Texas Hunting Regulations

Dahlmer

Active Member
Messages
247
As the Texas hunting regulations so clearly state, VP Cheney was well within the bounds of the law.

"TEXAS PARKS & WILDLIFE APPLICABLE LAWS
Harvesting of Attorneys: Seasons, Methods, and Bag Limits

370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting
license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport(non-commercial) purposes.

370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted . The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.

370.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is
prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed immediately to the nearest car wash.

370.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.

370.05 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH," "AMBULANCE," or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

370.06 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 10 - 20 yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoon.

370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of
courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals or brothels.

370.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same.

370.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

370.10 Bag and Possession Limits per day:

> Yellow-bellied sidewinders, 2;
> Two-faced tortfeasors, 1;
> Back-stabbing divorce litigators, 3;
> Horn-rimmed cut-throats, 2;
> Minutiae-advocating dirtbags, 4.
> Honest attorneys protected (Endangered Species Act).

ARS 8007.21 It is illegal to take attorneys with a moving vehicle unless there are no measurable skid marks at the kill site."
 

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