Funny or embarassing

[PullMyFinger]

Type em up if you got em. I will share one-
Around 2003 I was in Southern Tardville with a guide. I had moved to Utah two years before this hunt. I was running a business and a full- time job so I decided that a guide trip would be ok. The Ex, lol, ( this didn't cause the split two years later) wasn't happy but didn't offer any ultimatum so I booked the trip.
On the first or second day of my hunt on that CWMU we pulled up to the edge of a big Safflower field at sammich eating time. I ate the good barbecue pork bagel hungrily.
There was a skinny, skinny strip of trees about 400 yards long to the right and only about 3 yards wide. I would have never believed at high noon that deer would occupy that narrow treeline. Everything else was open clear to a treeline about 800 yards away. After finishing my Cola I had the urge to release some pee.
I exited the truck and began my business. I had everything in hand except my rifle which I left in the truck .I was about finished as I saw movement about 150 yards away. I couldn't believe my eyes as two outlandishly big Bucks exited that narrow strip of trees. I finished the last two drops on my leg, and jumped to the truck. Too late for any shot including a hail mary when I raised the 7mm mag. I sat back in the truck, down in the mouth, and I was admonished for leaving my gun in the vehicle. I never saw those two again. I did see two similar bucks later that week but they were not on the draw property.
I let a 165" 4 point pass by on the third day as he was the biggest in a 9 buck bachelor herd but I was hell bent on a 180" or bigger. On the last day I shot a mgmt buck . ?
Lesson learned.

 

[HuckleberryHound]

I also got caught with my dick in my hand. First time i ever tried blowing on a predator call. Tested it out for a few seconds, realized i had to take a leak pretty bad. Didnt think anything was going to happen anyway. Set my gun down and started pumping the bilge and sure as hell about got run over by a coyote running at me about a hundred miles an hour. He hit the brakes and we both just looked at eachother for a second, both feeling pretty stupid i imagine. Lesson learned for both of us.

 

[Lhedrick1]

Ahhh. The infamous caught while jiggin the worm. There I was standing in front of a tree with a nights full of beer, bourbon and God knows what else overflowing in my bladder. It was a couple hours before daylight atleast and I was still pretty well lit from the nights festivities. Probably hadnt even slept a wink. Anyways so I let er fly and I've got a solid stream goin so much so that I can feel it spraying back on my legs and feet. So I back up a step and suddenly hear a scream. The lights flip on and there are my buddies parents crawling out of bed yelling obscenities. I turn back to the tree and see a dripping ficas tree in the corner of their bedroom. I left a dribble trail down the hall to the bathroom. I was never invited back

 

[Desertdeer]

I bought a fancy new electronic caller for coyotes. First time I took it out I made a couple mid day stands. No action so I stood up stretched and took a leak. Then I walked to my caller to pick it up. Halfway there I sat down on a rock and started scrolling through all the sounds. After about 50 different sounds I looked back toward the tree I leaned my rifle on and locked eyes with a coyote. He could have peed on my rifle. He walked away like he didn't have a care in the world and I kicked myself for days

 

[OutdoorWriter]

This is an exerpt from a longer message I had posted elsewhere:

As for personal experience, I shot just over the back on the only bull I actually had a chance to draw on during my only archery elk hunt in Unit 7 in the early 1990s. I had guessed the range at 40 yds. but Corky Richardson, who was next to me, said it was closer to 50. So I held high with my 40-yd. pin and that's where I shot.

The stalk leading up to that shot was kinda of funny. In fact, afterward, Corky, my hunting buddy and I couldn't stop laughing.

The bull was with a herd of cows and calves in the middle of a big meadow about 200 yards from the woods. So my buddy waited in the trees while Corky and I crawled across the meadow on our bellies to reach the only decent size tree -- a 3-ft. tall pinion. About 1/2 way there, we looked up and saw a cow and calf headed directly toward us. So we buried our faces in the grass and laid perfectly still for what seemed like an eternity. We could literally hear the crunching of their hooves as the two elk passed within a mere few FEET of us. They then walked into the trees, passing within feet of my partner, who had been watching it all unfold. He said if Corky had rolled over he would have been stepped on.

And later -- when I returned to the unit to hunt the last day of the season -- I had an even funnier thing happen as a nice 6x6 and I tried to stare each other down for at least a minute at 5 yards apart. And I even had a cigarette in my mouth at the time!

I had driven up the night before, parked in an area where I could hunt right there and spent the night under my camper shell. The next morning, I had two cups of coffee from my thermos before it got light, then unpacked my gear and got ready. While I was still standing next to the truck, I let loose with a bugle and got an immediate answer from a bull that probably was less than 1/4 mile away. BUT, the wind was terrible, blowing right from me to where he was.

I decided to skirt around and approach him from the side, get close and then cow call. So I detoured to the left about 200 yards and followed the edge of treeline to where I thought I was at least even or slightly behind him. Then I began moving back to the right. I hadn't gone 30 yards and just stepped out from behind a pinion when the bull did the same from the other side of the same tree! At this point, the wind was blowing in my face. The bull stopped dead in his tracks and so did I -- with cigarette dangling from my lips, my bow at my side and every arrow neatly in its place within the bow quiver. There we stood -- staring at each other. Doh!!! Now what??

First thing I did is gently spit the cig to the ground and move my boot on top of it. Next, I started to slowly bring the bow in front of me without raising it so I could maybe get an arrow out of the quiver with my other hand. So far, so good. But just as I finally pulled the nock end of the arrow loose from the rubber dealie, the bull decided to take two steps forward and stop behind another tree. Then as I got the arrow all the way loose and started to put it on the string, he moved again, this time getting more parallel to me. Two more steps, and he now had the wind in HIS favor. His eyes suddenly got really big, his nostrils flared and his neck hair appeared to stand erect. Within a second, he was 100 yds away in the meadow. I cow called and stopped him, though. He looked back at me, and I could swear I saw his head shake like he was saying, "No way, pal. I already know what you are."

 

[desperatehills]

I have plenty of embarassing and funny stories but I have this one friend that his failures are so incredible I won't waste your time with mine.

One time while hunting javelina he did a long stalk down the mountain leaving his friend behind the spotting scope to watch. The friend watched him get close, draw his bow, shoot and the javelina scattered. Not knowing if he hit or not the buddy hiked down to him. There he stood with his bow in a pile of pieces. He had been looking for his arrow but couldn't find it. His friend that had been watching told him to count his arrows...yup, the quiver was full.

Fast forward one year. same guy stalks within bow range of a mule deer buck with the same friend watching from above. With a arrow nocked this time he draws back and as he settled the pin on the deer his release slides over his hand and follows the string smacking his forward hand and the arrow landing halfway to the buck. Last I heard he was shopping for a new rifle.