Runnoft
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Heaviest Element Discovered
February 15,
2010 -
Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has now
identified with certainty the heaviest
element known to science.
The new element, Pelosium (PL), has
one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving
it an atomic mass of
312.
These 312 particles are held together
by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles
called peons.
Pelosium is inert, and has no charge
and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can
be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a
reaction that would normally take less than a
second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2
years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a portion of
the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
exchange places.
Pelosium mass will increase over
time, since each reorganization will promote many morons to become
isodopes.
This characteristic of moron
promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Pelosium
becomes Senatorium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Pelosium since it has half
as many peons but twice as many
morons.
February 15,
2010 -
Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has now
identified with certainty the heaviest
element known to science.
The new element, Pelosium (PL), has
one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving
it an atomic mass of
312.
These 312 particles are held together
by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles
called peons.
Pelosium is inert, and has no charge
and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can
be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a
reaction that would normally take less than a
second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2
years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a portion of
the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
exchange places.
Pelosium mass will increase over
time, since each reorganization will promote many morons to become
isodopes.
This characteristic of moron
promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Pelosium
becomes Senatorium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Pelosium since it has half
as many peons but twice as many
morons.