LAST EDITED ON Sep-27-07 AT 00:53AM (MST)[p]I had a front row seat to idiocy today, I am yet again convinced that I do indeed live in Utardia. I really would have liked to have addressed this with the four spazzes that I shared a hill with today, but I just didn't feel comfortable getting out of the foxhole I was forced to dig. I really think I have some good tips for these four idiots, but I'm quite sure they don't know how to read, so they won't be to this site; and with all the lead flying around, I couldn't give them instruction (piece of my mind) in person, so I'll just vent to you guys.
Just in case they have a life-skills tutor that reads this site to them:
Tips for the Northern UT "Spazzy 4"
1- Maybe you were stoned when your dad was attempting to teach you to hunt, you cannot outrun a deer going downhill, let alone uphill. If by some freak occurance you happen to ever actually kill a deer, take note of the size of the lungs as you are field dressing it (I'm sure the lungs will be intact, as you will gut-shoot it), we are not equiped to compete with deer in a footrace. Your going to need to use your brain instead of your speed.
2- If you show up to your hunting area and notice another hunter is already half way up the hill, you can:
A- double-time it, swing wide around and comeback right in front of them so that you crest the ridge first. Wasn't that nice when you got to the top and couldn't kill a thing because you were all sucking wind, I could hear you panting even over the top of your 6 shots from 4 guns that yielded no deer. HAHA
or B- maybe come and talk to the other hunter when it looks like you are going to hunt the same area. If your deadset on being the first one in your family to kill a forkhorn, the other hunter may take pity on you and yield to you.
3- Spread out a little! Do you need to hold hands? If you guys get more than 10 feet away from each other, you'll be able to spook more game.
4- If I ever screw up my rig, running over your crappy-ass barricade that you've put on a public road to keep people off of public ground, because it cant been seen (1/4" steel cable, seriously???)......you don't want none of that.
A guy on a wheeler could seriously get hurt (uh, dead) in this shituation, you could be "criminally negligent", ask your PO what that means.
5- Honestly, go to the range. Muzzleloaders are expensive to shoot. You guys could have shared a hooker with the $ you wasted on the hunt today........
I feel better now.....
Just in case they have a life-skills tutor that reads this site to them:
Tips for the Northern UT "Spazzy 4"
1- Maybe you were stoned when your dad was attempting to teach you to hunt, you cannot outrun a deer going downhill, let alone uphill. If by some freak occurance you happen to ever actually kill a deer, take note of the size of the lungs as you are field dressing it (I'm sure the lungs will be intact, as you will gut-shoot it), we are not equiped to compete with deer in a footrace. Your going to need to use your brain instead of your speed.
2- If you show up to your hunting area and notice another hunter is already half way up the hill, you can:
A- double-time it, swing wide around and comeback right in front of them so that you crest the ridge first. Wasn't that nice when you got to the top and couldn't kill a thing because you were all sucking wind, I could hear you panting even over the top of your 6 shots from 4 guns that yielded no deer. HAHA
or B- maybe come and talk to the other hunter when it looks like you are going to hunt the same area. If your deadset on being the first one in your family to kill a forkhorn, the other hunter may take pity on you and yield to you.
3- Spread out a little! Do you need to hold hands? If you guys get more than 10 feet away from each other, you'll be able to spook more game.
4- If I ever screw up my rig, running over your crappy-ass barricade that you've put on a public road to keep people off of public ground, because it cant been seen (1/4" steel cable, seriously???)......you don't want none of that.
A guy on a wheeler could seriously get hurt (uh, dead) in this shituation, you could be "criminally negligent", ask your PO what that means.
5- Honestly, go to the range. Muzzleloaders are expensive to shoot. You guys could have shared a hooker with the $ you wasted on the hunt today........
I feel better now.....
