Things That Chap My A$$

Bates7

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LAST EDITED ON May-11-10 AT 03:36PM (MST)[p]I'll start this one off.

I work for the largest bank in the U.S.A. and no it's not Goldman Sachs. Also I work at a corporate campus so I have about 5,000 coworkers around me 5 days a week.

Here's "What Chaps My A$$". When I go into the bathroom and there is an occupant or two just getting done with their deed and leaving. The guy that puts the fake good hygiene act on, you know the type that's been sitting on the toilet and then stands in front of the mirror combing his hair or whatever and then leaves without washing up. That dude is frigging sick. How about the one that's taking a leak, zipps up and goes to the sink and does the little 2 second finger rinse with cold water and no soap. Good lord that type of human behavior really chaps my arse. We are all working in the same environment handling common equipment throughout the building all day, such as copy machines, phones, pens, computers and so on. That type of behavior is just plain disgusting.

At home or out in the woods or in my vegatable garden I'm not nearly as concerned with strict personal hygiene practices, as I am when I'm at work.

http://img1.jurko.net/avatar_13010.jpg[/img][/url]
 
Went and looked at a job today.
The House is total Human filth
They have 'NO' money
but cats & dogs running everywhere,yes inside the house
got to go back thursday & do the work,I'm hoping they call & cancel,there are some jobs you just can't charge enough for.
Lazy,Filthy,Disgusting bastards Chap My A$$!
 
Well - there are so many things that carry bacteria and viruses, it is kind of mind boggling. The bathroom isn't even the worst of it. If you really knew what was on your hands, you would wash them before going to the bathroom!

UTROY
Proverbs 21:19 (why I hunt!)
 
Speaking of bathroom etiquette, I hate going into the toilet area and seeing a floater. About makes me want to puke. People should either double flush or turn around and look to make sure it went its merry way.
 
Bates,

Your story reminds me of a biology professor I had in college. He told us that urine, from a healthy human being is actually very clean. Almost sterile.

Then he told us this joke:

Two guys are standing at the urinals at the same time. First guy gets done and goes to the sink and begins washing his hands. Second guy finishes his business, zips and starts to walk out the door.

First guy says: "Hey partner, where I come from they teach us to wash our hands after using the toilet."

Second guy says: "Where I come from they teach us not to piss on our hands".
 
When I was in college we did a lab and took swabs from many different places in the building. Some of these included door knobs, hand rails, bathroom sinks and urinals/toilets, lab computer keyboards and we swabbed a couple students as well. After we grew the cultures the places that had the most bacteria was the drinking fountain, hand rails and one mechanical engineering student. The least bacteria was found in the the bathroom sink and urinal/toilets.

The thing that pisses me off the most are lazy a$$es that want everyhting given to them for free. If you want to be lazy thats fine with me, but don't ask for anything.
 
"After we grew the cultures the places that had the most bacteria was the drinking fountain, hand rails and one mechanical engineering student."

LMAO - but that dude was proud!


UTROY
Proverbs 21:19 (why I hunt!)
 
At the office we will have goodies on the sales counter for customers and all to enjoy. Sometimes it's wrapped candy, shelled peanuts, mixed nuts, ect. It boggles my mind to watch people help themselves and dig around in the dish or container only to grab a little leaving the rest of the treats tainted IMHO. A coworker and I sat back and watched another coworker the other day just pillage through a tray of mixed nuts and we just shook our heads and he wondered what the problem was, so I kindly said the way you gather treats is making myself and another coworker wanting to throw up in our mouths. He thought we were nuts saying "what's the big deal?" I replied it would be like you bringing your lunch, sandwich, burger, ect. to work, sitting it on your desk unwrapped and watching me go through it hands on admiring it and just sitting it down and walking away. In all seriousness he said why would you do that? My answer was I don't know, why would you? Did I mention unfortunately I have noticed him scratchin himself in places we shouldn't discuss on here? Let's just say the candy dish and treats are not on my to eat list unless it's wrapped candy. Werthers Original mmmm. It's probably better this has happened anyway, my fat arse needs to cut down on the garbage intake.
 
Since we talking about work places so far I'll say one thing that really chaps my hide is going into the restroom and seeing an empty roll of toilet paper or paper towels on the roll. If you used the last of it put a new roll on!
 
