How Depressing.....

cb · May 5, 2003

I go away for a few weeks and this is what I come back to????? Real hunters with real pictures and real stories????? What the hell happened. I thought all the real people with real stories posted on the Mule Deer forum. Or the Elk forum or Photo forum.

NOT on the Bear & Cougar channel!!!!! I want some bullshit stories and lies from Kevin D, Ed, Kattraxx, Dawg and the boys. If I want REAL stories, well please, not down here. cb

Kevin D · May 5, 2003

Good Hell buddy, 3 months at the Betty Ford Clinic getting you dried out and you come back grumpy? What the hell did they do to you in there?? Take away your beer??? How dare they!!!

Still, I think I liked you better as a slobbering drunk....like the rest of us inbreeds!!

KattTraxx · May 5, 2003

Cle Bo,
The "prize girls" were wondering where you were last Saturday night down here at the SFW banquet in the valley. You sure must have made a lasting impression on them in Ogden. I covered for you though. I told them you had paternity issues somewhere north where they have them funny lights. There are advantages to having dependents with 1/2 native blood. I think they can draw sheep tags easier than their fathers down in the lower 48. We had a sheep mount or two down here, and they sure weren't quite what you were showing. What a georgeous Dall. Maybe someday......

And I have to agree, if we start to get too legitimate, it will surely mean the end to the "Hounding Mystique". Where else can a guy be measured, not my how good his dogs are, or if he can actually hunt, but how well he can avoid the truth in all he says.

Hound guys couldn't tell the truth if it sounded better than the lies. HoundDawg had a Black and Tan once, that figured out how to say a few words. He was a great dog, caught everythiong he was put on, but those few words he learned meant the death of him. A guy can't have a dog going around and telling the "real" story.

Just another reason for his disdain for the breed. KattSkatt

NVBighorn · May 5, 2003

I gotta agree. This place is becoming, well, almost legit. I think I'll go find Russell E. Taylor and stir him up and send him over.

edhunter · May 6, 2003

Hey CB,

I was up in your neighborhood a week ago. What's with the goofy suckers in Utah county and the freeway. Stop and go from Spanish Fork to Widowmakers Point. As soon as I hit Salt Lake County we were back to 70 and flying. Dumb Bastards that can't drive ought to still push a handcart.

It was a whirlwind tour and preacher Ed only delivered one sermon at a nephew's baptism. I'm going to try and get up there this summer and get with you guys for a little fun. I love Ogden, it's the wildest place in Utah but still fairly mild compared to Phoenix.

I pulled a degree out of ASU on a fishing scolarship in the 80s. I was surpised that they offered such a course of study during the mullet age. I mastered in baiting and was headed to my doctorate when my funds ran short. In the end things all worked out, after all could you take Dr. Baiter serious? No way. However Master Baiter is a title only a few have achieved. All males and most females have dabbled but few have endured the stiff studies, whipped them out quickly and climax with a degree.

PS, Dawg and I have already caught three bears this year all at the Cold Stone in Spanish Fork. No pictures available yet but they will follow shortly.

Ed, www.swhounds.com

HoundDawg · May 6, 2003

Well, look what the dog drug in.. 'Ol Bodingus is back home (under house arrest of course) but back online. I was worried when I came to your sentencing cuz I was sure the judge was going to slap you with an order to keep you offline.

When he started calling you a "menace to society" and that stuff I was sure he was referring to your MM posts the past year. Imagine if a judge read the stuff Ed posts out here before his sentencing. Anyhoo, welcome back buddy.

I feel your pain. What the hell happened to this site? LostRiver disappeared so we lost our whipping boy. He was always good for a story or two... if not about hunting at least a tale of Montana Sodomy or something.

I guess it got too legit. Where the hell did everyone go? I know PumaGuy and Mulehound are in the hospital recovering from the latest mule inflicted wounds... but where did the Gray Fox, WalkerDawgs and the other regulars go?

Maybe they went to another site, but hell even I tried that. All I ended up with was reading stuff from some Uintah Basin self proclaimed legend. Even a seasoned MM bullshitter couldn't compete with his tales of running 4 day old tom tracks, starting them on Easter and not getting the lion caught until Mothers Day. And of course his dogs rigging 6 month old bear tracks on the shale rock in the dead of July. Judast, this dude's dogs were so far advanced they wouldn't even start a female lion track or a sow. They could tell the sex just by scent.

