'Ol Betsy

[HoundDawg]

I was sworn to secrecy a couple years back and promised to never tell this story, but 'ol KeepemTreed has pushed me into it.

A few years back we was setup in bear camp down in New Mex and we was burrowed in for an extended stay. Me, Ed 'n Kevin and the boys would hunt hard until early afternoon and then settle in to help the economy in Tennesse, at least the sour mash wiskey economy.

KeepemTreed, being young and virile (Me 'n Ed passed that point 10 years ago) one day posed a question, "Say boys, ain't any of you missin' a woman? What do you boys do when you get lonely?"

Ed wiped the chaw off his chin and said, "There's always 'ol Betsy over there." And pointed to our old black molly mule.

KeepemTreed took a long hard look at 'ol Betsy and settled back into his game of Uno he was playing with BearTree. (Maybe it was Go Fish, I forget)

We continued to hunt hard and keep the elk limber. Five days later KeepemTreed again posed the question, and this time BearTree seconded him, "Hell boys, ain't any of you missin' a good woman? What do y'all do when you get lonely?"

Ed finished his horn off the hip flask, covered one nostil and launched a snot rocket and said, "Dammit boys, I told ya there's always 'ol Betsy over there."

They looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and got up from the campfire and headed over to 'ol Betsy. They took care of business with the reluctant mule and after awhile wandered back to the fire.

We all sat silently for a moment, pondering the recent events and finally Kevin broke the awkward silence, "Hell boys, I think y'all misunderstood. When Ed 'n HoundDawg get lonely, they generally just ride 'ol Betsy into town."

-Dawg

 

[bullwidgeon]

D-A-M-N!!! You boys kill me!!I am still laughing! Glad I dont hunt bears in NM with the likes of you boys running around!

Bret M.

 

[Beartree]

Well boys, I guess it's story time. I have nothing but the utmost respect for hound dawg. After all a man of his age should be at home next to the fire reading a book. I just can't hold back no longer. This story took place a few years ago in hunting camp.
Well we had been chasing bears and looking for hound dawgs lost elk hounds for a few days. When the wives decided to join us for the last few days of the hunt. We decided the men would sleep in one tent and the wives in another.
It was late and everyone was asleep, when all of the sudden hound dawg jumps up in a panic. I asked him what was the matter. He told me while finding some clothes, "I've got to get my wife and have some whoopy". I told him it could wait for later. He said,"no, you don't understand I just woke up with the biggest erection I have ever had. And I need to go and FINALLY satisify my wife." So I politely asked him,"well, do you want me to go with you." He said sturnely,"no, why would I want you to go with me." So I patiently told him,"because that was my erection you had a hold of."

 

[beardog]

I'm just glad i wasnt drinkin coffe while reading these posts. . laughing coffe out the nose hurts .. glad i learnd to read between sips a long time ago!!!

 

[Kevin D]

Not that there's anything wrong with it if that's who you are Beartree, but what the hell are you doing laying next to HoundDawg with an erection??

Reminds me of the time in sheep camp when the rookie sheep herder asked his comrades what they did for companionship when the urge arose. "Why we just pick out a ewe and have at 'er" was the answer. "I could never do that," the rookie replied, "besides, you guys would probably laugh at me." But after a few days the urge was irrepressible, so one night the rookie announced " alright, I can't stand it anymore, I'm going in, but you guys gotta promise not to laugh".

Upon returning however, the whole camp was rolling on the ground laughing their heads off. Angry, the rookie stormed back in to camp and said "you boys promised me that you wouldn't laugh!"

"Sorry," the senior sheepherder replied, "but you picked the ugliest one of the bunch!!"

Now Beartree, I could possibly understand a physical reaction if you were laying next to me, cb, or even Ed......but HoundDawg??? I'm worried about you buddy.

 

[edhunter]

The 1st story is still fixated in my mind and I can't keep from blowing snot all over again. Reading on shed some new light on this Beartree feller. I'm wondering what the hell you were doing next to dawg with the wood on? I've seen your type in NM and Utah. Most were in spandex riding bikes and had flowers painted on their little riding helmets. Dawg took a liking to one in Glenwood, was that you?