What really chaps mine at my 'office' is when I go to hook on to an implement and the jerk weed scientist who unhooked it last left some pressure in the hydraulics. Nothing like taking a bath in high pressure hydraulic fluid.
 
I thought of another one,
when I see a smoker go into a non smoking building and before they go in the door they take one last pull off their cigarette then throw the butt down outside and go inside and blow smoke out in the building. Litter bugs and inconsiderate of the air others breathe!
 
How about when your at the super market in the middle of the isle and someone quickly walks through and crop dusts (farts) the whole thing and about the time you notice what has happen it's already too late and there is other people Gaging/looking at you as they make a hasty retreat.
 
to me the worst is hearing all about guys being hardcore hunters- then later seeing pictures of these 250-300+lbs fatsoes or 55+ yr old geezers who are trying to be internet studs. " o-oh line im out in holywood, i'm 6'5" and i look damn good"
 
To me, the worst is 25-30 yr old snivveling pantywastes, calling me a "250 lb old geezer".

I worked hard, bled a lot and sweated my ass off, to get to the age of 63. You might make it yourself, if you're tough enough....and don't run your mouth too much to your elders.

What have you done so far diaper bandit?
 
>To me, the worst is 25-30
>yr old snivveling pantywastes, calling
>me a "250 lb old
>geezer".
>
>I worked hard, bled a lot
>and sweated my ass off,
>to get to the age
>of 63. You might make
>it yourself, if you're tough
>enough....and don't run your mouth
>too much to your elders.
>
>
> What have you done so
>far diaper bandit?

LMAO!!


horsepoop.gif


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Very good replies by all, Nickman lmao!!!

What I hate at work? lol here are just a few,

When a person is so drunk they have vomited all over themselves or ##### their pants before I have to search them in.

When I find drugs on a person and then get to go to court because the arresting officer did not perform a good search.

When someone says just wait until the cuffs come off,,,, then nothing,, lmao !!!!
 
'When I find drugs on a person and then get to go to court because the arresting officer did not perform a good search.'

A good search for me means nobody gets shived or shot in the hoosegow. Short of that I leave the bindles for the professional nut rubbers. :) Besides, waiting at court can be lonely with only the riff raff to keep you company.


4abc76ff29b26fc1.jpg
 
LAST EDITED ON May-12-10 AT 00:47AM (MST)[p]45 your customers are always clean ya dork!!!! But when I find drugs and uncapped needles in 4 out of 6 pockets that really chaps my ass !!!! Just ask Officer xyz.... For some reason he does not talk to me anymore????
 
"Things That Chap My A$$"

Someone with plenty of money trying to save a dollar at my expense!

Rude people with no concern of others waiting at crosswalks.

habitual thieves always getting out of jail only to steal again.

The "big One" always getting away.

Women who get pregnant, say on a first "date", having the option of either having an abortion OR having the sperm donor pay child support for 18 years. The dude has no say in the matter one way or the other, just seems wrong to me.

People who solicit bids that require a lot of time to work up, never to be heard from again.

Those that open their car's door, bang it into the side of my trucks and think nothing of it.

If i had the time, could think of a LOT more! :)

Joey
 
I expect stupid people to be stupid so not much really chaps my ass...

I'm glad I'm not Coach Mike Brown right now...Lebron and Co. REEEEEEALLY chapped his ass last night!! LMAO!! Been tellin ya'll they aint going to no Finals this year...

GO KOBE GO!!

~Z~
 
have to agree with opening thier car door into yours and dont think anything of thier beatup, wrecked, pos doing any damage to yours.
People who feel that they must hurry to get onto the street 2 car lengths in front of you to only drive 5 mph under the speed limit as soon as they get out there.

Those that feel they must run right up on your a** on the freeway before they pass you. They know they are catching you, why not just get in the other lane already! And then there are the ones who run up on you at 90mph when your doing 80 and then decide that your a good car to follow, even if you slow down to 60 to let them pass...then they WON'T!! Man..what are these people thinking?
There are some stupid stupid people driving the freeways, too bad you can't just take them out like a management hunt for deer!!

Kids that walk across the road as slowly as they can just to make you stop, almost daring you to hit them. In my day the driver would of jumped out and kicked the **** out of you and then told your dad so he could do it again.
 
