story

justr_86 · Jun 24, 2012

I need a laugh, and we haven't done one of these for a while. Add on to the story!

One day the guy on the buffalo, also known a bess. Was riding around through the redwood Forest looking for tree and turtle poacher eel.

LESGO54 · Jun 24, 2012

i stumbled upon a well used trail. after following it for about 1 hour he came upon a

kawboy · Jun 24, 2012

Clubhouse full of funny looking people with weird names. He found the one who looked like their leader and......

I'll tell you who it was . . . it was that D@MN Sasquatch!

Paul_Crawford · Jun 24, 2012

...his name was Kilowatt. Kilo was underneath a sun lamp naked. He was talking to a dude on the phone named D13er, and I overheard Kilo say.....

one_dryboot · Jun 24, 2012

LAST EDITED ON Jun-24-12 AT 01:04PM (MST)[p]
Once Overton gets here with the new recruits 1911, Wiz and Z, the real fun begins. But he forgot to pack enough horny goat weed for the weekend so...

feddoc · Jun 24, 2012

He got back on his ATV and rode off trail looking for some more stuff. But, when he rounded the curve he...

D13er · Jun 24, 2012

....he jammed his manstick into a thorn bush....
JB

D13er · Jun 24, 2012

.....but it was so limp and short no damage occured...

JB

D13er · Jun 24, 2012

LAST EDITED ON Jun-24-12 AT 01:41PM (MST)[p]...when out of the bush darts eelgrass with a tourniquet and 2 sponge bob bandaides....

JB

nickman · Jun 24, 2012

and says, "you better let me rub this oil on that or it will become festered".....

justr_86 · Jun 24, 2012

And roofies...

overton · Jun 24, 2012

LAST EDITED ON Jun-24-12 AT 02:14PM (MST)[p]And then wetboob showed up and inexplicably he wasn't dressed in drag.

one_dryboot · Jun 24, 2012

LAST EDITED ON Jun-24-12 AT 02:17PM (MST)[p]Just hearing the word "Roofies" gets Never_catch all worked up. often times he will "roofie" himself at the chubhouse, just hoping to get taken advantage of by overton and clan. Then the next morning he...

justr_86 · Jun 24, 2012

So never_catch and wet boot, stumbled of into the trees with roofies in hand and ran into stinkystomper/humbledhunter.....

ShowThemToMe · Jun 24, 2012

And remember!

stinky & humble are a complete different couple of beings!

[font color=red size=redsize=18"face"]SHOW THEM TO ME![/font]
If You Love Your Country,SHOW THEM TO ME!

I've got Wild Honey Tree's and Crazy Little Weeds growin around my Shack!
These Dusty Roads ain't streets of gold but I'm happy right where I'm at!
All these Perty little Western Belles are a Country Boys Dream!
They ain't got Wings or MM Halo's but they sure look good to me!

D13er · Jun 24, 2012

end of story

JB

justr_86 · Jun 24, 2012

Lmao!

kawboy · Jun 24, 2012

It can't end there, what about f dude, he hasn't left anybody at a gas station yet

I'll tell you who it was . . . it was that D@MN Sasquatch!

eelgrass · Jun 24, 2012

That's when the REAL Eel showed up.

"JFP!!!!!! An invasion of Dickweed Utards to Kali. Lord have mercy! There ain't no turtle poachin'goin' on here. It's just me and Roy having a little fun. 1911, put your badge up and grab a beer for cryin' out loud. Tomorrow morning we'll head to the beach for a little clamming and maybe I'll show you my 2500 "tomato" plants I got growin' up on the mountain. After that we'll......

theox · Jun 24, 2012

harvest some of the "tomato plants" and make some tomato brownies to give to piper, and sixpack so they can continue to make sense outta the Obama campaign.

overton · Jun 24, 2012

then I had to go to the hospital because I split my guts after reading theox's post

CAforkedhorn · Jun 24, 2012

At the hospital, Overton became disgusted when he specifically requests a male nurse but none are on duty so after realizing he really isn't hurt that bad he heads out to The Blue Oyster bar and...

overton · Jun 24, 2012

sees that forkietard is already there

theox · Jun 25, 2012

overton realizes what the blue oyster is and is a little freaked out, but he is thirsty and decides to order a drink anyway. While he turned his head to check the place out(thinkin heck this place is not too bad) a roofie was slipped into his drink by STTM. STTM silently slipped back to his dark corner and waited for the drugs to take their effect ......

never_catch · Jun 25, 2012

LAST EDITED ON Jun-26-12 AT 00:39AM (MST)[p]Once the roofies kicked in STTM slowly began making his way over to Ransom's limp body passed out on the floor...suddenly wetboob popped out of nowhere and grabbed Ransom by the arm, dragging him to the darkest of ALL corners in the room. STTM was sitting at the bar pounding shots in disappointment but after only 5 minutes wetboob made his way over to the bar, grabbing his junk, clearly in pain. He said "Bessy, I know the real reason why Ransom was in the hospital earlier, dude had a damn gerbal stuck up his ass and that sumbitch bit the tip of my dickweed clean off!!"

