ur blonde stories?

[stinkystomper]

i was just beating my head against the wall about the ignorance im surrounded with and was wanting to hear everyone elses blonde stories so i know im not alone.

heres one of my many......
i took the wife to the lumber store 2 weeks ago to buy ladders to hang lights with. we got a very knowledgable clerk and friend of the family to help us find a ladder. i told him i was going 40 feet up n needed a large ladder. he immediately took us to the larger ladders. i picked out a nice big aluminum one and a plastic extension ladder. i told my wife to grap the very long aluminum ladder and i would take the plastic heavier ladder. she picked up the ladder, felt of it and put it down. she said it was too heavy. i was trying to convince her it wasnt when all of the sudden she read the tag on the front and said you jerk this ladder is definitely to heavy. it says right here its a 300lb max load ladder. she said theres no way i can carry 300 lbs. i just stared at the guy helping us and just shook my head in disbelief. i never said a word.

then about 5 minutes ago i was talking with my son about math and careers. he couldnt get the right answer and was always just a few numbers off the correct number. he said im close enough. i told him if he wanted to be an engineer he had to be accurate not close. i said its like hunting. if ur an engineer u hunt with a sniper rifle and shoot dead on everytime. on the other hand if ur the guy thats doing the manual labor u hunt with hand grenades cuz close will get the job done. my sons honest to god response was wow dead ur friends hunt with hand grenades? can i come with you guys next time?

what do u say to stuff like this especially when its an every day occurence? lol

they are good for my daily laugh
though.

anyone else have any good stories?

 

[Aaron84]

 

[buckshot]

My wife not blond but she has her moments.

We were on Vancouver Island cursing down a cost highway. Lots of pine trees and a view of the ocean. We were just out for a drive taking in the view. Then she asks us all. So how far above sea level do you think we are? I was like WTF are you kidding me. We laughed for a half hour over that. Still comes up occasionally

buckshot

 

[SureShot]

Based on the spelling and grammar in this thread so far, I wouldn't be too fast to cast any stones at your partners regarding intelligence...

 

[B_BOP_A_LU_LU]

buckshot!

I'm telling you it's the Pine Trees!

One of the Weirdest/funniest looking things I ever seen was Pine Trees growing at nearly Sea level!

Around here you get below about 5000' you venture out of most of the Pines!



God is Great!
Life is Good!
And People are Crazy!

I love not acting my age,
Damn I love my NASCAR race,
And Hell yes I love my Truck!
And a good BBQ!
I am Medicine And I am Poison!

 

[tayhot]

When I was in high school I worked at a local mechanics shop as a gerneral tech fixing minor repairs, changing oil, etc. One day a blonde gal came in and said that while she was driving her engine blew up and all the motor oil from the explosion sprayed all over her windshield. I was like wow, that sounds pretty cool. She took me to her car and there was obviously oil all over her windshield and hood of her car. Got the keys from her and drove the car into one of the bays. Popped the hood and to my surprise there was no oil anywhere to be found inside the engine compartment. After about 5 minutes of trying to figure out was wrong it hit me. The lady had filled up her windshield wiper resivoir with motor oil. As she was driving she needed her windshield cleaned so she turned on her wipers. How she didnt crash into anything is a miracle because you couldnt see through the oil smudged windshield. We cleaned her windshield and "educated" her on where all the fluids should go. We laughed so hard that day.

 

[msy]

I had a friend once who's blinker went out on her car. We told her she was probably out of blinker fluid and to go get more at an auto parts store. She tried and came back furious.

 

[HorseCreek]

Apple didn't fall far from that tree! As for your wife... Its not a blond thing, its a woman thing.
Traditional only >>>------->

 

[feddoc]

I had a nurse friend once who asked me about car stuff. No problem, I took a look at her car, told her a few things that I thought needed done. She asked where a good place to get her tires rotated, so, I told her just to go back to the same dealership where she got the thing.

Then I told her to make sure the guys, when they rotated the tires, to make sure to rotate the air. Huh, she says?? I said, yea, the air needs to be refreshed every so often or it will cause oxidation of the rubber and her tires will rot.

She did exactly that.


Compromise, hell! ... If freedom is right and tyranny is wrong, why should those who believe in freedom treat it as if it were a roll of bologna to be bartered a slice at a time?

 

[sisqhunter]

A little long but pretty funny

 

[D13er]

....had one tell me she didn't swallow because she was worried about getting pregnant...





JB

 

[sageadvice]

While having the time of my life at the U of A, one of my lady friends was a huge busted little Blond gal whose Daddy owned a bunch of a Railroad Co back East. She said that her summer job was with the Playboy Club in Chicago, i believed her. She was a sexy beast and a looker!!

After We shot a couple racks at the pool hall under the student union one day, some of the other guys on the football team had made notice of some of her most obvious assets. So, Before practice later that afternoon they kidded me about her and wondered if i could get them involved in a private like kinda "party." Not one to spoil my team mates fun, i said i'd ask her...and so next time i saw her, i did.

She said, "i'd have to be drunk to do something like that"

HuH? I never did look at her again in the same light!

Joey

 

[Aaron84]

So Joey did she do the private party?

 

[sageadvice]

Aaron, I'd say no but i know fer fact that not with me involved.

That gal was really something but those were different days!!. We was parked one night up on a dead end road that went up in the hills off Speedway. I was leaning back in the drivers seat with my eyes closed and she was, she was keeping herself busy. The officer that had parked his car right in front of mine was already out of his car and halfway to mine when i opened my eyes and noticed his blinding headlights. She came up from my lap about the time he stuck his head in the passenger window saying something like, "is everything going alright in here?"
She up's and smiles at him natural as can be and says, "things were going just fine until you showed up!" He left us be!

Another time she snuck me into her fancy Sorority House and up to her room one night when my honest intentions were to just drop her off. She had a roommate, told me that she didn't mind if i didn't mind. I guess i didn't!

Joey

 

[HorseCreek]

>Aaron, I'd say no but i
>know fer fact that not
>with me involved.
>
>That gal was really something but
>those were different days!!. We
>was parked one night up
>on a dead end road
>that went up in the
>hills off Speedway. I was
>leaning back in the drivers
>seat with my eyes closed
>and she was, she was
>keeping herself busy. The officer
>that had parked his car
>right in front of mine
>was already out of his
>car and halfway to mine
>when i opened my eyes
>and noticed his blinding headlights.
>She came up from my
>lap about the time he
>stuck his head in the
>passenger window saying something like,
>"is everything going alright in
>here?"
>She up's and smiles at him
>natural as can be and
>says, "things were going just
>fine until you showed up!"
>He left us be!
>
>Another time she snuck me into
>her fancy Sorority House and
>up to her room one
>night when my honest intentions
>were to just drop her
>off. She had a roommate,
>told me that she didn't
>mind if i didn't mind.
>I guess i didn't!
>
>
>Joey

I don't smoke, but I need one after that story!

Traditional only >>>------->

 

[D13er]

JB