How bout the JOKER that calls you & wants you to do some work for him that says:It will only take you a 'minute'?
What he's really telling you is:He only wants to pay you for a minutes worth of work!
 
I'm gonna add one more thing to the list,I'll try not destroying your breakfast!

When I'm working in a Commercial place such as a Restaurant and I see Filth back in the kitchen areas,only to know a LowLife Health Inspector is turning his head,yes,this Chaps My A$$!
 
People who curse in public when kids are around.


Compromise, hell! ... If freedom is right and tyranny is wrong, why should those who believe in freedom treat it as if it were a roll of bologna to be bartered a slice at a time?
 
The power and influence that the "thinking emotionally instead of scientifically" anti-hunters have on our lawmakers and Fish & Game Departments. Whenever Hollywood portrays hunters as these evil people trying to kill Bambi. Just the whole hypocrisy of it all. As kids we read stories about The Big Bad Wolf only to have that view twisted around and now these predators are considered friends and almost pets to a lot of these Wolf Lovers. I freaking hate it!

By the way Joey if the guy who had the one night stand with that woman would have strapped on a Jimmy or pulled out, he probably wouldn't have been in this situation. I just saying.

One last thing that really chaps my A$$ is reading twodogs posts or any post that he has replied to. They are usually very negative.

JR
 
I have to agree with the smoking post, stay the hell away from the DOOR! I need ten of those signs that say NO smoking within 25 feet. Another pet peeve is when they set the half gone cigarette next to the door still lit so they can finish it when they leave.
 
It chaps my butt when I take a plate of ex-lax brownies to work, Go to the trouble to hide all the Tolet Paper in both mens and womens restrooms. Then to find out there was one left on the plate.

Rutnbuck
 
LAST EDITED ON May-12-10 AT 06:31PM (MST)[p]LAST EDITED ON May-12-10 AT 06:28?PM (MST)

LAST EDITED ON May-12-10 AT 06:27?PM (MST)

Here's an oldy but a goodie. Driving in the big city through construction zones or other regular situations when lanes are ending and traffic needs to merge into the open lanes and every riceburner, soccermom, or any other utard races to the end and sometimes travels in the emergency lane to beat others just to get ahead by a whopping 2 or 3 positions in traffic.

Can't forget about the good old double dippers at work or anywhere else for that matter. I never thought about it until the infamous Seinfeld episode with Timmy and George. "That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip!"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1J3w4cS2MvM
 
SINCE I RETIRED 6 YEARS AGO, NOT MUCH BOTHERS ME. THINGS I USED TO GET PISSED AT I JUST LET GO.......ITS A GOOD THING..............YD.
 
Pepper Spray

horsepoop.gif


Disclaimer:
The poster does not take any responsibility for any hurt or bad feelings. Reading threads poses inherent risks. The poster would like to remind readers to make sure they have a functional sense of humor before they visit any discussion board.
 
LAST EDITED ON May-13-10 AT 02:34AM (MST)[p]B_BOP_A_LU....

I have driven in Tardville..pulling a 36' fifth wheel loaded with 125gals. of water, about 30 gals of fuel, and about 800 pounds of motorcycles and such. Had to do 80 just to keep from getting ran over thru the narrow construction zones, its always nice when you look in the sideview mirrow and see your ladder or the side of your trailer about 1/2" from the concrete dividers. Man, does your guys construction ever end? I've been going thru there for 15 years and that dang freeway is NEVER finished!! I always like the people that hurry to get in front of you when the road narrows so they can beat you by 3 seconds.
 
It chaps me when you can't get colonel motors to honor his warranty. 3 36 my AZZ. More like the minute you leave my lot good luck with that son.
 
It also chaps me that nobody tells me where this infernal secretive chat room is. It also chaps me that REDDOG is in love with his 375 ruger ultra mag.
 
1/2" Huh?
Hell you had plenty of room,lol!
I'd still like to take Eel for a ride at quitin time!
Ya,if they can clip your front fender & gain a car length they'll damn sure do it.
No,the freeways on the Wasatch are never finished.
Anybody wanna run the Mormon 500 at 5:00 PM?
It really ain't that bad,unless Speed & Belchers scare you!
 
