You might be a hunter if...

[Cowboy]

You might be a hunter if...

Your pocket knife will shave hair
You know exactly how many inches high your bullet hits at 100 yds
You can field dress a deer in the moonlight
You can sort out the mink, coon, fox, coyote and bobcat tracks down along the river
You can tell what kind of duck by how it flies
You can start a fire with one match
Your basement smells like linseed oil and Hoppe?s No. 9
Your boy learns to whistle like a bull elk before he can say ?awesome?
The last steak you had was not beef
You like to watch snow falling in the porch light
You sniff spent shell cases
You have ever had to thaw your shooting finger in a cup of coffee
Your pocket change includes a few 22 long rifle cartridges
Opening day is like a religious holiday to you

Any more???

 

[BCBOY]

You get "turned on" by the smell of doe piss.
Your living room in full of discarded chunks of bone.
You wife constantly catches you fondling your antlers.
Your lawn looks like a jungle since you don't have time to cut it because you are too busy scouting.
Your wife has to scream at you "keep your eyes one the road" while you are driving into town because you are busy gawking looking for critters.
While driving down the highway you can spot a deer up on a hill more than 5 miles away and your family never believes you.
You have done U-Turns in the middle of the highway because you saw a deer and you wanted a better look at it.
You have found shed antlers while driving highway speed.
All the family vacations revolve around sheds, scouting, or hunting.

 

[huntsonora]

family vacations revolve around hunting season.

someone asks where you live you have to reply with, "depends on what season is open"

You spend more money on gas during hunting season than your truck is actually worth.

Your favorite color is Camouflage

someone says a girl has a huge rack you wonder how wide it is and what it will score

you have a hard time with simple mathematics but can field judge a mule deer to within 2 inches in less than a second.

Drummond

 

[caelkhnter]

the only matching "suit" you own is camo...

whenever you are asked what you would like for Christmas, Birthdays etc your answer is always "good glass"...

you do all your personel shopping from a catalog...cabelas...

when your absolute worst day of hunting is better than any days in town...

 

[dakotakid]

....you urge your family members to plan weddings and child births around hunting seasons.

....your gun,glass and atv are worth more than your pick-up.

....say a prayer and give thanks to the Lord for the harvest of an animal.

....a smashed PB&J sandwhich and a warm rootbeer while overlooking a honey hole tastes better than prime rib.

....the smell of wet leaves,sage on a crisp morning or pine smoke stirs something deep inside you.

Mike

 

[kingfish]

.....You spend countless hours at the gun range

.....You sneak up on your family while camping

.....You spend hours blowing your elk calls while your watching a primos elk hunting tape..

.....You put monsterMuleys decals on your truck windows

.....Everytime you see a great pair of leather hunting boots you get an erection...

 

[Cowboy]

Kingbean,

I dont know about that last one bud. Sounds more like a response to: You might have a foot fetish if...

 

[dakotakid]

WHOA!!! an erection, thats TMI kingweenie.....

Mike

 

[kingfish]

LAST EDITED ON Feb-04-04 AT 02:23PM (MST)[p]TMI?????

.....Never mind, I got it...To much information!!!!. So I like leather boots!!!!LOL.............

 

[muleyqueen]

The tree in your front yard has a spotlight and gambrel in it permanently!

You've used the jamboree rack on the back of your jeep as the deer hauler.

 

[dakotakid]

LOL, I do have a gambrel permantly mounted in the tree, my neighbors freaking love me come Oct.

