Humor from across the Pond

Jagerdad

Very Active Member
Messages
1,759
My friend and MM'ey member "Gamekeeper" sent me British Humor.
I think we can all relate.

British humor as it used to be:
Absolutely politically incorrect.
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It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloreds from running.
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Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London. Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
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Riots in Birmingham last month caused over 1 million worth of improvements.
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Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who's English. Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
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Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."But, since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works great!?
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Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque. They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

During last night's high winds, an African family were killed by a falling tree. A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know they were living up there".
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Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crime Watch is being shown 5 times a week now.
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I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?
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I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
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An Emergency Call Center worker has been fired in Toronto much to the dismay of her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal. It seems that a caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah."
To which the call center employee replied,
"Remain calm and stay on the line."


Courtesy of an English friend!
 
here here very funny i have not laughed so hard in a long time thanks for posting yes they will get some mileage from me LOL
 

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