real men don't....

[kidneystone]

As I go around observing other "men" in a variety of settings I have started a list.

Real men don't..........

...pay someone else to mow their lawn.
...wear open toed sandals.
...refer to their clothes as "outfits".
...cross their legs like a girl (you know how I mean).
...say anything is "cute".
...wear an ear-ring or get anything pierced.
...have a belly that sticks out further than their chest.

any others...

 

[alwayzbhuntin]

LAST EDITED ON Apr-19-03 AT 07:54PM (MST)[p]or have a belly that sticks out further than their.......... just kidding.

 

[kingfish]

Always, Thats called a "dicky-do"!!! Your belly sticks out farther then your "Dicky-do" and just about all men get there eventually...lol!!. Keith 46.

 

[alwayzbhuntin]

or Dunlop Disease....where your belly "Dunlopped" over your belt.

 

[kidneystone]

This post is slowly veering off course....but there's little I can do to stop it.

 

[alwayzbhuntin]

okay, how about real men don't road hunt? Or how about
A real man can carry a dozen donuts plus one in each hand....
Real men don't shave their legs,chest,etc. like you see some of those "guys"do.

 

[oldoregon]

Real men dont:
Hunt Whitetails
Hunt from a treestand
catch less than thier limit of fish

 

[bobcatbess]

REAL MEN DON'T LET REAL FRIENDS DRIVE CHEVYS!!!WHOOPS,I'M JUST KIDDING,SOME WILL SAY I SHOULD OF SAID DODGES,OR IS IT FORDS???

OH ENOUGH OF MY OWN BULLSHIT!!!I'M NOT WANTING TO SEE THIS THREAD AGAIN!!!

HAPPY EASTER EVERYBODY!!!IS THAT ANY BETTER???

THE ONLY REAL bobcat!!!

 

[BuckSnort]

Real men don't........

have a 50,000 dollar yuppymobile for a hunting rig.

hunt high fenced ranches to have braggin rights on a "trophy" animal.

drink imported beer.

have limp handshakes.

 

[kidneystone]

I think I need to retract the belly past the chest one. I won't be a man much longer.

 

[kidneystone]

...get queasy while gutting a deer.
...window shop.
...ever say "I like to cook".
...become vegetarians.
...drive a two wheel drive pickup.

 

[BuckSnort]

Hey kidney,

I gotta argue the "like to cook" one. I don't mind cooking, I just hate washing the damn dishes

 

[oldoregon]

shut up dude, i drive a 2wd chevey s-10 hat is lifted with 33's on it, and i can tell you for a fact that it can get around better than your pickup.

 

[bobcatbess]

TRY NOT TO SCARE ME LIKE THAT WITH YOUR BIG BAD S-10 2 WHEEL DRIVE chevy!!!

I GUESS YOU WILL HAVE TO HOOK UP WITH PREDATOR,CAUSE WHERE SHE LIKES TO HUNT THERE AINT NO BAD 2 WHEEL DRIVE S-10 CHEVY'S GOING IN,MAYBE SHE'LL LET YOU RIDE IN HER RIG,NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I WAS ASKING ABOUT THE EQUIPMENT???

IF SHE'S GOT A DODGE OR FORD,YOUR SCREWED ALREADY,THAT WOULDN'T DO YOUR FEELERS ANYGOOD HAVING TO RIDE IN AN OFF BREED TRUCK THAT IS MORE THAN LIKELY A 4X4!!!

THE TRUCK I DRIVE CAME STOCK WITH 33'S,WHEN YOU WANT TRY IT THROUGH THE MUD PIT LET ME KNOW!!!

THE ONLY bobcat THAT DRIVES EVERY BRAND,THE ONLY EXCEPTION IS THEY ARE ALL 4X4'S!!!

 

[kidneystone]

...don't call other men dude (unless they live in Jamaica).
...don't make wild and crazy claims about impossible abilities of 2WD's.

 

[BCBOY]

Real men could care less about what other men drive. Real men don't argue about which truck is best. Real men don't care. LOL!

 

[BuckSnort]

LOL, good one Kidney!

 

[polarbear]

....pee sitting down
....cry when they are drunk
....hunt on an a.t.v.
....say excuse me after they fart
....hunt with dogs (i'll get sh!i for that)
....shoot sitting ducks
....fish shoulder to shoulder
....wear head to toe flo. orange while road hunting
....listen to rap or hip hop
....hunt at a park boundary
....leave hunting camp after daylight
....whistle show tunes while riding a pack horse
....say yes dear
....is it ok to hunting today dear
....head back to camp at 9:00 in the morning
....let their wife go to Mexico while you are hunting in Alaska
....take head or gut shots
....give up on a blood trail after 20 minues
....use potpurri

 

[BeanMan]

You mean ducks can fly!? Had no idea, really.

