Bad stories good lessons

Just another musing from a sentimental old fool. Cherish each moment of life. Make each day count. I say this because we are from so many different walks of life, yet so much the same. Everyone on here I have met in person, has been salt of the earth.

This last week I had two obituaries of close contact show up side by side. I'm not that old either. One had a pulmonary embolism show up out of the blue. The other lost a battle to depression. Point being our number can be called without warning.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Live to live for you and your associates. If you struggle with depression get help. You are cherished by more than you will ever know in this life.

All our days are numbered. Ive found it helpful to find at least one thing to look forward to every day.

....my cousin's 28 year old stepson hung himself in his closet wednesday night......


......why?

Homer, there may never be an answer, at least no good one.


I am sorry for your cousin's loss.

Life's tough!
Make no mistake about that.

I agree, find something to look forward to every single day. Good advice written above.

Zeke

#livelikezac

>....my cousin's 28 year old stepson
>hung himself in his closet
>wednesday night......
>
>
>......why?
>
>
>

I've lost a couple friends to suicide and they leave you with a thousand questions, all of them beginning with why.


#livelikezac

My wife bought me a boat for fathers day. I was not happy. We had days prior just discussed how much of a pain in the ass they are. She bought a used Reinell open bow ski boat. We like to fish...my son always wants to go. She buys a ski boat? I am looking on the positive side and know that the 5 or 6 times we will be able to take the kids out this summer will be good memories made. I'll sell it in October and use the money for a more appropriate boat. It's the thought that counts.

Cancer doesn't discriminate...don't take your good health for granted because it can be gone in a heartbeat. Please go back and read the last line. This time really understand what it says.

Hello all. Have not been on here for a long time. Anyway sorry to hear about the losses above. As someone that deals with depression i have very few answers. Everyones situation is different. A friend from on here just sent me a link to this thread today and suprisingly i just wrote something about my peraonal experience with depression. Below is what i wrote. May help you understand somewhat but again everyone is differwnt my experience is not across the board for all.




Somebody asked the question what is depression or how does it affect you. Well i am no doctor cause i didnt go to college for half my life. However living with it since i could remember around age 10 i know a little about it.
This isnt a pitty letter, its to help those who dont have it understand. I dont have all answers ##### i have very few. This is just an analogy of what its like. Maybe it will help others.

People with depression stand and face the wind. (Wind is negativity/self pain etc...) when it blows we must stand outside in the wind and face it head on for what ever reason. We cannot go inside with rest of you, we cannot hide, cannot even kneel down. If we do or even stumble one less life.

Yes some days are worst than others. Some days its calm while some days its like a category 5 hurricane! Remember people with depression get the privilege of standing outside in that hurricane while rest of you get relief and take cover.

We dont know what the wind will be like, we are not any better than the local weather forecaster. Just an educated guess is all we have.

Even on the calm days knowing the winds will come again and likely soon is scary. Questioning each time is this the one that will take me?

When the wind blows you get to go inside and calmly think about your next action and which path to take (decisions). Meanwhile a person with depression is standing out in the storm facing it head on cant see, scared, alone, no idea which way to the edge of the storm. We just walk hoping it takes us to safety. Sometimes our decisions are right, sometimes it takes us to the center of the storm. ##### there are times we just do circles in it. No idea where we are at or where to go. This storm is just the depression aspect. Dont forget to throw in life's regular obstacles like finances, job security, friends, family, health etc... those are all logs, holes, trip wires etc. ##### might even be the mega lottery winner that has someone purposely laying traps for you hoping you fall. All of these must be navigated around and through with clouded vision or no vision at all!

Often times our actions take us a long ways off lifes course. Not what we wanted its just where we ended up after the storm. Sure we turn around and head back to our goal only to have another storm hit. See how it is difficult now for a individual with depression to get to where they truly want to go?

Many other issues come with it like anxiety. For obvious reasons from my explanation above. Always worrying about the wind and what lies at your feet that is not visible.

In my experience depression makes a person a wonderful actor. We are so used to the pain we learn to cover it up. I cannt do it all the time, yes feelings break through for the world to see at times.
I know people dont like or want to be around negativity non stop. ##### i dont either thus a smile is put on and "fun" is had. Mean while on the inside a storm is likely raging on and a struggle for life is actually occurring. That is why you likely see so many examples of people saying "I dont underatand, he/she was with me all day and they were so happy! We had such a great time!" Why would he/she do this?"

Why you ask? Well lets take a look back at a person walking blind through a storm (making decisions when feeling like #####) after storm clears and we can see again. Our actions are truly visible now to us and everyone else. What comes with that many times is regret, our negative perception, self established embarrassment, pain as to how wrong we were or how close we were to leaving storm only to stumble right back to center.
So you can see how it may s?em like your loved one is just great and everything is fine, meanwhile they are fearing judgement, wishing they would have taken a left instead of a right turn, afraid of what bad choice they will make in next storm etc....

Having these feelings non stop ***** with a person. The constant struggle is very exhausting, survival exhausting to be exact.

Everyone is different everyone has different levels of pain tolerance. Everyone has different struggles that you know nothing about.

