Let's just Laugh

predator

predator

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Well, here we are again, out of hunting season and into bitching season again. I have a proposal.....let's start a new trend. Let's all share/admit/confess the idiotic but funny things that we've done while hunting the past few years. Perhaps then we can just laugh our way through application season back to hunting season and all remain friends in the process.

I'll start.

I hereby fully admit that YES, I did try to walk into a trailer with a rifle slung on my back. It made a real obvious klunking noise just before it yanked me backwards off my feet. The guide laughed so hard he fell into the firepit. I laughed hard enough to blow snot bubbles.

YOUR TURN, FELLAS.......
 
Took my Dad mule deer hunting in Arizona out on the Kaibab. We drove out early in the morning, well before light, got into a great spot to glass for a big buck. As dawn began to break, I spied a nifty buck and asked my Dad if he wanted to put a stalk on it? "Nope", he says. Ok, I'll keep looking I thought to myself. Found another buck, nice rack, thick body, a true veteran of several years. "Hey Dad, found another nice one. Wanna have a go at this big boy?" "Nah, not yet" Geez, he's being a picky ol' timer!

I kept glassing, spotted a tall, heavy, 4X4. Ok, he's gotta go after this one, I thought. "Dad, nice buck across the basin. He's looking to bed in that oak brush, want to hike over and see if we can get in on him?" "No son, I think I'll pass on that one too. Hey, let's go back to camp and and have a late breakfast." I climbed into the rig and we started to drive back to camp in silence. Finally, I asked my Dad why he was passing on all the opportunities to go after the bucks?

My Dad says, "Well son, I'd actually have loved to tried and put the sneak on anyone of those fine bucks, but in the rush to get out here this morning I forgot to put my boots on and have been sitting here all morning in my slippers."

Friends, it's hell to get old!
 
OMG!! I can't believe he just let you keep on workin' so hard, while he was so comfy in his slippies......

C'mon now, I just KNOW that PC, Kingfish and others have confessions to make.
 
Ok... A couple of years ago, a buddy and I were hunting for bear around Mt. Adams (WA.). We had hiked the wilderness area for a couple of days without seeing one nice enough to poke a hole in. We were a little on the tired side and decided to road hunt our way home. We stopped at this clearcut that we had seen bear in before. It was full of wild strawberries. We got out of the rig and glasses the clearcut top to bottom without seeing a thing. My buddy decides to take a walk down a dip in the clearing just for sh!ts and giggles. I stay at the rig with my spotting scope, glassing a ridge a mile away. Nothing. I decide to walk down to where he is. I get there, we look around for a bit and head back to the rig. We get about 100 yards from the truck and both of us go "well wholly sh!t!". There was a bear standing within 40 yards of the truck. The best part.... both of our rifles are still in the truck! It was a pretty little cinnamon/brown with a blonde streak that ran from its back and across its shoulders. It was only 120-150 lbs, so we werent too dissapointed. We got back to the rig, grabbed our guns and tracked the little booger down to see if it had any friends. We determined that it was alone and decided to let it grow for another year. We still laugh about that bear. I thing that he was going to steal the truck and drive into town for some grub.
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Eric
 
On the ride back in from a unsuccessful deer hunt one afternoon me and my two buddies had to stop for a nature call. On of my friends jokingly says "watch there'll be a deer watching us pee." We all kind of chuckled at the thought and we all piled out of the rig, unzipped and began to take care of business. All of a sudden we heard something bounding down the hill in the timber below the road. The friend who joked about having a deer watch us pee, got this unforgetable look on his face as he turned around, unbuckled and unzipped with his rifle ready....just in time to see a decent buck disappear into the shadows of the timber in a fast approaching evening!!!
 
