Little Bow Hunter

huntingjlc

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Little Bow Hunter

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbich.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would

probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Let's face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of Pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. Pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.

Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck...OH #####! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of Pyrodex and into the can.



Oh #$%#!!!.



When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.



The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.



There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice

I said "was". That son-of-a-##### got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback:

ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMNIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!



His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring Him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
 
I started not to read this. Its to long for my attention span. But it is the funnies story I've read on the internets in a while.
 
LMAO!!! Sounds like a play from the AyA handbook. It is a wonder that 10 year old boys aren't on the endangered species list. Makes me thankful for two things. One, crimes committed as a child aren't generally held against you as an adult. Two, there is a statute of limitations on most others.
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LMAO, that was definately worth the read... I'm sure some of us can relate to the story...

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Disclaimer:
The poster does not take any responsibility for any hurt or bad feelings. Reading threads poses inherent risks. The poster would like to remind readers to make sure they have a functional sense of humor before they visit any discussion board.
 
LAST EDITED ON Apr-14-11 AT 06:36PM (MST)[p]We all must bow to the new MM master jlc. We are not worthy. Great story kid.

Slick

"The Road goes on forever & the Party never Ends"
 
"2 stroke arrow.."........ LMFAO


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Disclaimer:
The poster does not take any responsibility for any hurt or bad feelings. Reading threads poses inherent risks. The poster would like to remind readers to make sure they have a functional sense of humor before they visit any discussion board.
 
LAST EDITED ON Apr-14-11 AT 08:31PM (MST)[p]that was awsome!

whats funny is i can relate a little. my "10 yr old brain" had an idea to take the long fuse from the middle of a pack of blackcat firecrackers, bury it in the pyrodex, tape the lid tight, light it and run!

broke the window to my mom and dads bedroom from the concussion, and i swear that was the hardest the old leather belt ever swung!
great read
 
Man, does that ever bring back some memories of my own childhood. I'd be in jail for a long time if I pulled some of the innocent fun stuff now that we did back then.
 
I laughed so damn hard that tears came to my eyes. Yeah! it brought back memories on stunts I and friends pulled. We were just smarter, or more lucky, and never got caught by Dad or we would be dead also.

RELH
 
GOOD STUFF!!!! Reminds me of my run in with a 1/4 can of ether, beer, and a campfire!!!! Lets just say we were stomping out hot embers in the sage brush for a couple hundred yard radius!!
 
That's good stuff right there!!!!LOL!


Government doesn't fix anything and has spent trillions proving it!!!
Let's face it...After Monday and Tuesday, even the calender says WTF!
 
That is a classic......I did send a barbecue grill to the moon with a pound of black-powder,ducted taped lid and a cannon fuse one time...had quite a few calls of a UFO...re-entry was a little risky..... it landed on a fellow camper's travel trailer...forgot the parachute for landing back on earth..
 
Oh, that is good stuff.

Reminds me of when we used to take an aluminum arrow and pack it full of black powder, cap it off with a shotgun primer, tape a bb to the end of the primer and shoot it into rocks and other objects. Our project wasn't nearly as dangerous or stupid, but then again we were like 14 or 15.

Thanks for the laugh and good memories.
 
You threw in the 185 ATC and BLAMMO the flash backs began. Thanks for sharing the tale.


"Courage is being scared to death but saddling
up anyway."
 
That reminds me of a time what a kid did with a of a Ballpeen hammer, a bunch of .22 shells and a rock.
Then the time I caught my son pouring Black powder down ant holes and lighting it on fire. It a wonder most of us made by that age.

"I have found if you go the extra mile it's Never crowded".
 

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