canyonwell
Active Member
- Messages
- 351
The noise... the smell!
>
>This is a story about a couple who had been happily
>married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the
>husband's of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
>
>
>The noise would wake his wife and the smell would
>make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
>
>Every morning she would plead with him to stop
>ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
>it and that it was perfectly natural.
>
>She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned
>that one day he would blow his guts out.
>
>The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
>
>Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing
>the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound
>asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck
>gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to
>her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her
>husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
>back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey
>guts into his shorts.
>
>Some time later she heard her husband waken with
>his trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the
>sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could
>hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in
>her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty
>good.
>
>About twenty minutes later, her husband came
>downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She
>bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
>
>He said, "Honey, you were right." All these years
>you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
>
> "What do you mean?" asked his wife.
>
>"Well, you always told me that one day I would end
>up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
>
>But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers,
>I think I got most of them back in.
>
>This is a story about a couple who had been happily
>married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the
>husband's of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
>
>
>The noise would wake his wife and the smell would
>make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
>
>Every morning she would plead with him to stop
>ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
>it and that it was perfectly natural.
>
>She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned
>that one day he would blow his guts out.
>
>The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
>
>Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing
>the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound
>asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck
>gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to
>her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her
>husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
>back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey
>guts into his shorts.
>
>Some time later she heard her husband waken with
>his trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the
>sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could
>hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in
>her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty
>good.
>
>About twenty minutes later, her husband came
>downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She
>bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
>
>He said, "Honey, you were right." All these years
>you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
>
> "What do you mean?" asked his wife.
>
>"Well, you always told me that one day I would end
>up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
>
>But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers,
>I think I got most of them back in.