One year my dad , brother and me were headed for one of our favorite hunting areas before daybreak. We were driving up an old dirt road when my dad says he has to go potty. I pull over and let dad out. He goes behind the truck to do his business. My brother and I are sitting waiting when dad starts pounding on the back of my truck. My brother gets out to see what the heck all the comotion is about. Well to make a long story short my dad was holding on to the bumber to steady himself. I didn't realize I had left the truck in gear and was slowly dragging my father (with pants down) slowly down the road in the squating position...Not only that but I was ever so lightly touching the breaks and lighting him up like a Christmas tree with the break lights...He never let me forget that one...
 
Several years ago we were hunting dove here in AZ. Hunting the ranches and their fields. Anyway, I was with my brothers, one of which was close to 300 lbs at the time. Not very athletic either.

So we come to one of them dirt irrigation canals that had water in it recently and looked like "dry clay" mud but was slippery and wet at the top. So we all jump the ditch and wait for my heavy bro to make his move. He gets as close to the center as he can as to not have to jump so far. He does his jump and lands in the muddy ditch...face first!! It was hilarious! His boots were on the opposite bank stuck in the mud! The suction had held them whilst he lept out of them.

We still laugh about it to this day.

AAAHHHH...the memories.

Chef
"I Love Animals...They're Delicious!"
 
This is almost to dumb to be true, but it really happened. Just a few years ago, my uncle, cousin and myself did our usual grouse hunt and scouting trip to our deer spot in September. We tend to drink a little more then, because we don't have to get up early to hunt. We we're cooking big greasy steaks one night after drinking a few beers and up rolls Sherriff Handle Bar moustache. He's got a freshly detailed Bronco and proceeds to roll out a nasty cigar and smokes it in camp for almost an hour BS'ing with us, really good guy, but could talk the bark off a tree. After a while, Mr. bored to tears says, "let's take a run accross the county and I'll show you this good hunting spot". My cousin and I being idiots took him up on it, so he starts bombing down this winding road, smoking this nasty cigar with two drunk guys in the rig who just ate greasy food. We got about a mile before I said, you better stop, or I'm going to puke on your Bronco. He freaked out and turned around and took us back. I died laughing about it the next day....
 
It seems we all have had funny stuff happen while using the bushes. I've told this one before, but some of you are new, so here ya go:

On my first bowhunt, on the last day I was sitting above a spring. I had to go pee, so I put my bow down and squatted. As I contemplated the complexities of the universe, a nice 3-pt buck stepped up to the spring. I had quite the dilemna about how I was going to zip up, get my bow and shoot. Well, I decided to just get my bow and shoot. So I stood up half naked, shot and missed. The buck just jumped a few feet and stopped again. I shot again and it went over his back, so off he went. Well I put my bow back down and laugh at myself and pull up my pants.

It was about then I saw a bush across the gully from me fall over and laugh hysterically.

Some hunter I am, I never saw that guy come in.....and I was so embarrassed I ran back to my truck crying with him running after me saying, "Wait! Wait!" in between his huge laughs.

AND we had mutual friends, so I still hear about that every single year.
 
I shot an elk a few years back and was able to hang it whole.....three hangin' poles later....another story. But, after taken' the hide off the elk it was time to load it in the back of the rig.

Well....Plan was to pull forward a little bit, then back up to the elk and dropper in. Well....I had done the ol' lean the rifle up against the front tire trick and forgot. Yep, see where I'm goin'?

I pull forward a little....thought I heard something unusual, but figured in was a limb or something. As I backed up hurd an even more unusual sound.....this time I got out to see WTF? I see my Ruger 270, that I've had since I was a kid, broken in Half! Just about cried. Went from Cloud Nine to heartbreak in two seconds. Was going deer hunting the following weekend too.....what an idiot!! :) :)
 
Good post Pred! A few years back me and two buddies went deer hunting. We parked at the end of this old logging road right above the river. The plan was to get up the next morning and wade the river and hunt the other side. After we got all settled down in our sleeping bags, well after dark, another rig with a camper pulled in for the night. So we all figured we better get up early and beat these guys to the good hunting. We were all asleep when a light rain woke us up! "What time is it, I asked". "5:30, we better get going!" someone said. So we hurried up, got dressed and headed for the river. After wading the cold river up above our knees with flashlights, we hiked up the mountain and found a good spot to wait till daylight. We sat there shivering and BSing for some time but it didn't seem like it was getting any lighter. At least the rain had quit! Finally someone asked what time it was. It was 2:15AM!!!!! We waded back across the river, crawled back into our sleeping bags and slept until well after sunrise.

