What would you do?

[Code4]

I have a friend who approached me last year and asked if I would take him hunting. He ultimately was successful in obtaining a Southern Utah archery deer tag and I told him I would take him hunting with me. Here is the problem - since May I have been bugging him to get out shooting with me so he can get back into it, start fine tuning his equipment and make an ethical shot when the time comes.

Fast forward to August less than a week before the opener and the friend has gone out "practicing" twice - once when we installed a new sight that had more pins; and the second time when we went outdoors to sight-in this new sight. Just this afternoon he asked me what broadheads should he use, please keep in mind this is the first time he has asked me about any equipment recommendations. My response was he should have thought about this months ago when I recommended it.

Next, I have been driving every weekend for the last several weeks scouting areas and setting trail cams in Southern Utah to prepare for the upcoming season. On several occasions I hinted not asked (my fault)that I needed help. I guess he did not key-in with all the time, money and energy spent preparing since he did not come up with me once. Do I really need to ask?

I feel pissed off and disappointed with this person. I told him that he was not prepared to go hunt mentally, physically and/or ethically. I told him I was going alone.

Am I wrong here and just being a hard ass or would you have you taken him anyway?

 

[hornkiller]

Don't feel bad I would be going alone to.
Sounds like if was to break down and take him you would be baby sitting insted of enjoying your hunt. He might think twice next year if he gets a tag.

 

[hornhunter247]

Code4 good for you! He should have been at LEAST practicing and preparing for his hunt. I could be understanding with the scouting but the lack of preparation with his equipment makes it a no deal with me! You made the right call by saying no! Think about how bad you'll kick yourself if he wounded an animal!


I just call em as I see em!

 

[mickeyelk]

His lack of interest means your going to have a rough time with him on the hunt. I did this once and it was awful. Get him motivated or say sorry!!!

 

[gb22]

Over the years, my friends, neighbors and coworkers realized I was successful in the hunting world and often asked to come. They all prepared the same as your friend.

I took them anyway and "couldn't hunt". Then I became more cold-hearted. I would make them take their own vehicles and simply hike where I wanted to go hunt. Several of them went home before the sun came up.

OK.....all that is to say, I've learned to simply say "no" when people ask. I'll only take someone I KNOW really wants to hunt.

You simply got to the same place twenty years younger than I did.....and you didn't lose several hunts.


Within the shadows, go quietly.

 

[Edpre]

I definitely don't disagree with your "no", but if it were me, I would take him along and on about the first morning when he can't keep up with you (which would probably be the FIRST morning) just tell him to get his gps and map out and make his way back to camp. Of course, you'll have to walk him over to the right drainage and tell him to follow the creek to the road. Just make sure he's aware that the first guy back to camp each day cooks dinner. He can cook for you daily and let him stick a sick little forkie - from the sounds of it that'd be a trophy for him.

 

[Roy]

Well I understand where you are coming from CODE4 - you have put a lot of work in while he hasn't. So it's like the ant and the grasshopper story really, so I don't blame you for what you did, but I am differnt I guess.

Becuase I told him I would help, I would still help, do what I can go the extra mile, be a better friend that he is. This may mean that in a certain way yes he is taking advantage of your good will but in the end in my opinion relationships are worth more than events.

So I guess you have to put a value judgement on the cost of your relationship and then you have the answer you are looking for.


UTROY
Proverbs 21:19 (why I hunt!)

 

[completesportsman]

Combine edpre and Roy's posts and you have what I would do.

 

[COLO3D]

Good for you! You obviously did not come to this decision easily. You put a lot of work into this hunt, he did not do a thing to help either you or himself.

 

[never_catch]

Personally...I'd leave his ass home I imagine with your scouting/trail cam efforts you probably have some bucks spotted and a plan going into the hunt so if I were in your shoes I wouldn't let anyone go along that wasn't as prepared as I...he obviously doesn't know the country you're going into and is most likely expecting you to show him exactly where to go and what to do to get on a buck. People can only be helped as much as they're willing to help themselves right?? GO KILL A BIG BUCK!!

~Z~

 

[ChubbyTuna]

I to get upset when my potential hunting buddies are not as dedicated or passionate as myself. All might not be lost though. First off, at least he is showing some interest. Maybe he just need that one trip or day that makes it click for him. I used to hunt twice a year and didn't think much about it the rest of the year. Until about 5 years ago when I had a close encounter with a HUGE buck. Like cover of a magazine size. I missed of course but something changed in me that day. I picked up bowhunting and now do something every day tp prepare for my next hunt, reserch, exercise, practice, something. I wouldn't let him ruin your hunt but maybe find a way for him to have that life changing experience.