Mike

 

[TheKnack]

You reload with the care of a nuclear scientist.
You shoot an 1" group and call it horrible and that you flinched.
You stand outside your house and wish you could blast the geese flying by.
You go to a national park and make verbal "boom" noises at the deer and elk.
Your most expensive item you own is a rifle.
You set out to hike one mountain and end up three mountains past since you had to see what was on the other side of the next hill.
You go scouting, hunting, film winter range bucks then shed hunt and start all over again in spring.
Your most expensive clothing items are camo patterned.
Your most expensive shoes are your hiking/hunting boots.
Your best pictures are of deer and not your family.
Your most expensive knife is your hunting blades.
You tell your wife "heck I do it all the time" when she has to go to the bathroom while on a hike.
Your wife lets you bring dead critters in the house without batting an eye and wants to touch them.
Your best Christmas gift is anything that has to do with hunting equipment.
Etc. Ect.
Best,
Jerry

 

[Paul_Crawford]

You spend Christmas morning lying in a corn field with your honker decoys waiting for the real thing to come.

You spend Christmas afternoon cleaning a limit of honkers.

You spend Christmas evening fighting with your wife because you went honker hunting. Paul

 

[manny15]

>family vacations revolve around hunting season.
>
>
>someone asks where you live you
>have to reply with, "depends
>on what season is open"
>
>
>You spend more money on gas
>during hunting season than your
>truck is actually worth.
>
>Your favorite color is Camouflage
>
>someone says a girl has a
>huge rack you wonder how
>wide it is and what
>it will score
>
>you have a hard time with
>simple mathematics but can field
>judge a mule deer to
>within 2 inches in less
>than a second.
>
>Drummond

someone says a girl has a huge rack you wonder how wide it is and what it will score.LOL.

Drum' yours wins hands down...LOL......

 

[bldgr10]

Both you and your wife's doctor are able to convince your pregnant wife into inducing labor early so you and the doc can go deer hunting without having to worry about cutting the season short. Yeah, it worked.

Mark

 

[AZbowhntr]

You spend more than 2 hours a day on MonsterMuleys.
Your deer hunt this last year cost more than your whole families vacation did.
Every function that you go to you somehow end up talking about hunting with someone that probably could care less.
Every item on your Christmas list has something to do with hunting.
The only thing you ask for for your Birthday is the Cabelas Dangerous Hunting game for the Xbox (it is awesome by the way).

 

[Cooter]

You spend more than the time needed to do your biz on the crapper because you're gawking at the pics in Trophy Hunter, Bugle or Cabela's catalogs.

Your blaze orange, camo clothing and hunting boots outnumber your suits, jeans and street shoes.

You sniff your shotgun hulls and rifle cartridges immediately after shooting your gun.

You have as many decoys as you have hand tools.

You yell "Shoot him, you idiot"! when watching some hunting shows on the Outdoor Channel.

You ridicule the likes of Jackie Bushman and can't wait for the Primos, Christensen Arms or Eastman shows on the tube.

 

[polarbear]

LAST EDITED ON Feb-06-04 AT 06:04AM (MST)[p]....you spend most of your commute time blowing misc. game calls.
....you tell the wife that you want to recover all the furniture in Mossy Oak.
....you have more dead critters hanging on the walls than pictures
....your hunting album is biger than your family or wedding album.
....you take your wife to an elk/sheep feeding station on your honeymoon. (I still get pitched crap for that one)
....you plan your hunts 3 to 5 years in advance.
....you run on bald tires all summer just so you can get brand new ones a couple of days before season.
....you think that a camo nightie is sexier than a black lacey one.
....you use Hoppes Nitro 9 for aftershave.
....you burn powder in your house or car as an air freshener.
....you have an archery target set up in your barn for rainy days.
....you name your kids Hunter or Buck
....you cant cet off of the sh!tter because your legs fell asleep from sitting too long and reading through the Cabela's catalog for the 10000000th time. "Honey, I need help again!"
....you wonder why they cant have all of these federal holidays lumped into a block in the middle of november.
....you have a camo telephone, keyboard, mouse, and monitor.
....every conversation you have ends up with a hunting story.
....you bathe with scent killer all year round.
....you have ever dumped a girlfriend in early september just to get back with her after season is over, (3 years in a row)
....you have been out hunting so long that you forgot where you lived.
....you have ever sold a car in order to pay for a hunting trip.
....you have camo halters, paniers and reigns for your horse.
....you spend more time in the summer getting yourself and your horse in shape than you do with your family.
....you have ever crashed your truck because you were too busy looking for critters.
....you catch people looking at you weird because you are pretending to shoot the geese in the park.
....you seriously think about trading your wifes diamond in on a new rifle and secretly replacing it with a cubiczerconia.