To this day we are not sure how this happened but we sure do laugh about it everytime we get together! The funniest part was, the guys in the camper got up and drove off to hunt another place the next morning!

Steve

Steve
 
A buddy and I were bowhunting elk a few years back in one of our favorite spots. It was almost dark as we headed back to camp. Nature called and my buddy stated he needed to take a dump. We were at the edge of a huge meadow. I walked to the other side of the meadow and waited for him as he wondered off in the trees to find a log to sit on. He came back 10 or so minutes later grabbing at his butt. I could tell something was wrong. He had not properly scouted out the log his squatted on and had sat in pine gum. Needless to say that caused some problems with his harry arse. I have never laughed so hard in my life.
 
I killed a dandy 4x4 this past season. We were just driving around trying to decide where to stop and make an aftrennon hunt. Well, this buck walks out into the sage. I figure, what the heck and take him. Upon returning home my brother-in-law, a friend, and I kind of spiced up the story. It being a long stalk, grueling drag, etc. When my wife picked up the pics she came to me asking, "What's that in the back of the picture?" Oh my God, sitting right there was a Budweiser can. We had each gotten one to celebrate, and I had set it down to gut the buck. BUSTED!!! PC
 
Startin' to feel like a campfire around here. :)

Sixgunn....that's some funny chit man. :) That had to suck!
 
LMAO ALOT !!!Some one hand me a cold 1....A couple years back my buddy and I were in unit 16B bowhunting elk . Well we had a bit above average of the old Seagrams 7 mixed in with a dinner of menudo(intestin or gut) , our stomachs were mixed up like slick 50 . Well we get out of camp aways and my buddy has to drop a load and QUICK! He takes off in a butt cringing hurry , drops his suspenders from his bibs , squats , and his butt explodes , yes I could hear as he couldn't get very far for fear of internal explosion . Well all exits ok I'm thinking , when all of a sudden I hear SON OF A @$TCH! ,Come to find out, he wipes and then when he goes to do the body whip to get his suspenders up to his shoulders(you that wear bibs know the move) , his suspenders come flying up over his shoulders and shower the back of his neck and back with crap . Oh' my ,I laughed so freakin hard , its the funniest sickest thing , but damn it it was funny , heck , I'm laughing now , he'll never live it down...NMHUNTNUTT
 
I had this idiot acquaintance in High School that I went hunting with a couple of times. He was a lonely character and needed a friend so I tried to help him out. Well, we were hunting pheasants down along this creek bottom one day, he is working one side and I am down below him along the creek. On the bluff above is are a couple of small farms, well one of them has some tame geese for their pond. There is a patch of willows separating us so I can't see him but I hear him shooting and when I finally get to where I can see him, he is chasing these geese and just blasting away, trying to ground pound them, well one of the poor things is down but has crossed a barb wire fence, so this idiot goes over the fence but leaves his gun on the other side. He goes to grab the bird, but apparently he didn't wound it too terribly because as he grabs its feet it begins beating its wings, honking and pecking at him. He drops the bird and begins running but trips and runs into the fence but pops the wires through ripping his pants and the bird is still on top of him beating the crap out of him with his wings. Meanwhile he is yelling for help and crying like a baby - it was the most hilarious thing I think I had ever seen. I couldn't stop laughing - the jerk got what he deserved though! I never hunted with him again.
ROY
 
