.

It used to be normal routine log on and read a few posts while going through phone messages and such a couple of times a week then log off. Then I began logging on to read some posts during conference calls.. And now, I can hardly function during the day unless I have read the latest installment from HoundDawg, Ed, Kevin, cb, etc... This is worse than any addiction I have ever heard of...

I come into work, with honest intentions of getting something done, knowing that deadlines are approaching and that I am way behind, but yet I always stop everything to read the Bear, Coyote, Lion Forum on MM.com!!!

Folks, I can't stop myself... So I am turning to you for help - Please quite posting funny stories about mules, following your dogs all day long in the heat behind Elk tracks, picking up 'the ladies' from Gallup, laying face down in the snow passed out drunk, etc....

Please - Shut down this Forum!

Sincerely Yours, and soon to be looking for work,

Quail Runner

ps. Ed, throw together a compilation Video of bears, ?yotes, hanging with the 'Dawg', anything, etc? packaged that SOB, and send the first print my way. I'll send the check right now.

 

[RLH]

quail runner, there is one sure cure for ya. get some hounds. soon you won't have a job to worry about. or a wife or kids or self respect or shame or most of your frontal lobe. these ain't BS stories. it's the truth. when bikers get so low that other bikers don't like to be around em anymore, they get some hounds.

 

[WayCool]

Yea ! What RLH said... plus if you get some hounds then these stories will no longer be FUNNY.... so instead of laughing you'll be crying right along with the rest of us...


Steve Lithgow
http://www.waycoolkennels.com

 

[RLH]

do they have like a houndman rehab or 12 step houndaholics annonymous deal a guy can join up?

 

[NVBighorn]

Quail_runner,

I hear you man. I'm in the same damm boat. Some phunny phuckers here!

NVB

 

[HoundDawg]

QuailRunner,

We don't want to get you in trouble, and we surely don't want to shut down this forum. Please understand that as hound guys, this is probably all most of us have...

You have your family, your job, your friends, your hobbies, your life...

Us hound guys have a 5th of whiskey, a couple dogs barking out behind the double wide, and this forum. So please have mercy on us.

Perhaps you just need to get interested, or addicted to another website. May I suggest a few?

You could always browse Ed's website, www.Ilovebigblackbutts.com

Or maybe Kev's site would interest you: www.trashydogs-r-us.com

How about CB's site? Hell, CB claims to have nailed more women than Wilt Chamberlain, so how could his site not interest you?
www.paternityinsurance-4u.com

Drop on over the the Gray Fox's page: www.GodrunsLeopardCurs.com

Mulehound will entertain you with www.mulesbeerncurs.com

or his buddy PumaGuy runs www.ledgedup-nlovinit.com

Kevin has that other site where he posted all of Little Stevie's credit card numbers, but I forget the address.

Then Ed has his "business website" that he runs from his place of employment, www.gallup-pimps-r-us.com

And if you get bored on any of these, please feel free to drop in and visit my personal site: www.keepingthe6commandments.com.

Good luck. -Dawg

 

[Quail_Runner]

RLH, WayCool, NV, HD ?

Thanks for the advice. I think I have taken care of the problem ? at least I think I have. I called one of the best Internet Filtering companies in the business yesterday (they make NetNanny look like a pro-porn outfit). They agreed to help block my access to this forum, and said they have received quite a few requests as of late. It seems many lonely housewives and desperate employers are turning to them for help. Well, they said the first step was to involve my wife in the ?process of recovery?- that is what they called it. Then there was a conference call with my wife, the companies ?doctor?, the sales rep, a program developer, and me. It was explained that my wife with be the ?gate keeper? with knowledge of the password, the doctor was going to talk with me each day the for the next week, and then once a week after that for 6 months. The programmer was to update my ?custom made? filter each month, so that I couldn't hack in eventually. It seemed to me that these guys were going overboard ? but maybe they knew something I didn't. By the end of the call I felt great.