LAST EDITED ON May-13-10 AT 08:13AM (MST)[p]have to agree with opening thier car door into yours and dont think anything of thier beatup, wrecked, pos doing any damage to yours.
........


A few years ago I was recovering from ankle surgery. Left home, stopped off at DQ to get a Hawaiian blizzard and headed to Reno.

Got to the doctor's office and had to pee, but, being on crutches kinds slowed me up a bit, so, I just peed into the nearly empty blizzard cup. Just as I was finishing my truck rocked side to side...earthquake...nope, some ##### pulled in beside me and opened her door into the side of my truck.

I crutched my way out of the truck and asked her WTF,O. She replied 'That's what insurance is for' Dang, I was mad.

Her driver's side window was down just enough and, well, I had to dump that blizzard/pee mix somewhere.



Compromise, hell! ... If freedom is right and tyranny is wrong, why should those who believe in freedom treat it as if it were a roll of bologna to be bartered a slice at a time?
 
I hate when you find a good new song you like, and then a couple months later the radio catches on and everyone likes it, then the radio station plays it way too much, happens all too often. I dont need to hear any songs 15 times a day.

Rub some dirt on it, ya sissy!
 
Pulling into a camp site and finding out the people who camped there before me didn't know how to make a latrine or pick up their garbage before they left....... Terry
 
It chaps me that everybody on MM seems to kill bigger deer and elk than me when I know I am a better hunter than them.A better shot too. If you doubt me you can tell it from reading my posts. God must be mad at me or something.....

;-)
 
Stickman;

I agree, I picked up or out the fire pit where a well known guiding family had burned their trash in the fire and just left it.

I picked it all out and got soooooo mad after I did that I drove to St. George to get supplies and put it all in 2 boxes and mailed it to them, wasn't cheap, but I was mad. Left a note and return address but never heard a word about it. That was 4-5 years ago, boy time flys, when your a mean old fart.

Gee I guess , just talking about it made my mad again.

Steve Cheuvront
 
+1 1911

I agree with you 150%.. In my opinion they should not even waste the taxpayers money on convicting those two pieces of human trash.. Set them on a horse with a rope around their neck and wait for the horse to walk out from under them..
 
Posters like the JOKER up on post # 42 that run their mouth off in PM's to people like my friend Fireball77

Let's just say 'You'll ride a black tornado..............
Yes,I'm talking to you JIZZ!
 
Dang!....I am hurt to the heart!

I thought I was the only one who Jizz sent nasty missives to by PM. Now I find out that he REALLY is just a common PM ho!

And all this time I thought it was only me that he loved.
 
>Stickman;
>
>I agree, I picked up or
>out the fire pit where
>a well known guiding family
>had burned their trash in
>the fire and just left
>it.
>
>I picked it all out and
>got soooooo mad after I
>did that I drove to
>St. George to get supplies
>and put it all in
>2 boxes and mailed it
>to them, wasn't cheap, but
>I was mad. Left a
>note and return address but
>never heard a word about
>it. That was 4-5 years
>ago, boy time flys, when
>your a mean old fart.
>
>
>Gee I guess , just talking
>about it made my mad
>again.
>
>Steve Cheuvront


Same here. I video taped a guy dumping his trash in a pile next to an old cabin. Got his plate number and had a buddy run them for an address. Sent the tape and the trash to his home in Denver. I hate litterbugs.

Compromise, hell! ... If freedom is right and tyranny is wrong, why should those who believe in freedom treat it as if it were a roll of bologna to be bartered a slice at a time?
 
I hate drawing a tag for Wyoming, then remembering I have to drive through Tardville to get there!

My knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel at about Wendover and they stay white until about the turn off to Park City.

THE ONLY eel WONDERING HOW LONG IT TAKES A TARD TO DRIVE ACROSS UTAH.
 
LAST EDITED ON May-15-10 AT 12:05PM (MST)[p]Things that chap my a**

Thiefs
Litter bugs
Rude people
Inconsiderate people (like some said-door dingers)
People who drive slow in the fast lane
The fact that I have to hire an outfitter to hunt WY wilderness

Speaking of litter bugs, I used to fish for Flatheads every year in Az with a buddy of mine who lived there. One day he was on a bait run when another friend and I witnessed some guys across the river leave a huge pile of trash when they left. I grabbed the binos and got their license #. A GW came by a little while later and I told him about it. He was stoked, especially when he called in the plates...said he'd been trying to nab this guy for sometime. He asked if I'd be willing to testify because this guy was related to the sheriff and without me as a witness they probably couldn't convict. I thought uh-oh, my buddy's dad IS the sheriff! So I told him the situation and that I was going to pass on the appearance. He said he understood and appreciated it anyway.
I didn't tell my buddy about it until the next year. He said "Dude! That's my cousin and he's a POS!! I woulda went to court with you!" Oh well...

