Terroristic Mail from the DWR

[pumaguy]

Well, they're at it again, the DWR have sent me and my family another round of those much anticipated hate mail letters about being unsuccessful for obtaining the hair of Yogi's back for a rug. I woke up this morning with a smile on my face looking forward to a beatiful day, only to have my significant other go to the mail and return with the dreaded stack of mail listing Utah's Division of Wildlife Resources as the author behind the letter. With much apprehension I opened mine to the all to familiar phrase "Unsuccessful". The misses opened hers as well and the words eched with mine. I haven't opened the kids yet, but do admit to holding the letter up to the light and can say with certainty, they hold the same message.
I am certain there are laws against this routine harrassment. I know the DWR wants me to give into the pressure of all successful applicants for the infamous Bookcliffs. I vow not to bow to the pressure and move to Utah County, sale my mules, turn my hounds into the local animal shelter and totally destruct my truck into one of those want-a-be cowboy rides of the city. I will not trade my mule for a Arabian-wild horse cross, replace my trusted bluetick with a blue healer and start wearing jingle bells on my spurs. I have witnessed the successful applicants showing up in August with their "bear hunter" attitudes. I have been on the mountain when they are for the first time admitting the only bear they have ever observed was in Hogle Zoo or the train ride at Lagoon. I have been asked by the self proclaimed experts just what way to ride off in search of the black beast.
Having been the victim of the DWR joke for yet another year I wish better luck to those of ya that haven't been to the mail and recieved the hate mail. Those of ya that haven't stepped foot onto the Bookcliffs, but submitted an application because Uncle Eddy told ya to, Congrats!

 

[HoundDawg]

PumaGuy,

I just got the same letter in the mail. Funny thing is it's dated April 3rd, the day of the draw.

The draw is in 4 days, but the rejection letters have already been sent out... Do you realize what this means???

That's premature rejeculation!! I won't stand for it!!!

And PumaGuy... you may seriously consider moving your operation up to Utah county. I have it pretty good here. I have these mountains all to myself all summer and fall. Miles of prime trail just for me and my fat horses.

Ya see, everybody up here is a mule guy now and they spend the summer and fall down in your backyard, taking your camp spot at the end of the road and riding your trails. Every year will bring more and more and I'll think about you when I'm sitting all by myself on the backside of Timp watching a herd of bighorn sheep grazing across the canyon...

And you and Mulehound are trying to figure out where to squeeze your pickup in at the top of Sego. (Between all the Sp. Fork and A.F. mule whisperers)

Good luck with that amigo!! And sorry about not drawing a tag. It's OK. Who needs a tag? What is it really? Just a piece of paper telling you that you can go harvest an animal you have been paying for every April since you were 18. ;-)

-Dawg