A friend of mine(not me) before 1st light was walking up a ridge going to a turkey strutting area with his wife. He has to gooo, finds a good(?) spot, drops his camo coveralls and does his business. Gets suited up and starts up the hill. He can smell something and thinking to himself, that was a good one. Continues up the hill and can still smell it,and it doesn't go away.
He is telling me this over the phone and I start to laugh thinking he crapped in his coveralls.
But he says NO(others have been known to crap in their waders while duck hunting) says he stopped turned on his flashlight, his wife says "whats that on your face" Turns out he drug(dragged) his coverall sleave in the "stuff" then wiped his face. Luckily there was a creek near by. But his wife did kill a 10" Rio that AM.

Why do most of these stories revolve around bathroom experiences???...LMAO

from the "Heartland of Wyoming"
 
This happened many years ago, but seems like yesterday! I had bought a new scope for my 6mm Remington. The very first scope I ever owned. I was worried about what happens to your scope when it rains. A friend told me if it rains just ignore it. You can see right through any rain drops that get on the lenses.

I was out hunting about 3 weeks later and it really started to pour! My scope was drenched. I thought I better look through it to see if my buddy was telling the truth. I put my rifle up to my shoulder and looked up on the hillside. Right dead center in my scope was this big beautiful 3x3 blacktail buck! I was so shook up I pulled the trigger but the safety was on. By the time I figured it out the buck walked off into the brush never to be seen again.

I've tried doing that hundreds of times since but the buck is not there!

Steve
 
LAST EDITED ON Jan-06-06 AT 08:17PM (MST)[p]On a deer hunt with my Dad and little brother we had a big dinner and went to be early in our tent trailer. Dad was sleeping on the folded down dining table and my brother on the bed just above him. My brother ate something that didn't agree with him and during the night he had to throw-up but didn't have time to get up and out the door and didn't want to get any on his sleeping bag so he turned the direction of Dad and let her fly. Hit poor ol' Dad right in the face, and he was sleeping with his mouth open! I woke up to this kinda gurgling sound followed by a line of expletives a mile long. I couldn't stop laughing.
 
LAST EDITED ON Jan-06-06 AT 11:22PM (MST)[p]Paul Crawford DOESN'T DRINK "ONE BEER". I seen the back of those pickups and what his buddies haul into their rooms at night after a visit to the local store and it was not a single 6-pack. LOL
Good try Paul, by the way where is the picture you promised me of your Buck?

Brian
 
My hunting brother and I enjoyed our first hunt ever together, and collectively shot a real nice 3-pt. I sent him over while I kept an eye on the downed buck. He got over to it and let out a yell, to let me know it was done for, so I started down into the canyon, kinda taking my time figuring he'd have it cleaned and ready to go.

Well, I get over there and here is Darrell with a most perplexed look on his face staring at the buck. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me "nothing, I was just waiting for you so I can see how to properly field dress this thing". Well it was about then that I realized I had absolutely no idea. So we both sat down and pulled up a leg here and there and stared at all the parts trying to remember how our dads did it.

Finally Darrell lights up with an "I forgot!" and starts ripping apart his back. Triumphantly he pulls out a Boy Scout Handbook, flips to page 107 and low and behold there are three pages of diagrams and instructions on how to field dress game.

And there we sat, dressing our buck by the numbers. We then went home and hung it ourselves, got out the hose and man, that buck was the cleanest meat you'd ever seen. We waited for our parents to come home, but eventually fell asleep in the back of the truck. His mom still has the picture she took of the two bloody sleeping humans in the bed of a GMC.
 
