HikeHunt61
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Concerning New “Hunting” Trend Exposed
As shed hunting hits an apex of interest with emasculated hunters around the west, a new and growing obsession is unnerving game managers. Poo hunting is the latest in a trend of activities where frustrated hunters find ways to show their skills in the wilds. Josh Doolittle, a self-described Poo Hunter, sets the stage: “Elk droppings are becoming highly sought after. I personally collected 100 buckets of elk poo from calving areas early last summer.” When asked what he does with all that “crap”, Doolittle bristles at the term. “Listen, elk poo droppings are, like way cool. Of course, you gotta know good poo from so-so poo-poo.” Holding his hand out, he offers a varied collection of droppings for inspection. “See this one- the large off brown one in the middle? It’s perfect for Dung Necklaces. The best specimens go for 2 bits. Now, this one over here, it’s still not cured. Notice when I lick it that the moisture stays outside rather than being absorbed?” After cleansing his pallet with a swig of Miller Lite, Doolittle continues. “These smaller grey ones are perfect for Elk Coffee. They crush into a nice powder and work perfectly in most brands of coffee machines. I like to mix mine with regular coffee grinds. You should see the look on my friends faces when I let them know why that Cup’o Joe is so aromatic!”
Game managers in states like Utah, Utah and Utah are getting ahead of this growing outdoor activity. Brigham Ballbuster, a long-time warden overseeing the Basin district, shares the rationale. “With 100,000 shed hunters harassing game animals just minutes after an antler is shed, we have serious concerns about Poo hunting.” Ballbuster, clearly frustrated, shares an example of the issue: “We caught this one dude, wearing a flat brim hat with a Hunt Expo decal still attached, chasing deer holding out a Kuiu tumbler. When we asked him what the H-E-Double Toothpick we was doing, he informed us he was gonna get those droppings before the other guys do. Straight from the deer’s butt- that’s what he said.”
UPDATE: At publishing time, we have been informed that Utah has established a New Crappy Season. Not to be confused, of course, with their other hunting seasons.
As shed hunting hits an apex of interest with emasculated hunters around the west, a new and growing obsession is unnerving game managers. Poo hunting is the latest in a trend of activities where frustrated hunters find ways to show their skills in the wilds. Josh Doolittle, a self-described Poo Hunter, sets the stage: “Elk droppings are becoming highly sought after. I personally collected 100 buckets of elk poo from calving areas early last summer.” When asked what he does with all that “crap”, Doolittle bristles at the term. “Listen, elk poo droppings are, like way cool. Of course, you gotta know good poo from so-so poo-poo.” Holding his hand out, he offers a varied collection of droppings for inspection. “See this one- the large off brown one in the middle? It’s perfect for Dung Necklaces. The best specimens go for 2 bits. Now, this one over here, it’s still not cured. Notice when I lick it that the moisture stays outside rather than being absorbed?” After cleansing his pallet with a swig of Miller Lite, Doolittle continues. “These smaller grey ones are perfect for Elk Coffee. They crush into a nice powder and work perfectly in most brands of coffee machines. I like to mix mine with regular coffee grinds. You should see the look on my friends faces when I let them know why that Cup’o Joe is so aromatic!”
Game managers in states like Utah, Utah and Utah are getting ahead of this growing outdoor activity. Brigham Ballbuster, a long-time warden overseeing the Basin district, shares the rationale. “With 100,000 shed hunters harassing game animals just minutes after an antler is shed, we have serious concerns about Poo hunting.” Ballbuster, clearly frustrated, shares an example of the issue: “We caught this one dude, wearing a flat brim hat with a Hunt Expo decal still attached, chasing deer holding out a Kuiu tumbler. When we asked him what the H-E-Double Toothpick we was doing, he informed us he was gonna get those droppings before the other guys do. Straight from the deer’s butt- that’s what he said.”
UPDATE: At publishing time, we have been informed that Utah has established a New Crappy Season. Not to be confused, of course, with their other hunting seasons.
