predator
Very Active Member
- Messages
- 2,567
LAST EDITED ON Oct-24-05 AT 11:20AM (MST)[p]Listen up Utards (sorry, I couldn't resist, don't beat me up too bad I'm one too), after doing the DH thing on a check point yesterday with the wardens I've finally stopped laughing long enough to pass on a bit of advice, and I'm sure it applies to un-Utards as well.
1-Unloading your rifle as you try desperately to not look as if you are unloading your rifle and slowing/stopping before you reach the checkpoint is about as obvious to all watching as the pee stance is in the middle of a forest. HERE'S YOUR TICKET.
2-Transporting three deer by yourself and telling the warden that the other two guys are still in camp when the tags are clearly in women's names doesn't work real well. HERE'S YOUR TICKET, SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR DEER.
3-Wrapping the entire license around the horns without detaching the tag or notching the tag is about as obvious as you can get. HERE'S YOUR TICKET, SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR DEER.
4-Stopping at the top of a hill before the checkpoint where you are skylined as you throw your beer out the window is entirely waaaaaaay to eye-catching. HERE'S YOUR HANDCUFFS, SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR TRUCK.
5-If you are from a state without elk, make sure you understand what they look like before you shoot one on a deer hunt and then proudly drive it through the checkpoint proclaiming 'isn't that the biggest deer you've ever seen???' He did get points for properly notching and attaching his tag, driving without a loaded rifle in the cab and not drinking while driving. HOPE YOU ARRANGED FOR BAIL.
6-Don't put the dope in the Altoids can, everyone does that, it's the first place they look. Don't further aggravate things by telling the cops that you 'wouldn't do that because you are *trying* to get clean after 30 years of smoking that stuff'. ENJOY YOUR RIDE, WE'LL MAKE SURE THE TOW TRUCK DOESN'T DAMAGE YOUR VEHICLE.
7- If you are a known poacher/known convicted felon, don't even bother to be surprised when you attract more attention that you can handle and go to jail. You can't possess a firearm, moron, why the victim act? ENJOY YOUR STAY, SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR TRUCK.
8-If you tell the guy you killed a deer yesterday, but haven't retrieved it yet, haven't gutted it yet, and hand him the entire license with tag still attached, you can expect an extended conversation. ENJOY YOUR HIKE, HERE'S YOUR TICKET.
9-If you get scared about the loaded rifle/untagged deer/drunk driving, the last thing you should do is turn around and go the other way. You will be chased down. Please stop and take your ticket like a man. If you continue, the end result is definitely jail and losing your truck. Oh, and it's a felony ( see #7).
10- Last but not least, when the warden asks you to show him the breech is empty, don't point the rifle at him. They stopped looking down the barrel years ago, and it really makes them think yer gonna shoot 'em. SORRY ABOUT THE CHOKE MARK ON YOUR THROAT, SIR.
Seriously, I had a good time. Most of the hunters I saw were families out together enjoying a beautiful fall. There were a whole bunch of guys with their gals, dads with their kids, and several generations together. It's good to see that our hunting pastime is still being shared and passed on. Let's keep it that way by not looking like idiots.
Haven't had that much fun since the possessed Exoricist deer decoy operation.....but that's another story.
Pred
1-Unloading your rifle as you try desperately to not look as if you are unloading your rifle and slowing/stopping before you reach the checkpoint is about as obvious to all watching as the pee stance is in the middle of a forest. HERE'S YOUR TICKET.
2-Transporting three deer by yourself and telling the warden that the other two guys are still in camp when the tags are clearly in women's names doesn't work real well. HERE'S YOUR TICKET, SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR DEER.
3-Wrapping the entire license around the horns without detaching the tag or notching the tag is about as obvious as you can get. HERE'S YOUR TICKET, SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR DEER.
4-Stopping at the top of a hill before the checkpoint where you are skylined as you throw your beer out the window is entirely waaaaaaay to eye-catching. HERE'S YOUR HANDCUFFS, SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR TRUCK.
5-If you are from a state without elk, make sure you understand what they look like before you shoot one on a deer hunt and then proudly drive it through the checkpoint proclaiming 'isn't that the biggest deer you've ever seen???' He did get points for properly notching and attaching his tag, driving without a loaded rifle in the cab and not drinking while driving. HOPE YOU ARRANGED FOR BAIL.
6-Don't put the dope in the Altoids can, everyone does that, it's the first place they look. Don't further aggravate things by telling the cops that you 'wouldn't do that because you are *trying* to get clean after 30 years of smoking that stuff'. ENJOY YOUR RIDE, WE'LL MAKE SURE THE TOW TRUCK DOESN'T DAMAGE YOUR VEHICLE.
7- If you are a known poacher/known convicted felon, don't even bother to be surprised when you attract more attention that you can handle and go to jail. You can't possess a firearm, moron, why the victim act? ENJOY YOUR STAY, SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR TRUCK.
8-If you tell the guy you killed a deer yesterday, but haven't retrieved it yet, haven't gutted it yet, and hand him the entire license with tag still attached, you can expect an extended conversation. ENJOY YOUR HIKE, HERE'S YOUR TICKET.
9-If you get scared about the loaded rifle/untagged deer/drunk driving, the last thing you should do is turn around and go the other way. You will be chased down. Please stop and take your ticket like a man. If you continue, the end result is definitely jail and losing your truck. Oh, and it's a felony ( see #7).
10- Last but not least, when the warden asks you to show him the breech is empty, don't point the rifle at him. They stopped looking down the barrel years ago, and it really makes them think yer gonna shoot 'em. SORRY ABOUT THE CHOKE MARK ON YOUR THROAT, SIR.
Seriously, I had a good time. Most of the hunters I saw were families out together enjoying a beautiful fall. There were a whole bunch of guys with their gals, dads with their kids, and several generations together. It's good to see that our hunting pastime is still being shared and passed on. Let's keep it that way by not looking like idiots.
Haven't had that much fun since the possessed Exoricist deer decoy operation.....but that's another story.
Pred
