Ok...which of you was it?

[Bluehair]

The bear hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. From his stories, it was obvious that the man was undoubtedly a good hunter and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what caliber rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other customers, and soon a heated argument was going on. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced, "Springbuck." Then he felt for the bullet hole and declared, "And shot with a .22 caliber rifle." The others could not believe it (he was right) and the argument was even hotter than before. When some started to suggest that he must have peeped, he said that he was prepared to do it again. He would put up all the drinks they had bought before against them buying another round for him. So they blindfolded him again, very thoroughly this time, and they brought another skin. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Kalahari Lion," and fingering the bullet hole, said, "and the rifle was a .30 caliber" and he was right again. Well, this was like throwing fat on the fire, and he had to prove his skills, over and over again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, bombed out of his mind, and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one nasty shiner. So he said to his wife, "Listen I know I was drunk last night, but not too drunk to know that I didn't fight anyone in that bar. So where did I get this black eye?"And his wife replied angrily, "From me, you idiot!" "But what did I do?" he asked. She replied, "You got into bed and put your hand down inside my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and announced in a loud triumphant tone, "Skunk, killed with an axe!"

}>

 

[polarbear]

Hehehehehehe...hehehehehe. My Dad will like that one!
Eric

 

[Bluehair]

Dawg call his boss to tell him he wouldn't be in today. Said "boss, I ain't feelin too good. My head hurts, my stomach aches, my joints hurt, and I just can't do it today."

His boss explained, "Dawg, I really need you today. When I get to feelin that way, I let my wife know how I'm feeling, and explain to her that sex always makes me feel better. Try it, it works."

Couple hours later Dawg calls the boss back and lets him know it worked, and will be in after all. He thanks the boss for his idea and tells him, "BTW boss, you have a nice place."

 

[HoundDawg]

OK, that was classic!!! I hope my pea brain can remember that one long enough to tell my wife tonight...

And I'm flattered that you would tell a story that portrays me as having a job. A gainfully employed hound guy... while clearly a story it is funny!!!

That's gold Jerry, gold!!! -Dawg

 

[Bluehair]

Well Dawg, maybe you can help out with this one. I was over in Moab the other day. Found me a sponsor, and pulled up a stool next to a lady of......well, what appeared to questionable morals. }>

Anyway, she was obviously troubled, so I went to work. ;-) Seems a bunch of hounddoggers came into the bar one evening not to long ago, and she jumped on the opportunity.

She looked them all over......sizing them up so to speak.....and picked out the fella with the biggest feet. He glady obliged, and off they went.

Turns out the experience left her troubled. Seems the fella thought he was really something, and he just wouldn't give up trying to prove the man he thought he was. She finally couldn't take it anymore, and handed him a $100 bill. He glowed with pride and told her she really didn't have to pay him; she was just another of the fortunate who got to experience how good a real man was. She said she broke his heart when she told him the $100 was to buy a pair of boots that fit him.

She's trying to find him so she can apologize.