Given Dawgs reputation for finding willing women I'd have to say BS of the woody stuff. By the time you woke up Dawg would already have serviced the women folk, finished a 6 pack of Keystone lite and smoked a pack of those funny smokes he brought home from Brazil.

Ed

 

[Beartree]

Well boys, again you caught me and I must divulge the truth. They say the truth will set you free. It all began while you boys were on a hunt in New Mexico. For some reason I kept getting calls from Utah to Arizona. First there was hounddawgs wife, she was very lonely so I drove to Utah to keep her company, it was the least I could do for a friend. Then on to Kevins then to Ed's. I joined you guys later in New Mexico on the hunt. I was trying to hide it as best I could. But after all that service work, I had PERMA-WOOD for three weeks. I would have gotten away with it if hounddawg would have kept his hands to himself. I'm sorry to tell you guys this way but you are some lucky men. By the way tell all the miss's hi for me.

 

[edhunter]

Ya beartree and I heard you telling them how your horse won the Kentucky Derby also. Come clean with us. How is it that you small town Idaho boys want to always run with the men. 'bout all I've seen is you running your mouth. Of course anyone who runs walkers has to run their mouth.....their dogs ain't running nothin'.

Now I've seen Eric's walker run. Scatter headed b!tch when I had her but she can put a pad down. Treeing winch too. Does she still back up to the tree and shake all over when a bruin is up? That was a little trick I started with her but Dawg really finished her off.

So tell us about your dogs, I hear you've got to get your bears sick on apples before they'll tree, any truth to that? Come clean perma-wood, put the smut books down and hunt with the men.

Crusty 'ol Ed, putting the VI in Viagra

 

[HoundDawg]

BearTree,

You had a good story going and then you blew it. You got greedy and went too far.

Us hounddoggers are a dense, docile bunch... but even a damn Plott guy ain't gonna buy a story that there was women in camp and yet I was sleeping next to a guy named BearTree!!!

I have worn some thick beer goggles in my day but NEVER so thick that I couldn't tell the difference between a woman and a smelly hound guy.

And if you were with my wife while I was in New Mex with Ed, it's just as well... cuz I had my hands FULL with those 4 crack whores that Ed drug down from Gallup!!

Good story, but you got greedy!!! ;-)

-Dawg

 

[KeepemTreed]

Now Ed, us Idaho boys now that there in st.johns you folks drink some strange water and end up turning out to be some strange people. Do your dogs drink the same water? IT has taken me this long to finally get this walker dog that was from you to get her half straightend out, she has had some serious case of wanting to run down a older calf elk with a couple of plotts. With no plotts around she has came out to be half decent, besides her weird compulsive behavior to backup to the tree and tree backwards, is there a deep dark secret for this behavior, why she does this ed? I hope you didn't mistake her for a sheep. You are right ed we do run with the men. But the question is. Can the men run? Those hills are looking pretty steep this year and the canyons are looking deeper and I heard you have one more plott to have to look for. About the apple thing,no we prefer getting them drunk and high off watermelon once and awhile we will throw a pretty bad piece of bread in with it. Dawg, I must say you are the ladies man!

 

[edhunter]

I don't think I can blame my condition on the water, oh if it were that easy. I come from good stuck but as anyone who raised hounds can tell you, there is a cull in every litter. I suspect I'm the cull.

The walker trees like that because I ran her with my black dog not the plott. He's been neutered but it didn't take. Turn your back to him and he's trying to tie the knot on. Dixie found it was easier to tree backwards with Bear and Dawg around the tree. And don't be knocking her trashing abilities, I was crowned Prince of Trash; second only to Kevin on the MM site. Just get her in better shape. She thinks you are beating her for not catching the elk

And talking about running with the men, we'll see how you hold up when your dogs run clear into Colorado this spring. No wheeler trails down in that country. You'll have to strap on a pack and show the "Old Men" how it's done. I'm looking forward to that. I know you can out walk Dawg and I'm pretty sure you can whoop me but we'll see how you do when the pappa-in- law heads out with his 9' strides. Your tongue will be in your shirt pocket after the 1st canyon.

Ed