~Z~

justr_86 · Jun 26, 2012

Then wisz sharted......

overton · Jun 26, 2012

and then the Blue Oyster became Z's and wetboob's favorite bar

eelgrass · Jun 26, 2012

About that time rutnbuck showed up. He'd never been to Kali before. He was driving a Beemer with a surf board tied on top. He was dressed in Louie Vitton sunglasses, a tie dyed tank top, plaid shorts, black dress socks with Nike Air Jordon tennis shoes. Then he said: "Like, wassup homies? I heard like this is like where the action is."

Eel and Ransom were laughing so hard they.......

ShowThemToMe · Jun 26, 2012

Splained to Rut that this T'wasn't' where the action was and STTM decided to give em a ride to where the action really was!

T'wasn't long & Eel was White as an Albino Tortise when he looked over at the Speedometer & he couldn't see the needle anywhere!

What worried Eel the most was he knew we'd be in SLC before long & couldn't handle thinking about the need for speed through the City & the Mormon 500 on the way up to the ClubHouse!

As we entered the Spaghetti Bowl at a nice rate of Speed,Eel Screams,there's a UHP Cop,it might be 1911,I said:let's hope it's 1911 and........................

[font color=red size=redsize=18"face"]SHOW THEM TO ME![/font]
If You Love Your Country,SHOW THEM TO ME!

I've got Wild Honey Tree's and Crazy Little Weeds growin around my Shack!
These Dusty Roads ain't streets of gold but I'm happy right where I'm at!
All these Perty little Western Belles are a Country Boys Dream!
They ain't got Wings or MM Halo's but they sure look good to me!

eelgrass · Jun 26, 2012

that's when Eel got car sick. He puked all over Bobcat's programmer box and shorted the thing out, and they slowly coasted to a stop. "Thank you Jesus" was all he could say.

It's OK officer. Can you call us a tow truck please? That's when Eel jumped out and hitched a ride with Reddog heading back west.

When they got back to Kali....

theox · Jun 26, 2012

they decided to see what the thumping noise they were hearing the whole trip in the trunk was, they pop the trunk and outpops.....

CAforkedhorn · Jun 26, 2012

Feleno's wife who was pissed off that her plick of a husband left her at the gas station and she had to jump in the trunk with a couple of weirdos. Seeing that Feleno's wife was so mad Eel and Reddog decided to leave her ass there too when...

overton · Jun 26, 2012

when zigger came running down the street in drag which was of no surprise to anyone at all

ShowThemToMe · Jun 26, 2012

The first words out of Ziggy's mouth was:

I'm looking for CUPSY!

And that's when..................

[font color=red size=redsize=18"face"]SHOW THEM TO ME![/font]
If You Love Your Country,SHOW THEM TO ME!

I've got Wild Honey Tree's and Crazy Little Weeds growin around my Shack!
These Dusty Roads ain't streets of gold but I'm happy right where I'm at!
All these Perty little Western Belles are a Country Boys Dream!
They ain't got Wings or MM Halo's but they sure look good to me!

eelgrass · Jun 26, 2012

Eel said "CUPSY, good idea." So they all jumped into rut's Beemer and headed for Bakersfield. On the way they stopped to pick up Kilo and RELH. They heard Cupsy has a cement pond. When they pulled into Bakersfield it was 109 degrees. Forkie said "It's so hot.......

overton · Jun 26, 2012

that forkie didn't even want to gut shoot 440douche until it cooled off to 99 degrees

CAforkedhorn · Jun 26, 2012

LAST EDITED ON Jun-26-12 AT 10:11PM (MST)[p]But then Forkie snapped out of the temporary heat related lapse of judgment and gutshot 440Douche TWICE, only to have Piper show up looking for a handout...

feddoc · Jun 26, 2012

LAST EDITED ON Jun-26-12 AT 10:29PM (MST)[p]Er, handjob from STTM who then, immediately....

TAGATTRACTER · Jun 27, 2012

Slapped the piss out of Piper.

With his best porn star musthaced faced STTM sent Piper on the quest for a Northern California love doll and went back to

eelgrass · Jun 27, 2012

to the cement pond to cool off. Piper came back with a blow up Nancy Pelosi doll with a big smile on his face. He blew it up, grabbed some butter flavored Crisco and.....

norby · Jun 27, 2012

then Piper decided that Pelosi wouldn't do it for him so he blew up his Obama doll flipped it on it's stomach and...

BT

theox · Jun 29, 2012

and started giving it a rusty trombone(check urban dictionary for definition). just then there was a knock at the door....

ShowThemToMe · Jun 29, 2012

kilo opened the Door!

It was RUS!

He was Campaining again for Obama!

4 years ago He was Proud as Hell when he Won the Copper!

Now the Copper/Dollar ain't worth nothin!

A voice from the back room from CUPSY Yells at slick.............

[font color=red size=redsize=18"face"]SHOW THEM TO ME![/font]
If You Love Your Country,SHOW THEM TO ME!

I've got Wild Honey Tree's and Crazy Little Weeds growin around my Shack!
These Dusty Roads ain't streets of gold but I'm happy right where I'm at!
All these Perty little Western Belles are a Country Boys Dream!
They ain't got Wings or MM Halo's but they sure look good to me!