Preacher Ed and the Powerstroke

[HoundDawg]

With spring at our doorsteps and the bear hunt just around the corner, my thoughts turn to past spring bear hunts and riding around with Ed in his rusted out old Chevy. I recall with fondness the first time I mentioned the rust bucket, ?Nice huntin? truck Ed.? ?The Lord gave me this truck,? Ed replied.

It seems some years back ?ol Ed joined up with one of them Mail order preacher deals. Ed paid ?em his money and took their course to become a mail order preacher. Now most folks just do that as a tax shelter but Ed really believed his calling came from on High and set out to save the planet from its iniquities. But first he'd need himself a vehicle to spread the good word.

So he headed into Gallup with the Lord guiding him. He picked up a 2 day old newspaper in an old caf? and opened to the want ads. He closed his eyes and let his finger fall to the paper, the Lord guiding the finger as it fell. The first attempt landed squarely in his coffee, but the second time it landed on an ad ?Truck for Sale?.

He wrote the number down and in no time and tracked it down. There it sat, at the back corner of ?Shorty?s Used Cars?. As he stood there admiring the rusted out ?72 Chevy ? ton, a salesman in a yellowish white dress shirt approached him, ?Would you like to take her for a drive amigo?? Ed laid his hands on the hood of the truck and proclaimed, ?I hereby claim this pickup truck in the name of our Lord God.? The salesman adjusted his clip on tie a bit and said, ?Well son, I can't argue with that. Let's go sign some papers and I'll get you the keys.?

As we rode along the dusty roads with his Plott and 6 month old redtick up on his plywood rig box, I could see how proud he was of that truck the Lord had provided him. I guess I was thinking about the same thing as Kevin. He?d been slumped over in a drunken sleep on account of that little tango he had with a bottle of Old Crow after breakfast, but I guess had woke up in time to hear the story. Kevin blurted out, ?Good hell Ed, why couldn't the Lord have guided you to a new Powerstroke instead of this old rust bucket piece of junk??

I guess me and Kevin just don't understand how the Lord works in mysterious ways. But I'm hoping if my call ever comes down from on High, that the Big Man will set me up with a new Powerstroke and fancy aluminum dog box instead of a ?72 Chev.

But as spring approaches, once again I look forward to precious hunting time with my buddy Ed and his three sons, Ed Jr. (He named all his boys Ed Jr.) I suppose I'll do what I always do, bring some food, a sleeping bag and plenty of beer for Stan, (named after his pappy's favorite latino guitar player Stantana) and just pray that the Lord provides a dog that will catch a bear.

That's the story of Preacher Ed and the Powerstroke as best I recall. -Dawg

 

[Kevin D]

Truly an inspirational story HoundDawg, the tears are streaming down my cheeks. I haven't cried this hard since that damn plott dog of Ed's got loose and knocked over the last jug of sacramental wine in bear camp last year. :'( :'( :'(

May I now lead us all in prayer;

Dear god,
provide us with plenty of bear to chase away our blues.
Make the races all easy and the camp ho's that way too.
Tempt not the dogs with coyotes or deer,
just a bear camp of good fortune, tobbacco, and beer.
And please dear god if you find it in your heart,
in the morning let Ed's old Chevy crank over and start.
And if in the end a Powerstroke's not in the cards,
make it a Duramax or a Cummins, they'll pull just as hard!
Amen.

 

[Mulehound]

Lordy God I feel like Iv'e been struck by a bolt of lightning, the dog has released repressed memories.

I remember the two ton stock truck owned by Cv's Dad, it was a early sixties model with a large flatbed and stock rack. It had a hole rusted through the right rear corner about two foot wide by two foot long. Hunt preparations were as follows. Pool money for a half tank of gas, seventy dollars extortion money for the local bar bum so he would buy two underage bucketass kids five cases of beer. Throw two mules, and hounds in the back of stock truck, if this was done while sober we covered the hole,if drunk we left it uncovered and called it cliff training for the mules.

Two bucketass kids Head east from Green River grinding gears, drinking beer, old boom box on front seat with Waylon and Hank blaring away. Start up Sego canyon reach the top, by the time we arrive at the top we have made some decisions, first we need a recording contract, we noticed that our singing abilities increased in proportion to the amont of alcohol we drank.

Second the indians were not harvesting an appropriate number of spring bear and cougar and we were going to assist them. I step out at the gate, get out my pass key, hook it to the lock and step back ten feet, whip the key a couple times,open gate drive through, lock gate behind us. Proceed till stuck in snowbank, pass out recover by dawn. Hunt Res for weekend, dig truck out go home.

We did finally get an old two horse trailer later on, it was pretty much the same routine, except when we got to the top of the canyon on our first excursion we didn't have any mules, damn gates had not been properly closed I think it had something to do with alcohol poisoning. We figured between his old man and mine we was going to die!!. So we throwed out the hay, and proceeded to drink the weekend allotment of alcohol that night,passed out and awoke with frost bite.


The next morning I remember us both expecting to be arrested for animal cruelty for mules falling out on the highway and getting killed, We both swore off drinking and repented saying if God could just help us out of this one last mess we would be drunken bucketass kids no more.

They say God watches over fools, maybee thats why we found the mules down the canyon just two miles from the highway just standing by the road grazing. They gave us that you dumb a## look when we went to catch them. We deemed this as a sign from on high that we had taken on repentance a little early and decided we should save it for when we really needed it.

Mulehound.

 

[edhunter]

Once again the Dawg busts 'ol Eds balls. I'm sure if I'd a wanted a Powerstroke instead of a rust bucket the means would have been provided.

On thing I have aginst the big, fancy rigs is all their owners do if flant them on the asphalt. Don't never see them boy's up where the rust bucket travels. So keep them fancy rigs down in town for the chicks to appreciate, the women we bring to camp are as happy riding in the back as the hounds are.

I got the pack going Dawg. Only 3 trash races a week now. By mid-May you'll see some butt whipping going on down here. First bear sighting was 2 weeks ago in the snow. We'll be catching soon amigo.

Ed

 

[KattTraxx]

Vintage pre-bear season narratives. Isn't it still hard to believe we can expose ourselves to such thought provoking, emotionally charged and hearfelt words for FREE on the internet? People pay big money and earn Pulitzers for lesser works than these. Keep'em comin boyzzzzzzzzzzz

Somehow I don't think the bears are any more worried than they were last fall. Utah draw results are out pretty quick. Then the real hype will begin.

KattScatt