Eric

 

[nk]

*you plan on concieving during months that wont interfere with hunting

*after the seasons over you go through severe withdrawals

* your wife tells you you need HA (hunters anonymous)

* you have clipped the top of your dogs back while sooting your bow in the backyard (never really happened to me, but im sure it had somewhere)

*your homeowners association tickets you for shooting your bow in the landscaped area next to your home (that did happen)

*you have trouble talking to your friends who dont hunt because you have nothing in common anymore

* you go to work sick so you can use your sick days to hunt

* and javalina glands, skunk smell, and gutting lions smells like heaven

nk

 

[Cowboy]

You might be a hunter if...

you ever slept under your pickup truck to get out of the rain or snow
you have at least one buddy with the nic name of bucky
the only the reason you answer the phone on Saturday during hunting season is because your buddy is late to pick you up
you have several "dead critter" photo albums
you know just how far to sit behind the antlers in a picture so they look big but you havent made it obvious
you ante up in a poker match with five 44 mags.
you start a beard on about Sept 15 and shave it for Christmas
there are animal bones in your yard
you have 2 or 3 rolls of freezer wrap in your shopping cart

 

[ridgetop]

LAST EDITED ON Feb-08-04 AT 04:17PM (MST)[p]....your book shelf is lined with enough dog eared Delorme Gazetteers, if sold for original face value, to finance a small army.
...your ideal vacation is a week in the woods hunting out of a backpack miles from anywhere.
... you got in trouble in school for bringing your turkey call and using it in class.

... your two year old daughter:
~along with a Barbie fishing pole, wants a Barbie gun and Barbie camoflage for her next birthday.
~ knows what the elk and the turkey say with some precision.
~ says "I like cats, and Mommy likes dogs." So what does daddy like? "Daddy likes deer."
~has fallen asleep in her carseat driving around looking at critters
~got her fancy go-to-meeting shoes muddy from a walk in the woods.

 

[antlerrick]

LAST EDITED ON Feb-08-04 AT 11:39PM (MST)[p]Your 2 year old granddaughter wants to watch "elk" on TV with grandpa, instead of Roly Poly Olie.

Whenever you take your granddaughter for a ride in your truck, her first words are "Go see Elk, Grandpa!"

When your relatives refuse to come over for "home videos" because they know they will only see wildlife videos.

You go into depression for a month after seeing the words "UNSUCCESSFUL" for the umpteenth time on your big game drawing letter!

Your wife lets you spend your whole summer scouting and the fall hunting, after drawing a LE elk permit, instead of taking her on the romantic cruise you had promised her for your 25th anniversary. (still trying to figure out how to fix this one!!)

When all the favorites on your computer only have to do with HUNTING!!! (didn't know there was anything else on there)

When you enjoy reading MM forums more that watching another stupid video that the better half has brought home...

Thanks for all the laughs!!! They are great!

a*r

 

[eyeguard]

You pick up every old spent shell you see on the ground just to see what caliber it is.

EG

 

[SoTX]

your 8 year old daughter can debate with you the gross B&C score of a buck in the feild.

When male co-workers at your wifes place of work try to impress others with their hunting knowledge and show their pictures of deer they have recently taken and all she can say is "How many inches of mass? It is all about the mass."

Your truck is painted OD green or camo.

Your neck starts to swell around the first of October.

You own 6 sets of hunting boots and one pair of street shoes.

Your venison sausage recipe is a well guarded secret.

You have a piece of antler on your key ring.

 

[chinochief]

Even your bicycle has a gun rack on it.

 

[chinochief]

You would rather read Trophy Hunter than Playboy