This is a great thread. I've got a million stories but one of my favorites was during a bear hunt in northern Idaho. We were hunting out of treestands over baits so I would strap my bow to an empty packframe then ride my dirt bike out to my stand. With the hunt being late in the spring most of the roads were pretty trashed from the winter, runoff, etc. Well one of the roads had a section where three large pines had fallen across the road on an angle. Luckily they were high enough that if you hugged the uphill side of the road you could just duck and go right under them without slowing down (you see where this is going). My favorite stand was down this road so after a few days I was starting to get pretty confident zipping underneath the trees. On the fourth day of the hunt I was on my way back to camp after sitting in my stand until dark. I zipped under the first tree, then the second. As I ducked under the third I instantly stopped and the motorcycle kept on going. I dropped to the ground landing in a cold, muddy puddle as the motorcycle continued down the road another 100 feet or so before finally tipping over. My head had cleared the tree but the top of my pack frame didn't. I couldn't help but laugh. It was great!
 
this was on my elk hunt this year. Mid afternoon the fellas and I were having some lunch and my neighbor that we met was changing his clothes in his wall tent. I decided to put two of my elk decoys a couple hundred yards directly across our camp up in some timber. It took a while for him to notice, but when he did, oh boy what a hoot that was. In blue jeans white t-shirt, and sneakers on, the hunt for the cloth elk began. muleyslr played the other hunter in this sheraid. I'll go this was said muleyslr. so duane took off between the two riggs scraping his broadhead against one of the riggs. his own of course!! ended up being a half hour spot-stalk on these magnificent specimens. finally realizing that they were decoys. the only thing he arrowed was his own truck! OOPS!!
 
Oh man, Clyde, that's a good decoy tale. I had one this year as well, as my best friend had drawn a good antelope tag. We went out together (his wife is mighty tolerant of me) and he put a couple good sneaks on a good buck, but couldn't make things come together. At one point, he pops off 4 rounds at him standing there, but missed every time. So being the best buddy I am, I give him NOTHING but crap allll the way home. Especially how I mentioned to him several times during the pre-season that he ought to actually go shoot his gun with the new grain of ammo he had selected. Well, he didn't, and I let him know about it.

The next weekend he's pissed enough to try it again, so off we go. That dang goat wouldn't let us even stop to look at him, and true to his word, my buddy didn't settle for a smaller one. Well, we'd spent so much time away that we set up my decoy and took his picture behind it as if that was the goat he shot. Now those of you that use Renzo dekes know that they are photographs, so they are quite realistic. Well, the photo looked so real we decided to play it the whole way......

Dave walked into his house with a cooler. When his wife asked him how it went, he told her that he was successful and the goat was in the cooler, would she mind wrapping the meat for him (Dave is quite domesticated, he can't do much more than BBQ and microwave).

So his wife opens up the cooler and screams when she sees the folded up deke....cuz she couldn't figger out how we folded up an antelope whole and shoved it in a cooler.

I have the field pic, but he made me swear I'd never post it.
 
On a back country elk hunt a few years back we got off of our horses for lunch and a bit of a snooze in the sun. After a couple of hours it was time to ride to a new spot for the afternoon hunt. I got on my horse and expected him to walk off. When he didn't I nudged him just a bit with my heel. He turned his head and looked at me with this, "Man are you stupid or what look". It was then I realized that I hadn't untied the lead rope from the tree.

Beanman
 
Thats pretty funny beanman. It reminds me of the movie Lonsome Dove when the irish boy jumped on his mount to make a quick getaway and was spuring and kicking but didn't realize he was still hobbled.

beavis.gif
 
I guess I will have to tell on myself as well...

