Watershed's "other" post

For those of you looking for the "Lost Manuscript of Watershed", good news! A breakthrough discovery has led to the unveiling of this epic document today, January 23, 2012. This is, as everyone knows, the lunar new year. Both of his earth-shaking documents were composed in the wee hours of Friday the 13th (this second document at 5:03am PST), it is appropriate that we reveal his lost second post on this earth-shaking holiday, the Lunar New Year. (that should be a day off of work for government employees but isn't for some odd reason)

Well, without further ado, here is the "Lost Manuscript of Watershed" in its original, unaltered form. Appropriately titled by the author, "common sense hunting"

"you can have the latest hunting gadgets but you have smell vision
hearing taste is atfter the kill
everything leaves a track
odor
sign
walk out a track just to where it goes
doednt matter what your hunting
practice walking quite
dont need all the camo and scents
your in there domain there there 24 7
spend more time learning your prey on there turf"

An accurate translation is in the works, but it already appears to be revolutionary to hunting as we know it. Imagine if this document holds the secret to "smell vision" as it suggests! Develop your "hearing taste"!(But not so fast! You only get it atfter the kill) Can you imagine being able to find and follow the tracks that Odor leaves? Many times while hunting on my dad's heels I've certainly crossed the path of the elusive "Odor" and it nearly killed me, but to see and follow its tracks and possibly even kill the vile beast would certainly be a breakthrough. I'm sure that many of you have encountered the near-deadly Odor in your tent, your pickup, while duck hunting in chest waders, while in an airtight mummy bag in -25 weather, and a variety of other odd locations. The extinction of Odor would be a breakthrough indeed. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Translation first and then we can revolutionize the world of hunting with "Common Sense".

i sure hope he comes back to explain his posts

At least he gives us some off-season entertainment. I love it good stuff.

I'll attempt to interpret. Pay attention to your surroundings while hunting, you might start to learn something. There, do you get it?---------------------------------------------------------------------------------support your local guzzlers. OHA life member,lapine oregon

OMG.....LMFAO this guy is unreal!

Bonepicker, I've been sitting at my puter for over a week, hitting the refresh button every 5 minuts of so, awaiting your translation. NOTHING!!! The suspense is killing me.

I almost thought about doing it myself BUT knew I'd screw it up.

Gotta go potti, then back here awaiting for a few more days I guess.

Well Cali, they say you can't rush perfection but it looks like you have anyway. The wait is over!

The translation has been argued about by many hoity toity Watershedian scholars over the last weeks and has caused many broken friendships, broken marriages and broken noses (well, the noses would be broken if the hoity toities knew how to throw a punch) In the end, Cali called me out and I said to heck with those fools, I'll translate it myself, even though I'm a mere human and by no means a true hoity toity. On with the translation! Original Text:

"you can have the latest hunting gadgets but you have smell vision
hearing taste is atfter the kill
everything leaves a track
odor
sign
walk out a track just to where it goes
doednt matter what your hunting
practice walking quite
dont need all the camo and scents
your in there domain there there 24 7
spend more time learning your prey on there turf"

This may appear straightforward in some ways, but if we have learned anything about Watershedian writings its that you must throw reason, logic and punctuation out the window. "you can have the latest hunting gadgets" this line really hits home. This comforts our soul and gives us what our wife never will, FREEDOM! to blow an entire months income on the sweetest new stuff at Cabela's, Sportsman's Wherehouse, or where ever. Watershed has freed us from our usless chains of self control and logic and gives us permission to do what we want and it is great let me tell you (not relating to this at all, but does anyone have any experience with a good divorce layer? What do I do with these papers she gave me? She's really being unreasonable)
Smellvision has been addressed briefly but upon further research, it's not all it's cracked up to be. You'd be shocked at how few people wear deoderant in my town or shower for that matter. I used to be oblivious and safe when I kept my distance, now I just have to see them and it is over. Ugh, those panhandlers in Bend, holy buckets! Nasty, I'll just leave it at that!
Hearingtaste is 10 times worse, it was fine when I heard my wife cooking up the bacon for breakfast in the mornings but since that doesn't happen anymore, it's no good. I was feeding the cows the other morning and suddenly I heard the plop...plop...ploploploploplopsplat! of a fresh cow pie being laid and I nearly perished! Hearingtaste is the worst!
Having addressed that, I now will simply repunctuate (or should I say punctuate) the text and make a few words a little clearer and the meaning will be obvious. As you will see, he offers valuable nuggets of truth for several essential areas of life.


(He begins by freeing our souls)You can have the latest hunting gadgets! (Next, advice for your social life) But be careful as you develop smellvision and your hearingtaste. These X-man type skills will kill you around atfters (this is a newly created contraction referring to the "artsy-fartsy types" the granola, subaru-driving, tree-hugging, deoderant-soap-and-showers-kill-the-environment types).
(now a little lesson in tracking) Everything leaves a track. Odor leaves a track. Sign leaves a track. Walk out a track just to where it goes. Don't follow a track to where it doesn't go. (thoughts on game-manegement) Does don't matter (this comes from another new contraction, "doednt") Kill them all and then we'll have only bucks! What are you hunting, bucks or does? Which would your rather have more of? Duh! Everyone is a fool and I am a super-genius!
(fitness tips)Practice walking. Quite! (this exclamation indicates that Watershed has British roots) (next, a little advice as to the necessities of life)By jove you barmy chaps, you definitely need all the camo and scents. Your wife may not take it well and may kick you out of your domain to sleep with the dog where your smellvision and hearingtaste will definitely torture you 24/7...but I will comfort you. There, there...there.......there. (and a little religious advice as well) Spend more time learning to pray!

Watershed gives a little nugget of truth for everyone. If you aren't moved to become a better man because of these astute writings, there is no hope for you. (and you might be a redneck)

Only 194 days 'til bow season!