"The value of any trophy from the field depends not on its size but on the magnitude of the effort expended in its pursuit." ~ Aldo Leopold
 
This also c m a

People who think gays in the military will ruin the armed forces.

Fellas, they have been there for ever, believe it or not.

And brave, they are just any one else, some are some ain't.

But to say they are all out to grab your a$$ and will run when the fighting starts is total b/s.

My 2 cents worth.

Steve Cheuvront
 
I could not care less if one is hetero, homo, or likes to go at it with vintage toaster ovens if that floats the boat. I don't care so keep it out of my face. It has nothing to do with phobia, discrimination, or anything else. I really don't care and I'm not inclined to be forced to give my seal of approval to anyone regardless of which wind sets their sails. The preoccupation with such subjects chaps me.
4abc76ff29b26fc1.jpg
 
1911, like this one here? You gotta admit, it has a certain appeal. I wonder if Wiz would hit it?

1361ist2_5562643-vintage-toaster-with-toast.jpg


Eel

"I was beginning to lose my stomach for guiding, finding that the hunted were often more noble than the hunter."
Jay Hammond
 
Oh...this really burns my butt...machine made phone calls.

And, Friday Bank of America called my work number asking for XXX. They left a machine generated message. XXX has been dead for 8 years, doesn't work there anymore. So I call the number trying to tell them that not only does he not work here, he is dead.

Ring. Them: May I have your SSN? Me: No. Them: Well I can't process your account. Me: I don't have an..(they hung up). WTF, O. I call back, finally talk to someone who doesn't hang up. They say, ok your number will be off the list now.

They called again Sunday. Oh, it looks like the last person forgot to take your number off the list.


Compromise, hell! ... If freedom is right and tyranny is wrong, why should those who believe in freedom treat it as if it were a roll of bologna to be bartered a slice at a time?
 
Thanks BBOP Don't worry about Jazz Or Jizz, he is just one of those kids that got picked on in school and now he wants to get his revenge being a CYBER bully.( and one that doesn't make sense I might add.)


+1 1911 on the scum bags from Layton.
 
feddoc;

Find the home number of you bank branch manager and when the bank makes those calls, even if it is the Master card or Visa
folks, which they will say they have no control over, when you call and leave a message every 5 minutes all day long, your problems will be over and a call of appology to boot.

It worked for me.

Steve
 
Going camping and having some joker hide a sucker fish in my tent just before I go to bed.
Returning from Wendover to SLC only to pull up behind some White knuckled old man with California plates wearing Camo weaving all over the freeway doing 45 in the 95 lane. Oh yeah he has a Spotted Owl for a hood ornament! NO way you can get around this guy.

Rutnbuck
 
Just back from another road trip.
I see some of you listed "people that drive slow in the fast lane" as an ass chapper.
Well, I think the reverse is even worse.
I watch these idiots try to drive 90+ in the slow lane then they dart out right in front of you when they come up on a slower moving big rig, very nearly clipping the guy in the fast lane, then just as quickly bolt back into the slow lane only to repeat the stupid assed move over and over again.
WTF?
I watched numerous near misses as folks slammed on the binders to avoid these jokers.
Just want to wring the dumb mfer's neck that does this shiat.

Other "Chappers" for me too are litterbugs, especially people that flick their cigarette butts out the window in the middle of summer when the three foot tall dry oat grass is waving in the wind.
Dumb Ass would rather burn down people's homes than get his ashtray dirty.
Big Time Ass Chapper.
evil.gif

HH
 
In reply to post #62

Jazz you really need help buddy, Dyke really was all you could think of. Sad little man !!!
 
CMA.....

the chicken fornicating essobee who hit my kid with his car. Then left.