Back in the early 80s I was on a bear hunt in Red Cedar lake Onterio, The outfitter said that he had a 800lb bear that was practicaly bullet proof and me being a Big Bad Marine I should be the one to show that bear who the biggest and baddest critter was in the north woods...
The idea was for me to hide in a ground blind which was a old cabin that had the last 4 logs still in place on the bottom, and the bait was about 30 yards off to one side and a nice cold 5 acre pond on the other, bear trail between the cabin and the bait... I had to carry in the bait each day when I went in and of course I smelled like bait afterwards so here I am, sitting behind the wall in the cabin, I hear heavy footsteps from behind me, I huncker down so the bear can pass me going to the bait, listening to these grunts and heavy footsteps getting closer....All of a sudden I get pulled backwards and I turn my head and am nose to nose with this DAMN BIG BEAR who has ahold of my pack with me in it....I drop my bow, roll out to the side, jump over the other wall and ran right into the pond..The bear decides to have some fun with me I guess... I try to get out of the lake and he charges over in frount of me and grunts, huffs, and generaly keeps me in the pond for 3 hours until the outfitter shows up to pick me up and dark, has to fire off a couple shots in the air to get the bear to leave....

now that was bad enough, but when I get back to the lodge the owners wife is on the phone with my girlfriend who had called to check in as I was on leave and had to report in daily, and she said "Here he comes now, He's all wet.." the outfitter tells her that the bear kept me in the lake all day.

It was bad enough with the other hunters in the lodge, but it got spread all over Camp Pendleton and I had stuffed bears all over my rack when I got back...

Nate
 
A few years back my hunting group and I were hunting in wyoming. After a 24 hour drive I told my brother that I didn't trust my internal alarm clock to get us up in time, could I borrow his alarm clock. He tossed it to m and I set it for the appropriate time and promptly went to sleep. I woke up to the screaming alarm and shut it off calling "daylight in the swamp" my usual wakeup call for the boys. I proceeded to put my camao paint on my face, got my pack on my shoulder and told the boys" you had better hurry it up the neighbors got a fire going and I can smell breakfast cooking. I then took a leak by the tree next to camp. It was then that I remarked out loud that the moon wasn't suppose to be on that side of the mountain. As I slung my rifle up on my shoulder I asked my brother what the heck time was it anyway? He responded that it was a little after 1:00 and started laughing, followed by the whole camp laughing including the people across the road that were just getting a good drunk on and found yours truly to be new source for amusement. I said a few choice words reset the alarm clock and went back to bed. It went off an hour later, I got up took a leak looked at the moon again went into the tent and promptly threw that alarm clock as far into the woods as I could. I did wake up on time using my internal alarm and have ever since.
Michael
 
I scared myself crapless during the muzzleload deer hunt this year when one morning as I was walking in pretty early, you know when you can't really see but if you sometimes look up a bit THINK you can see? Well, here I am walking up the trail when I THINK I see something black and big standing in the way. In fact, it's snuffling and snorting. Well the more I look, the more I think it is either a moose or a bear. Either one is nothing to mess with, but I had nowhere to go, as either side of the trail is thick and nasty scrub oak. So I squat down on the trail with my 50 cal pointed in the general direction of the thing and listen as it continues to snuffle around. It sounds like a bear, so I'm starting to back up. IT comes towards me, so I back up some more, but it keeps coming, snuffling the whole time. Now I'm convinced that it's a bear and that something I have is real interesting to him.

So I cap my Knight, keep backing up until I think I see a break in the trees where I can rip through should I have to. I point the gun in the direction of the black snuffling thing coming toward me, turn on my Petzl and yell "YAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!".

It was the biggest badger I've ever seen. He froze in place, then let out the nastiest growl you've ever heard and charged me......I screamed like a girl and fell down through the opening in the scrub, breaking branches and crap so badly that I sounded like a freakin' bulldozer. I ended up tangled in some wild raspberry and pretty pissed off at myself.

That damn badger kept me down there until well after light. Everytime I tried to climb back up to the trail, he growled at me.

You ever notice how BIG their claws are???

I think I now have PTBD....Post Traumatic Badger Disorder.

