WHOAH!! Tap the divorce breaks a bit pardner!
First, I understand how difficult this is for you, believe me, I do. I understand every single inch of your suffering - ten times over. But, right now, you are confused, hurt, lonely, and upset. You need to step back a little and evaluate the situation from a different perspective before you go jumping straight to divorce. It would probably be an emotional decision and it really should be your last resort (even the courts will tell you that). I know you are saying she won't talk right now, but it looks like there are a lot of factors that are playing into that. The job, the barely getting by, the rigors of grad school (yes - I did it too - M.A. and Ph.D. - in school from 1999 to 2010). It is rough on a marriage, on individuals. I know you are saying she won't talk to you, but you have to still try. Be patient, give her some space, but let her know you love her still. Regardless of how she treats you, you need to be consistent in the way you treat her, show her your maturity and resolve by being patient, respectful, loving, and supportive.
Second, even if she won't talk to you, communicate your feelings to her, tell her how you feel, how important you feel it is to come to any solution about your future together. Invite her to consider couples counselling, do everything you can do to save your marriage.
Third, stop posting personal stuff on-line. If it does come to divorce, any and every statement you have ever made WILL be used against you. Even the things you have said up to this point could be used to paint you in a bad light (you come on here asking for help and within two days you are already asking for advice about a divorce attorney - if I were her attorney I would conclude that that indicates you already had your mind made up and that even though you were acting like you wanted to save the marriage, it was all for show). Plus, though there has been some great advice given, and it seems that we all generally care about your situation, the MM crowd is probably not the best source of advice on this subject. You need someone who understands you and your wife and can provide adequate perspective of both sides. Find a close friend, a brother, a sister, a church leader, and talk to them privately. Maybe get your own counselor, someone to help you deal with the emotions and sorrow. But, it should all be private. The more public you make this, the worse it will get for both of you. All you end up doing is forcing each other's hand.
That being said, I feel for you brother! I will keep you in my prayers. You need them. If you want to chat privately about this, drop me a PM.
HOOK 'EM!
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Since I am frequently asked about my religion on this site and others, I have created a profile that explains my beliefs. If you are interested in finding out more about my faith, please visit the link below:
http://mormon.org/me/6RNQ/