Thursday pm at the grocery store. Kid (he is 10) and I are walking past a row of cars and are almost past this white Toyota Prius when it started to back out. Just grazed my kid, and he is certainly ok, but the azzhole took off without saying a word. At least he has a fist sized dent on his deck lid.

Called the cops, they made contact...said he wasn't drunk/drugged but did admit to grazing him and also admitted to using his back up camera to see if anything was behind him. He also told the cops that he was going to apologize but felt that stopping was not in his best interest due to my size and state of anger.


Compromise, hell! ... If freedom is right and tyranny is wrong, why should those who believe in freedom treat it as if it were a roll of bologna to be bartered a slice at a time?
 
Windshield Wiper blades!!! {> {> {>

I've bought expensive ones, i've bought the reasonable priced ones. They just don't make them like they used to. It Chaps my hind end every time i have to go buy another set for my rigs because the last set only lasted 5 months. What a POS!!!

Not only are the wipers POS, the metal arm that the wiper slips onto... will scratch deep into your windshield in just a few strokes if it doesn't have freaking blade on it!!

Wiper Assembly Manufacturing Co's and Windshield Manufacturing Co's must be in cahoots together!!! :)

Joey
 
I am surprised that someone hasn't posted something about the (.) that park in handicap parking spots when they are not handicap - it also seems like alot of the senior citizens think just because they are old they can park where they want. I am 70 years old and I walk, get a life.

wildsage
 
wildsage, I'll give yours a +1

Today at the post office, grandma parked in the only handicap space while her cute little grand daughter jumped out to go and get the mail, WTF?? Small time irritation i know but maybe not to those truly handicapped.

Joey
 
Nickman,,,,,,!!!!
I've been hangin around here for a few years and this is the "Best Damn Post" I've ever read !!! You the Man !!!!
 
>Windshield Wiper blades!!! {> {> {>
>
>I've bought expensive ones, i've bought
>the reasonable priced ones. They
>just don't make them like
>they used to. It Chaps
>my hind end every time
>i have to go buy
>another set for my rigs
>because the last set only
>lasted 5 months. What a
>POS!!!
>
>Not only are the wipers POS,
>the metal arm that the
>wiper slips onto... will scratch
>deep into your windshield in
>just a few strokes if
>it doesn't have freaking blade
>on it!!
>
>Wiper Assembly Manufacturing Co's and Windshield
>Manufacturing Co's must be in
>cahoots together!!! :)
>
>Joey

LOL!! I was just thinking about this the other day. Seems like everytime it rains I have to go get new wipers. Then it quits raining. By the time it rains again, the wipers are falling apart! You know damn well they could make them to last if they wanted to, but they'd rather have you buy them every 6 months.


"The value of any trophy from the field depends not on its size but on the magnitude of the effort expended in its pursuit." ~ Aldo Leopold
 
It chaps me when people are tightwads at other people's expense - case in point: the neighbor lady recently had a yard sale to help cover some unexpected medical bills. She was trying to sell everything but the kitchen sink. Some goofy-looking D-Bag, picks up an item that was already an extraordinarily good deal and offers about half of the price. In her desperate and distracted state, she agreed. I overheard him at another yard sale bragging about how great of a negotiator he was and how he never pays full price and blah, blah, blah. I didn't put two and two together until she told me later about the mistake she had made when selling the item. Honestly, how could anybody be proud about that? To me, it was unbelievable. Karma is a #####.
 
FREAKIN BICYCLERS THAT RIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF THHIGHWAY WEARING THERE NASTY SPANDEX AND COOL SUN GLASSES JUST KNOWING THEY ARE TICKING PEOPLE OFF LIKE ME! that chaps my A$$!!! i hate them idiots they have almost cause me to crash sev eral times going down the mountains and such. one of these days those idiots are not gonna be so lucky that i was able to stop before nailing them!
 
Drunk jaywalkers. I damn near killed one today with my pickup.

http://img1.jurko.net/avatar_13010.jpg[/img][/url]
 
People that cut in line.Ive almost got in to a couple fights because I dont let it happen!
This ones a no brainer people that have no concern for others safety.You see them all the time.When I drop off my kids i see these people come so close to these kids its scary!All I know is if you hit my kid im coming for you,no words!and ill wait till your feeling all cumfy in your home.I dont like people who dont care about others!
Safe Hunting
 

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