Pred
 
I had a similar thing happen at our huntin hole a couple years back. My cousin and I were up on top of the steeper than $hit mountain, that has no way up it that isn't straight up. On top it's nice, with little wooded gullies, we've got some nice deer up there. Anyway, it's first light and we're already on the top, working on either side of one of the gullies, when we hear all this G D crashing around in the brush below. We keep seeing flashes of black and we both have bear tags, so we're just trying to push it out of there to get a shot, when this big, huge, bastard of an Angus bull comes charging out of there, ... I just sat there and $hit myself...... How in the hell he got up there I have no idea, but he went down the hill like he had wings.
 
In 2004 we were in our usual Idaho honey hole for a week of hunting when on the third day I twisted my knee and gimped back to camp. I made it back to camp around 2:30. My knee was swollen and now I had POUNDING headache. I was the only one back so early so I popped three Advil and decided to take a nap. I'm asleep in the tent with the flap wide open (it's a warm sunny day)and I hear a voice. It's my brother and Barry calling out my name because they see my rifle leaning against the tree outside the tent. I awaken and answer what?. They tell me there is a bear outside the tent!. Yeah right!! I respond. I can tell by their tone that they aren't kidding so I jump up (bad mistake still have headache at 7000 feet) after the initial head rush I head outside to see a bear running away from the "OPEN" flap of the tent. I sream like a girl (got that from pred)and proceed to run after the bear to get a better look. I start to realize I DON'T HAVE MY RIFLE WITH ME!!!. I scream like a girl again!!. I run back and get my video camera and run back to where we last saw the bear. He is just up the hill about 20 yards sitting down looking at us and I am getting all this on video. So now me, Barry and my brother are all standing watching this bear and we realize none of us have our rifles....(picture the three stooges looking at each other) I said calmly as I can "Sombody should go get a gun". To make a long story short we chased him off only to have him and his two buddies come back at three o'clock in the morning to listen to me and four other hunters scream like girls in dark tent running around in our underwear!!!! Great memories.
 
Keith, you got me beat on that one....I'm not having a hard time picturing men running around in their underwear screaming like girls.........

ROFLMAO
 
This is a different type of hunting story. Back in the late 80's my brother was living down in San Jose Del Cabo On the Baja Peninsula In Mexico Living the life of a Surf bum. I went down to visit him for a few weeks one winter and was having an amazing time. One day he asks if I want to go with him to hunt lobster with a Hawaiian sling and snorkels." Heck yes I do". Off we go into the surf(never been snorkeling before) and just having an awesome time when I look out into the deep only to see the biggest shark in the history of the world, and it is headed straight at me. Now I am between my brother and sharkzilla and thinking i need to get to the beach and fast. Well I take off for higher ground at a speed Mark Spitz would be proud of, and get around my brother and then stop to look back. He is still coming and now full panic mode sets in. I am in a bout 8ft. of water now and I need to get to the beach. I finally make it to where I can stand up, (where is a good wave when you need one) and rip my fins off and look back. There is a dark spot in the water just off to my side and back. I try my best Jesus imitaion to get to skinnier water, only to look back and the dark spot is still there. All I can think of is those pictures of killer whales swimming up on to the beach for the seals in the national geographic shows. I finally make it to dry ground and turn around to see how close to death I was, and realize I had been running from my own shadow. Embarrassing yes, but what a relief My brother really enjoyed that There was a shark out there but my brother said it never got within 20 yards of us he never even got out of the water.
 
OK another "potty" incident. My brother and I had left our motel room in Alturas, CA headed to one of the nearby reservoirs to hunt geese. About half way there, it's still dark. I'm driving down this narrow dirt road and my brother announces he needs to take a dump, and he indicates it would be a good idea to stop right now! By the tone of his voice, I believe him, and so stop immediatly. He jumps out before the truck stops and runs behind the truck next to the road. He just gets his pants down when low and behold here comes another rig. By then my brother is committed, if you know what I mean. The rig slows down because I have the road blocked, and then hits his high beams to see what the problem is! I look back just in time to see my brother flip the poor guy off! But then the guy figures it out and kills his lights. I figure I better drive on down and pull over and let the guy by, which I did, but too late.

