Miricle whip/frenches mustard mix is the necter of the gods.
Mayo will work if there's no MW.
Ketchup is fer fried egg samitches. Only. 'Cept fer turkey samitches. 'An the occasional french fry. NEVER NEVER NEVER put it on buggers or dogs!!! Unless yer under 10 years old.
Eskimo took his snowmachine in fer repair.
While he was waiting, he decided to eat his lunch.
Mechanic comes walking out 'an sez "looks like ya blew a seal!"
Eskimo sez as he wipes his mouth off "naw, that's just mayo from my samitch"