You might be a hunter if...

[dutch]

YOU MIGHT BE A HUNTING ADDICT IF....
* if you think the 4 seasons in the year are deer season, rabbit season, waterfowl season and turkey season.

* if you cheered for the hunter when Bambi's mother got shot.

* if your favorite cookbook is '101 Things to do with a Dead Duck'.

* if your favorite color is blaze orange.

* if you know how old your dog is but haven't got a clue how old your children are.

* you go out in your backyard in the summer to practice your stalking skills by seeing how close you can to the dog or cat without them seeing or hearing you

* You spend 50% of your time when watching TV on the hunting channel

* you start talking about elk/deer season in Feb. even though the seasons are not until the Fall.

* over the year, the 3 times you talk to an old friend out of town you ask them if they are coming down to go hunting or what tags they drew.

* your kids are always whining about not being able to play the x-box because your playing Cabela's Deer Hunt 2005

 

[Pappabull]

Your up a tree with a bear trying to chew on your butt.

 

[antlerrick]

Your in the doghouse, and the wife is chewing on your butt, from talking hunting tooooooo much!!!

 

[BeanMan]

If your Wife is mad at you because you discovered that the hinge on one of the kitchen cabinets can be made to sound like a bugle...and you did it over and over and over.

BeanMan

 

[driftersifter]

If you are divorced, and didn't miss her till New years day.

Your child support and hunting budget are equal.

Your divorce attourney cuts yopur bill in half if you guide him this fall.

If over half of your hunting group is divorced. Mine is 5 outta 8
with one guy being divorced twice, oops two guys.

The only time you wash the inside of your truck windows is the day before deer season.

Your exwifes leather purse becomes your possibles bag.

Your video library contains more hunting videos than childrens movies.

 

[Paul_Crawford]

Your huntin' rig costs more than your house.

You fondle your huntin' rifle more tenderly than your wife. pc

 

[Chef]

Got these off of here several years back. I always love these.


Your wife and kids use the terms "140-class" etc., instead of BIG DEER!

Your wife notices that your smile in the photo with the buck you shot is bigger than the one in the family photo.

You watch BAMBI with your kids and think his father was a 150 class buck and would be proud to have shot him.

If your kids as toddlers learned real quick to count to 9 because the Big'un over the mantle has 9 points. But they count,G-1,G-2.....

If you have ever tried to score the racks on Santa's deer

You've ever felt a pile of droppings to see how warm they are;

Are legally blind but can hit a quarter at 40 yards

You can field dress a deer faster than you can change a baby;

It kills you to get up at 6:00 to go to work but you pop out of bed at 3:30 to go hunt.

You constantly estimate the range to everything

You can't stand cleaning dog poop up out of the yard; but have ever picked up deer poop and squished it between your fingers to check for freshness!!

You don't want to take the trash out because it is too cold, but you will go hunting when it is 10 below

If 240gr@2200fps-22?BBL-.444M means anything at all to you (or can even read this for that matter).

You've ever been wind burned, frozen and sunburned all on the same day

You get pulled over for drunk driving when all your doing is looking for deer



Chef
"I Love Animals...They're Delicious!"

 

[dutch]

Chef, those are great! I love the last one especially, reminds me of a buddy of mine and we were doing the same thing. He almost went off a damn cliff then swerved so far over we went off into the ditch and got stuck in about 2 foot of snow for about 2 hours. What ticked us off was not getting stuck but spilling our beers! lol
dutch
" Man who excels at putting worm on hook is Master Baiter"

 

[star]

The priest blesses you w/ a holy water camo bucket.Even you camo paint your hunting rig tires so the game wont see you comming.You rinse your mouth w/doe pee...lets go hunting !!!

 

[girlbowhunter]

Driftersifter yours are the best, but all you guys made my day! Thank you!!!!!!!! Whats with guys with 2 divorces?

