Personal Hell?

[legacy]

So I let my wife drag me to Ikea again tonight. This is my second trip in the past few weeks. The first trip was pure hell and this trip was no different. If I died and went to hell, I would be spending the eternities at Ikea. Just curious what YOUR personal Hell would be?

 

[cjboz]

Is that where bad mormans are cast into outer darkness??

 

[legacy]

LAST EDITED ON Oct-08-11 AT 09:58PM (MST)[p]>Is that where bad mormans are
>cast into outer darkness??

idk, but if it is, I feel for them! I would surely consider it "outer darkness".

 

[Zigga]

My personal hell would be getting shunned by the mm crowd.

Going shopping with d's wife can be brutal as well but when we're spending d's money, it makes it all seem right.

 

[BuckSnort]

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. Walking around, he runs into the devil.
Devil: Why are you so sad?
Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.
Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Devil: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Diet Tab. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
Devil: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it.
Devil: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our friggin' lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay -- you're already dead.
Guy: Golly!
Devil: I bet you like to gamble, too.
Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it. You like to do drugs?
Guy: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't mean...?
Devil: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of the Titanic. You can do all the drugs you want, and you'll never die -- you're already dead.
Guy: Neat! I never realized hell was such a happenin' place!
Devil: You gay?
Guy: No.
Devil: Oh, you're gonna hate Fridays.

Disclaimer:
The poster does not take any responsibility for any hurt or bad feelings. Reading threads poses inherent risks. The poster would like to remind readers to make sure they have a functional sense of humor before they visit any discussion board.

 

[fireball77]

Lately reading the post on MM

 

[mntman]

never getting to hunt, fish or simply be in the outdoors.



wait.....nope, it would have to be living with my wife for the rest of my life.


Mntman

"Hunting is where you prove yourself"

 

[feddoc]

I must live a sheltered life...I have no idea what ikea is. Beauty salon, bath house, tupperware store?

Compromise, hell! ... If freedom is right and tyranny is wrong, why should those who believe in freedom treat it as if it were a roll of bologna to be bartered a slice at a time?

 

[legacy]

>Devil: You gay?
>Guy: No.
>Devil: Oh, you're gonna hate Fridays.

LMAO!

 

[legacy]

>I must live a sheltered life...I
>have no idea what ikea
>is. Beauty salon, bath
>house, tupperware store?
>
>Compromise, hell! ... If freedom is
>right and tyranny is wrong,
>why should those who believe
>in freedom treat it as
>if it were a roll
>of bologna to be bartered
>a slice at a time?
>

It's a HUGE store that sells furniture, appliances, accessories, etc.. There's 2 levels and when you go in, you start on the upper level and you wind through the entire store. There's not isles like a typical store. It's never-ending! Theres even a daycare where you can check your children in while you shop. It's a Swedish company and most of the stuff isn't mine and my wife's taste, but they sometimes have some okay stuff and pretty good prices. It's usually a zoo there - and I hate crowds!

 

[legacy]

>Lately reading the post on MM
>

I was going to throw that one in too!

 

[Paul_Crawford]

Finding out Budweiser went out of business!!! pc

 

[RELH]

Paul you need to get away from that butt wipe beer and start drinking a better brand of hog wash.

RELH

 

[NVBighorn]

Any time stinkstomper tries to be funny.


[Font][Font color = "green"]Here's my
signature. It's green so no one will think I am
actually saying something related to this post.
[font/]

 

[MuskegMan]

I feel the OP's pain . . .

 

[mtnmayhem]

Working in the daycare center at Ikea.

 

[feddoc]

I had a live in once, met her through a friend. I found out later that this girl liked to forge my name to credit documents, make movies with other guys and so on.

One night we got into an argument because I was using Tide brand soap on my laundry. We were out in the garage and she grabbed a hammer and threatened to crush my skull. I started laughing at her and she told me to 'go to hell'. I replied "I'm already there".

Compromise, hell! ... If freedom is right and tyranny is wrong, why should those who believe in freedom treat it as if it were a roll of bologna to be bartered a slice at a time?

 

[DylanT]

Poor poor you.

I read a study (yes, that's right) where more couples consider divorce after a major IKEA purchase than any other store. Obscure fact but apparently true.

That's why I shop online.

 

[treedagain]

+1 feddoc....thats some funny sh@t....

 

[BuckSnort]

Does Parasite infestation count?

Disclaimer:
The poster does not take any responsibility for any hurt or bad feelings. Reading threads poses inherent risks. The poster would like to remind readers to make sure they have a functional sense of humor before they visit any discussion board.

 

[cbat]

Seen the post and thought you met my exwife.

 

[Roy]

HA HA Snort!! That is spot on.

But I am convinced that the idea behind IKEA is the whole reason my ancestors left Sweden in the firs place. HATE the place. Went once, haven't yet been convinced by my wife to go back. I told her if she gets any furniture from there she has to put it together even.

HOOK 'EM!

 

[dillon]

In a Wal-mart checkout line the day after Thanksgiving trying to buy batteries. I gave up on that trip and put my batteries in someone else cart when I left the store.