 

[Gator]

Kick him to the curb,
A hunting partner shares in the hard work he doesn't not hide from it.


"I have found if you go the extra mile it's Never crowded".

 

[Code4]

I truly want to thank each and everyone one of you for taking the time and responding to my post...I know your time is valuable to you.

For the record I did offer to take him later in the season only if he demonstrated the ability to make an ethical shot. It was my sole fear that he would wound an animal on "my watch" and I had the ability of preventing it from happening. Needless to say when I expressed this to him he was not happy and I don't think he will take me up on my amended offer. His only response to all of this was "I wish I would have known all of this before I bought a tag (non-resident)".

I accept part of the blame for enabling his behavior. During the 2009 waterfowl season he asked me to take him duck hunting. I did and enjoyed his comraderie and his enthusiasm for the activity I love the most. Week after week I provided the decoys, dog, honey holes, calling services and transportation...he brought his own gun and shells. As I look back I pretty much "carried" him for the entire season...why would he expect any less now?

Live, learn and move on. Thanks again for your thoughts and I hope each and everyone of you have a successful and safe hunting season.

 

[mntman]

Live and learn. Before I take anyone out hunting anymore, I must get to know them very well. I first take them on a couple test runs ice fishing and if they don't complain on those little 1 mile walks, they make it to the next level and so on.

Once I feel they are in good shape and willing to share in costs, I test them with supposedly secret fishing spots and if they keep them, then I may take them hunting. If their style of hunting matches mine (getting miles away from the road).


Mntman

"Hunting is where you prove yourself"

 

[NotNew]

I am in the kick to the curb camp.
If you take him all your hard work will be wasted and it will become a babysitting experience.

 

[EROCK1313]

I agree with MntMan about the testing phase.

You can usually tell when a person can keep their side of the "Hunting Partner Code" by the efforts they put during other excursions and in how they voice their opinions of the challenges ahead like steep terrain, lack of sleep, packing out much more than they came in with, etc. I have taken a few people with me and it only took one trip to FULLY UNDERSTAND what I meant by "this is going to be a HARD HUNT and it is going to be STEEEEEP!" None lasted more than a day.

Needless to say, I usually go with the only 2 people I know I can trust when it comes down to the real grit - My Dad and Myself!

On the flip side as was stated above, sometimes it just takes a SPECTACULAR MOMENT to open someone's eyes wider and really get the taste for what we are all so passionate about! When you take someone who is relatively new to the sport out, you gotta kind of think about it like how you would get a kid interested. You have to make an experience they will remember and try to give them more success than yourself so they get a taste of why it is so exciting. I had a friend like that with fishing - Always wanted to go, but always complained. After taking him a few times and him watching me pull in some nice Browns, I told him he was on his own and could choose any hole he wanted and I would only help if absolutely needed. I put him on a sweet hole and after he landed a NICE brown himself, he was hooked for Life! I honestly didn't think this friend would last through the season and sometimes questioned his "Keep What I Catch" mentallity, but over the years he has made an honset effort to learn and has since learned the "CPR" (Catch Photo Release) and only keeps what he will eat that night. He has also included me on some BIG Fishing trips when I might not of been able to foot the bill due to circumstances otherwise.

One thing I have figured out through all this, is generosity all comes back to you Full Circle. When you become more generous and help someone out and go out of your way a little more to help someone out around the hunting/fishing excursions, when you may not feel entirely comfortable with taking them or helping them; but that is when the "Game Gods" seem to smile down on you a little more and a bit more LUCK gets thrown your way towards the opportunity of success.

That being said, I hope I have done enough good deeds to get Big 'Ol Muley/Elk in less than 4 days! Good Luck All!

?-ERock-> ?

 

[fishfurlife]

I am with Roy on this one. If I told the guy I would take him then I would bite the bullet and take him.

 

[mywifeishotterthentiffany]

Another vote with Roy.



"Let's keep things in perspective.I mean for Peet's sake there are kids in Africa that don't even hunt....hello" Jimmy Big Time

 

[patience]

ChubbyTuna, what a handle! HA!

 

[Deerlove]

Leave him home, if your not going to bring anything to the table and contibute do your own thing.

 

[nezzy]

LAST EDITED ON Aug-19-10 AT 02:50PM (MST)[p]Just like most fair weather people in our lives, no time, no effort no hunting! I hate when people know you have put in the time and effort, and they call you a couple day's before the season, and want to jump on the band wagon! Leave their $ss home. My 2 cents

 

[losthuntr]

Your first mistake was telling him you would help the next one was expecting him to do anything at all to prepare. I'd take him and just enjoy the time in camp together, then when you get the one your after you'll atleast have someone to pack your gear back to camp while you pack out your animal