 

[dutch]

Wouldn't have to get divorced if it wasn't for 99% of women. ;o)
dutch
" Man who excels at putting worm on hook is Master Baiter"

 

[girlbowhunter]

LAST EDITED ON Oct-14-05 AT 11:39AM (MST)[p]I think of myself as one of those 1%.But how many guys want to hunt with a girl all the time. And whats with this: On my Elk hunt I was the only one not camping in a trailer, camping in the back of my truck and the only one hunting alone. It just seems like guys have to hunt with your buds and dont want to share that. I guess it would be nice to have someone help call and help pack out etc. But I like how quiet I can be and I think it bother me if someone screwed that up. As far as marrige that is a foul taste in my book. Why do it twice. I know I wouldnt do it a second time , once was enough. Like my grandmother use to say: I steped in it twice and it stunk so bad Id never do it again. And no Im defenintly not homely, there are are a few people on this web that know that. >>>>>>>>>>Sharlin

 

[dutch]

I can agree with you, if my wife hunted I'd love to go hunting a couple of days with her, but I guess growing up it was just always guys hunting. Seems like with women around you just can't cuss, fart, belch, etc. Well I guess if it was my wife I could.
Definitely agree with you on the twice thing, I'd never get married again if this one would ever fail (knock on wood and hope it don't!)
I definitely give you credit for hunting alone, hopefully you'll find some hunting buddies!
dutch
" Man who excels at putting worm on hook is Master Baiter"

 

[girlbowhunter]

Thanks for not taking me the wrong way.Grew up up in mans world all my life so cant comprehend the whole thing. Sounds like your wife and I would get along great. Thanks for the reply,>>>>>>>>>>Sharlin

 

[driftersifter]

One of the guys with two divorces is my brother and the other guy is one of our best hunters. He devotes a lot of time to hunting. His kid is gonna be a good hunter too, spends every weekend with dad. I have been divorced 17 years,mine came during hunting season. Right now I'm dating an anti hunter, she thinks deer should have guns. We went for a walk the other night and she wanted to let the air outta some Bear hunters rig.
Ya we have some pretty loud discussions.
driftersifter

 

[girlbowhunter]

You know driftersifter I did get a good laugh but cant beleve any women is worth that kida abuse. Same kinda thing happened to me the other nite my stepmom and dad are antihunters. I just went though a divorce and am receiving my third. { WHAT an ass I am!} So the ask me what is your goal so being truthfull I preceded: I want to live in the woods, be able to hunt and fish out my front door, I also want to butcher my own meat and grow my own garden. Her reaction was : why cant you just go to the store and buy your meat like we do! I laughed and said someones gotta kill it and I can. I got a hang up and dont think Ill being from them and dont really care . Ignorance is bliss! HE! HE!

 

[driftersifter]

I agree with you, mostly she and I agree to disagree. I am better off not talking about it. There are certain times of the year when I just can't shut my mouth though. Wed nite I had the best whitetail hunt of the year so far, I had snuck up to within 25 yards of a shooter and then got busted by an unseen doe and missed my first chance of the season. I waited about 15 minutes and tried him again and got within 45 yards and got busted by one of three smaller bucks that were with him. I saw 4 bucks and 6 doe on my property. Such a rush with nobody to share that with at home. Naturally I called my bro and gave him the detailed account. she overheard part of the ordeal And I got the hot tongue and cold shoulder, at least she doesn't perfume my clothes or something. I took a vacation day from school monday, I'm not sure if the vacation was from the kids I teach or the women that preach. The Bucks are rubbin and starting their scrapes around here so I'm off.
I also will hunt the Minnesota deer shotgun-muzzleloader season. I'm not married so the worst to fear is a garage sale while I'm gone. lol
you can pm me if you want some advice on how to survive the anti's amoung us.

driftersifter

 

[girlbowhunter]

Dont have your PM. mine is [email protected] still cant understand why anyone would date an antihunter? I wouldnt date someone who didnt live and breath like I do. I guess its the chalange for you guys. Playin with fire. Sharlin dont have a computer at how right now so dont get on to much, the boss is always playing.