BeanMan

 

[kidneystone]

good. good. I think I'll compile a top ten list. So, you others give me one or two. kingfish, your witty, give me a couple.

 

[ridgetop]

Real men don't:

abuse their kids.

forget their wedding vows.

speak loudly and carry a little stick.

waffle on making a decision and hesitate to act on it when they are right, or apologize for doing so afterwards.

blame others for stuff thats their own d*mn fault.

constantly have a mouth bigger than their brain.

expect somebody else to do their job for them.

 

[bowhuntinmaniac]

let their wives tell them they can't have their mounts in the living room.

 

[huntinhard]

REAL MEN DO KNEEL BEFORE GOD!!

 

[polarbear]

....Poach!
....Buy feminine hygene products
....blame the republicans
....ignore their kids
....shoot does or spikes
....sit in a tree stand for more than 5 hours a day
....smoke crack
....abuse their wife and or kids
....let their buddies forget their mistakes
....eat granola
....sit on the stinkin' couch
....sleep until noon (unless you just worked a graveyard shift)
....have to lie about the size of his penis
....get off of his horse to pee
....own or hunt with llamas
....ever leave the house without a pocket knife
....wear thong or speedo undies
....watch Oprah, Rosie(glad that bit** is gone), Martha Stewart or soaps
....wash his rig more than 4 times a year
....Drink any Miller Beer product (disgruntled employee)
....get mad when your buddy farts on your head

 

[Roy]

...Need 4WD but have it anyway to pull out the idiots that think they are GOD in jacked up 2WD and/or 4WD SUV's that don't belong off the road in the first place! (Explorers are OK unless they are Eddie Bauer and above - Broncos are totally acceptable along with some of the Chevy and/or Dodge products - except for Durangos - not meant for off road use!)
...Care how big their ass looks in Wranglers.
...Try to understand women (that's why we DO just say "Yes dear" and then do what we want anyway)
...Wear spiked heels.
...Watch the Superbowl for the commercials
...Look to the right or left in the urinal.
...Need to use gas to light the fire but use it to keep the women quiet.
...overhunt there honey hole and never reveal it's exact location.
...Care how much they weigh or lie about their age.
...Wear a toupee!
...Shoot first and identify species, sex and legality later.
...kill every animal they see and wait to use their tag until they have filled every one else's.

 

[kidneystone]

...golf.
...have a ponytail (sorry Ted).
...party hunt.

 

[polarbear]

....have comb overs
....have a bald top and a pony tail in the back
....bathe
....drive mini vans
....drive around in their jacked up 4x with an a.t.v. in the back
....eat sushi
....surf porn sites
....think that Bill Jordan is a true hunter
....hunt blacktails with a .338 or .375 h&h
....let their dogs chase deer
....allow dogs in the house
....drive with a dog on their lap
....sit on their ass
....ignore a friend in need
....drive lezbarus
....like Siegfried and Roy
....forget to call their mom on mothers day
....like the Clintons
....like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton
....tatoo their privates
....shave anything but their face
....actually think that Kight and Hale know what theyre are doing(on their tv show)
....subscribe to the Texas Trophy Hunter or Buckmasters

 

[five_point_buck]

...litter
...drink wine coolers
...or hard lemonade
...worry about how much chili or suasage they eat for dinner before the opener.
...hike down the center of a canyon, anytime.
...put a 20x scope on their deer rifle
...take running shots (unless practiced)
...or shots over 300 yards without practice
...hit women or their kids
...drink hot cocoa in deer camp
...or mocha's or latte's anytime
...watch reality shows not on the outdoor channel.
...drive drunk, ever.
...protest the war, or slam our president
...leave a bachelor party before midnight
...tresspass
...poach
...leave your wingman position now matter how ugly the "friend" may be.
...sell out your pals for a chick
...lie to your pals for a chick
...skip a trip anywhere cause your tired
...or because she is pissed



Take er easy
five_point_buck *

 

[Hoosierbuck]

...carry dull knives
..."borrow" other guys' guns or wives
...have long fingernails
...##### about the 'skeeters
...forget to treat other guys' gear better than they do their own
...have to prove themselves to anyone else
...start fights, but can finish one with one good shot

HB

 

[glockmister]

Drive a ford
Drive a dodge
drive a car un less it has over 300 hp
or drive a ricer
use the closed face sissy spining reels
hunt white tails with anything bigger than a 3006

 