So instead I'm working on my new Houndsmen joke book. So far I only have one chapter:

How many houndsmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
None!! Changing lightbulbs is the bartenders job!!

But listen to Ed, me and him done stacked the bears up in the Spanish Fork Coldstone Ice Creamery last week. Our dogs rigged cold, ran hard and ran to catch. Hot fudge dripping off Ed's chin to boot...

Well gotta get back to work on Chapter Two: Why did the houndsman cross the road?

-Dawg

RuttCrazed · May 6, 2003

To get to the other bar in Gallup.
To cross the Mexican border and escape persecution.
To get into the private....uh, I mean best property.
To pick up a road kill racoon for training.
Because he is sure that sheep just winked at him.(Wyoming Only)

Rut

Bluehair · May 6, 2003

LAST EDITED ON May-06-03 AT 05:43PM (MST)[p]LAST EDITED ON May-06-03 AT 05:42?PM (MST)

Y'all hear about *'s daughter?

One evening * was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper.

He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to hospital.

As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out.

The the young feller told * to sit down, then shoved two fingers up his nose and told him to blow hard. When * huffed, puffed, and blew real hard, the peanut flew out.

The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young hero out to the kitchen for something to eat.

Once he was gone the mother turned to *. The mother said, "That's wonderful. Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows up?!"

The * Snorts "From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law!"

*Insert perjorative term/name here.

grayfox · May 7, 2003

The Gray Fox is around, Dawg... but it is hard to type one-handed! Heh! Heh! Actully I can still use my right arm and hand some, but if I use it too much it really gets painful. There is just a pencil lesd width of tendon left holding the shoulder and tricep muscles in place now. If that tendon snapped all of that muscle would immediately be in my elbow, so I am being careful. The doc says 10# maximum with the right now and since I am too much right-handed and have trouble picking my nose with my left, I am very slow. My surgery to put my right shoulder back together will be the 27th. In case you didn't know, I got drug down a steep hill by four dogs and a bear. The dogs latched onto the bear coming out of a tree and I was jerked along behind. Maybe after surgery and I get healed up, I will tell the unabridged story...kind of like the Dawg falling off his runaway horse with one foot still caught in the stirrup!!!
}> So, for now I'll try to be content with just reading about all your escapades and will be around as a sort of spectator....auditator??? or something like that! Never fear, the Fox is here!

"The scenery never changes unless you are the lead dog."

KattTraxx · May 7, 2003

Bluehairs,
I thought the original version was good too. I wondered if your "Editing Conscience" would get the better of you. That is a funny story, and maybe a little too true sometimes. Just one more thing to worry about. KT

KattTraxx · May 7, 2003

The Gray one is winged? It sounds like it's not very fun either. I hope the surgery goes well. They can do some amazing things anymore, sometimes even with "dead guy" spare parts. If a guy has got to get hurt, it might as well be hunting and not at work (or was it?). Good Luck! KattSkatt

HoundDawg · May 7, 2003

Jerked down a hill by a pack of dogs and a bear? Huh?

What the hell is this story you are telling? You called me on the phone 3 weeks ago and told me it happened when you fell off your barstool, refused to let go of the 32 oz mug of frothy beer, and when your hand and mug hung up on the bar railing and you fell, it jerked your shoulder or elbow out of socket.

My guess is because of the three alcohol related convictions you already have on your record, your attorney told you this "bear and dog" story would be better... ??

Well, OK I can go along with this. I like this new story better anyway. Frankly, I was a bit embarrassed when you told me the real story, embarrassed that it happened at 10:30 in the morning!!

Typical cur guy... Mulehound is the same way!! ;-)

-Dawg
"Whiskey for my men, beer for my hounds"

Kevin D · May 7, 2003

Tough luck Grayfox, I hope your surgery goes well. My only consolation is that I know such a mishap would never happen to me.......I'm damn lucky to get one dog to the tree let alone four!! Still, it'd be tough for me only having the use of one hand, being only a hangnail away from celibacy

Get yourself healed up soon!