I first noticed the twitch shortly after I hung up, but really didn't think much of it. A couple of hours later, I tried to get on the site ?just for fun and read some replies?. ACCESS DENIED! I was hurt and offended at first and then laughed. It had worked? good.

Well, I then couldn't concentrate on work, and tried to calm myself down by reading some of the other forums, but after reading all the ?What load do you recommend for my .300 Win Mag?, I started to really feel that D**N Twitch! Breathing became increasingly more difficult, and the sweating began, followed by the cold? oh, the bitter cold.

I couldn't take it anymore; I left work and went straight to the bar to find solace in JB, the Captain, or any other ?friend?. I came home smelling of strong drink, and found my key wouldn't open my house door. I began to kick and scream, then came the tears, followed by the wailing and finally the uncontrollable sobbing. The police arrived as I was on my hands and knees stuck in the doggy-door. As it turns out, it wasn?t my place, and the arresting officer wasn?t in a charitable mood.

To make a long story even longer?

My wife posted bail, and I was out in by 2 am to return home feeling like I had aged 10 years in just a few hours. I waited for my wife to stop yelling and fall asleep before I turned the computer on? ACCESS DENIED!

That's when things got bad. My wife woke when she heard the shotgun blow up the monitor. She was yelling at me, but I can only recall how cold it was? and why can't I stop shaking.

I ran out the door and headed down the street listening to wife yelling and crying in the distance. Still holding my shotgun, I approached a home in an affluent neighborhood. I only asked if they had a computer and Internet access.

Well, as I finish off this note, I can hear the sirens getting closer. Spending some time away from my job and wife will help me get things sorted out.

They are calling for me now. Take care. I think maybe since I have become a drunk, home wrecker, law-breaker, and soon-to-be ?loose? with the inmates, all I need are hound dogs now to complete the package. I am on my way boys, and you're right, ain?t nothin? funny about it!

Got to go now, I hope they have some blankets, I'm freezing?

 

[NVBighorn]

Now that was phunny! You ARE on your way. Wanna buy a dog?

 

[HoundDawg]

Oh, you wanna buy a dog? Perfect. Amigo, have I got a deal for you. I hate to let this dog go, but times have forced me to.

For Sale: Clean, one owner bluetick, low miles, no rust. Purs like a kitten. Can catch a lion as easy in July as in December. Doesn't trash, doesn't growl, doesn't bark around the place, cold trails, runs a hot track hard, trees hard, doesn't climb, will rig and catch bear by himself. Hard feet, loud bawl mouth that's music to your ears. 4 Years old, has seen 200 lions, 140 bears, and 95 bobcats this past year.

$500 dollars Firm!! (I say $500 cuz that's what every guy out there looking for a dog will say he's worth)

Please send cashiers check or money order. If the dog isn't all I said it was and you aren't fully satisfied, please send me an email at [email protected].

PS... Best bear dog in Arizona... uh I mean Utah!! ;-)

 

[WayCool]

I see Dawg has you all hooked up with a good rig dog.... well I'll make you a smokin deal on a good pack dog to go with it...

You know every dog in a pack has its duties .. so you gotta have a pack dog... but he WILL strike a hot track from the truck too !

Dog is fast as the wind.. doesn't me too, will help with a bad old track and stay with a mean one... gritty as all get out and will bite a bear and be on the wood when you get there.. aint' no game come'n outta the tree with this one there ! And he's not ill or trashy at all...

Oh.. he looks a bit like a yard dog.. but I think that's cause he has some cur in him.. which is why he's so expensive.... see its hard to find them cur dogs.. so for you my friend I'll sacrifice and let him go for $500 and believe me he's worth much more...

;-)

Steve Lithgow
http://www.waycoolkennels.com

 

[catmando]

Hey Quail man. I'll be watching for you when you arrive. We have some nice "dudes" here you will want to meet.

You know what they say: "Give me a bunk and a punk and I'll be happy".

Catmando: Puttin' the "in" in institutionalized.