Some of you will never experience depression, some may have it for short periods and then there are the lucky who have it their entire life be it a long or short one.

Again this just may help people understand. Not trying to make excuses we are all responsible for our own actions. Just saying, understand that not everyone has 20/20 vision everyday of their life....



Mntman

"Hunting is where you prove yourself"

Will add that i didnt even know what depression was till around 22 or 23 years old. Then i truly didnt admit i had it till like 30 years old.

As a kid i remember thinking all time if i just step in front of this semi pain will be over. Or when fishing if i just wrap that anchor rope around my leg my pain will be done. Even when i attempted suicide i felt this is finally over.

Anyway again i hope my comment helps you understand maybe just a little of what goea on.


Mntman

"Hunting is where you prove yourself"

>My wife bought me a boat
>for fathers day. I was
>not happy. We had days
>prior just discussed how much
>of a pain in the
>ass they are. She bought
>a used Reinell open bow
>ski boat. We like to
>fish...my son always wants to
>go. She buys a ski
>boat? I am looking on
>the positive side and know
>that the 5 or 6
>times we will be able
>to take the kids out
>this summer will be good
>memories made. I'll sell it
>in October and use the
>money for a more appropriate
>boat. It's the thought that
>counts.
>
>Cancer doesn't discriminate...don't take your good
>health for granted because it
>can be gone in a
>heartbeat. Please go back and
>read the last line. This
>time really understand what it
>says.

Sounds Like a Bikini Boat!

And I Can't Wait to see it!









I know so many people in so many places
They make allot of money but they got sad faces

It Ain't Easy being Me!

Mntman .... Please totally ignore Elk. He is always funny except when things Matter. Elk may be afraid of the wonderful words you wrote.

I am SO PROUD OF YOU.

When the Chips are down, I say count upon BIGJOHNT, 2LUMPY, FEDDOC. DW and those others whom have my email address.

It is Totally "OK" to write the name of the person who brought this Post to your attention.

I am/will always be, YOUR DEAREST FRIEND and also to those who read this...and may like a friend such as I have been.

I am an outsider to the core group of MM'y members such as Eel, Homer, 1911, "OVERTON" Et Al....

Yet, what is it to be accepted ... ? I personally have the wind you mentioned. Mine is aging ultra fast, unable to stand long enough to Shower or walk... Oh Boy do I understand the Wind.

The same Negative Wind has me caring for those on this Forum I have never met. I kinda doubt I will ever HUNT again. Yet I hear Happy Songs within my head all the time. Maybe my Happiness will become stronger than the physical body failures I continue to have ... ?

Mntman.... You have so much more to OFFER the Readers. Come back and write more.

Hugs ... Jagerdad

I was sure I had been depressed in the past.....the more I read, the more I'm thinking I was just in a bad mood.....

I guess if you've never suffered from depression it's almost impossible to comprehend how it all works. I certainly don't, but I have empathy for those who suffer with it, and the people who are close to them.

Why and How did I not see it coming are the two big questions.
I moved to Colorado about 30 years ago, hooked up with an engineering design company. I became good friends with a co-worker, he was a few years younger than I but we'd go out and have beers after work and all seemed good. Very talented good looking kid with a pretty girlfriend and good paying job. Bright future, life was his oyster. One night he withdrew $200 out of the ATM machine, bought a couple of packs of smokes and a rope. A CDOT worker found him about 100 yards off an I-25 wayside about a week later. Why and How did I not see it coming, he never said a thing. Depression is a serious thing, confusing to most of us. They say help is available. I think about my lost friend from time to time, not as often as I used to. Just Sad and scary especially with suicide rates for young kids going up, I have a teenage daughter. We do talk alot, but I can tell she gets depressed and confused sometimes.

....expensive rope

Back when I worked on a logging crew I rode to work with a guy who lived not far from me. He drove one week and I drove the next.

One morning I drove to his place about 4am to pick him up and a ambulance and cop cars were there. He had one of those miniature cannons that shoots a 1 pound lead ball. Seems he lit the fuse and stuck his head in front of it. My guess is he died instantly.

Only later did I learn of his battle with depression and anxiety.

DW, BIGJOHNT, 2Lumpy, Et Al, All I can say is THANK YOU to Eel and.... Now as I Type, I can not see Trail.... Name yet "I" say Thank YOU to you also.

This Campfire should be about GUYS saying things upon a HUNT that they could never say to, "ANYONE" Ells.

Mntman, Whom I RESPECT has walked through, SAND BLASTERS in WINDS (Storms) to be the MAN he is Today + SHARE "HIS" Very Secret Words "WITH US".

This means we sure should RESPECT HIM.

Homer ... I need to HUG You. ie: Watch what YOU Text from afar.

Eel, I Sure do Thank You for your words.

Elk, no need to be a Hard Azz & 100% Funny. Written words in/on Campfire should be special, among Close Pals.

We Can ALL LEARN FROM: "MY FRIEND": Mntman

Guys with very few Posts, here is a Time to write.... Not Watch.

Maybe ask Mntman for MY Email.