[polarbear]

LAST EDITED ON Apr-30-03 AT 10:25PM (MST)[p]....shoot plastic guns
....give a crap what other people drive
....wear there ball cap on backwards
....believe that they will someday win the lotto and buy everything
....have tatoos around their biceps
....shoot an sks, ak or any other cheap ass para military .223
....go hunting without properly sighting in
....shoot over 1 1/2" groups at 200 yds
....take a 400 yd. shot at a running animal
....complain about the cold
....get drunk every weekend and look to start a fight
....watch Jerry Springer
....think that a 20 lb salmon is huge
....knock up some gal before being married to her
....think that the world owes them something
....like hippies
....hide their identity

 

[Bugler]

HHHAHAHAAHA lmao, some of u guys are so full of crap. Real men jus hunt.

 

[polarbear]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMEEEEEENNNNNNN!

 

[bigbullhunter]

umm i think i am a new victim of dunlop disease (damn bud light) i guess its time to switch brands.

 

[hunterman67]

LIE - about anything, anytime.
should've posted this one first, it would have been a shorter article.









MICHAEL S. WAITE C/O WAITE RANCH, TUCSON-MARANA, AZ.

 

[udderdelite]

polarbear: I "knocked up" my wife before we were married. Got a problem with it?

 

[polarbear]

udderdelite
Yep.

 

[udderdelite]

polarbear- Happily married, two wonderful boys, own my own business. Sound like a "Real Mans" life to me. Wheres the problem?

 

[polarbear]

udderdelite
Yaaaaaaaaawwwnnnnn.....
What moron would have a problem with someone that supposedly has a good, happy life? That has nothing to do with your first confrontational question to me. Your original question was if I had a problem with the fact that you knocked up your wife before you were married. I believe that everyone should have a set of life guideilines that are to be followed to the letter, no ifs ands or buts. One of mine is not to go around recklessly spawning offspring.
The fact that you have a good family, job and so on does not make you a "real man", it just makes you a man. There are no so called "real men". There is no man alive that could stand up to all of the qualifications that us blowhards on this site have put forward. This forum is all in jest and a bunch of b.s. doled out for entertainment. View it as just that and dont get caught up in making it personal.
Eric

 

[kidneystone]

...bicker like women.

 

[udderdelite]

polarbear- I guess I should claify that we were 2 weeks from our wedding date when we found she was with child, so it wasnt like a one night stand that an accident happened. I didnt (or dont) -quote- "go around recklessly spawning offspring".

Living life to the letter sounds like "a perfect world" which there is none, but I do think that guidelines should be in place for every person, but cant be surprised by lifes curveballs when they are thrown. If following life to the letter I would have went AWOL when my Mom died when I was 20, which threw a BIG curveball into my life. So the old saying comes into play Things dont always go as planned.


Ben

 

[kidneystone]

...don't blame "life" when they can't keep it in their pants.

 

[polarbear]

.... pretend to someone or something that they are not!

 

[kidneystone]

Do we need to put udderlite and polarbear into a death match?

 

[udderdelite]

yyyyyyiiiiiippppppeeeeee!

and by the way its udderDElite.

 

[polarbear]

That would be swwwwweeeeeeeeeettt! Let' get ready to rrrrruuuuuuummmmmmmbbbbbbllllleeeeee!!!! :7

 

[pinyon]

Smokeybear,
Udderdelight is a big ol boy and his farts stink reeal bad so
I would check my self if I were you. He is liable to **** a nart outta you. All in good fun.Oh by the way I "knocked up" my wife
before we wed too. Sorry as not to live up to your ethics . What if your son or daughter did the same. Heap them into the
same category? Reality check dude . Ohh that wouldnt happen in your stock now would it.?
Check yourself before you rumble.

 

[polarbear]

pinyon
I'm a big ol' (ifn' you call 37 old) farm boy who's strong as an ox and twice as stinky. I also have farts that'd peel the pain off of and old 8n. As far as my girls, your right, it could happen. All I can do is to teach a set of good values and behaviors that could help keep them from getting in a bad situation. Those guideline that I refer to are personal guidelines. It would be rediculous to expect everyone else to live by them. It would be too much like organized religion (I'll catch hell for that one!) All that I can do is offer them to my kids, it is up to them if they follow them or not.
By the way, I dont pick fights, I end em'.
Eric

 

[Cooter]

argue about who's tougher, who can drink more, who's tweener is bigger, who's truck is faster, beat their wives, hit their kids, kick their dogs, pretend to be someone that they never will be, cuss in front of their kids, use herbal scented pit spray, cheat on their wives, steal or poach