Hey when you gotta go, you gotta go!

Steve
 
OK Steve, now you did it. You shouldn't have got me started on the "crapper" incidents. This goes back to one of my first years of hunting, before I discovered how important a good roll of TP in your pack is. I usually grab a granola bar and some coffee before going out first thing. So I get to the hunting spot and hike a ways up the hill before first light and my stomach just starts making all this rackett. I had already hiked around a mile in, so no going back. I did some Grizzly-sized business there on the hill, then I realized, $hit, I don't have anything in my pack!!!??? So, I'm running around, drawers around my boots trying to find enough leaves to do the job. Only problem is, all there is are Oregon Grape, Snowberry and NOTHING BIGGER THAN A SILVER DOLLAR for leaves. -You ever wipe your arse with Pine boughs?? I still wince.
 
Ok this is turning in to one CRAPPY post! LOL - Here is another one - though not relate to any of the potty refrences.

When I was 16 or so my Dad and I went elk hunting one day on our horses with my Uncle and his buddy. We got there at about 6AM and saddled up - my uncle and his friend had only been asleep for about 2 hrs and not wanting to miss the hunt they decided to go. Well we rode around in the cold for a few hours and didn't see anything. Around 9:30 my uncle and his buddy are ready to get back to camp and are already setting back in the truck but my dad decides to make one last drive. So we decided that were going to ride around the back side of this hill where we had seen a few cows and a spike a couple of days before and hopefully push them down to my uncle and his buddy who would be waiting at the bottom of the hill on the other side. It's about a mile or so and when we get to the top of the hill we haven't seen anything. There's a break in the trees at the top and we look down to the bottom and see my uncle and his buddy in the truck. They aren't very serious about hunting at this point as they have the radio on and we can see that they are both fast asleep in the warm October sun. Just then, in the trees below us we see a small herd of sheep - about 30 head and my dad looks at me with this grin and says "Give 'em hell!" So we start whooping and hollering and pushing these sheep down the hill through the quakies with my dad yelling "Fred here they come, here they come! Get ready he's a nice SOB!! Here they come!" Over the top of my yelling I all of a sudden hear the horn honk and the radio volume turn up and then down and doors slamming and the sheep are crashing through throug the quakies and oak brush like a herd of elephants and my dad is still yelling "Get him Fred! Get him!" and I am whooping and hollering for all I am worth pushing my horse through the trees. Finally we break out of the trees just in time to see my uncle in a prone position ready to shoot and sheep running all around him. His buddy is leaning over the hood with a dead rest just scanning the herd back and forth like they really were elk! My dad and I were laughing but we were the only ones. I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall in that truck though when we started yelling! We went back to camp and fixed a really big breakfast and let my uncle and his buddy take a long nap.
ROY
 
Might was well stay on the sh*t subject, so here's my contribution... :)

On my first deer hunt that dad let me come on (wasn't any older than 8 or so I would guess), I had to take a dump. There is no logs to sit over, or nothing to lean against while I cop a squat. So I'm trying to squat in a manner so my arse has plenty of clearance from my pants and boots while taking care of business. You all by now know where this is going...sure enough, that first squirrel was a doozy that drops right into my britches! I spend the next who knows how long trying to scoop it out and get somewhat cleaned up so I can get back to camp. I'm surprised my dad continued to let me go with him after that year due to all the crying and hollering I was making due to being so upset.

Hey Pred, I'm familiar with PTBS too... Post Traumatic Bowel Syndrome. :)

I could list a few more, but I'll save'em for another post after letting someone else have a turn. Good posting topic Pred. This board needs more like this. Some of y'all's experiences I can relate to, some not. But it's great to get caught up in the memories, and what's better yet... it's all a part of something we love & enjoy... HUNTING!

EG




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"A man can be hard to find in the mountains, but you're welcome at my fire anytime."
 

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