My kids are 14, 10 and 8 - I have a ton of these.
Two of my favorites though came from my daughter (now 10). When she was in 1st grade (6 yrs. old) I told her that the word "vegetarian" was a native american word that meant "poor hunter". Well, she goes to class and a little girl from India in her class announced to the class that her family were all "vegetarians". The teacher asked the class if they knew what "vegetarian" meant. My daughter immediately raised her hand and the teacher called on her. Here was her answer:
"Vegetarian is a native american word that means "poor hunter". We aren't vegetarians because my daddy kills stuff all the time." Then looking at the little girl she said "I am sorry your dad is a poor hunter, maybe my dad could kill something for you guys!".
Let me tell you - THAT was a fun e-mail to reply to! Especially because the teacher sent it to my wife and she made me explain it.
I also shared with her my dislike for undersized dogs and told her that chihuahuas were really just big rats that looked like dogs. So her 1st grade teacher one day shows them pictures of her 3 little dogs - chihuahuas. Teacher asks the class "Who knows what kind of a dog this is." Bailey raises her hand and says:
"Oh that isn't really a dog. My daddy says they are really just a big big rat that looks like a dog. We have some rat poison at home. If you have a problem with these things maybe my daddy could let you have some of the poison!"
Oh yeah. Another FUN FUN FUN e-mail to answer and a mad, mad, mad, little girl to apologize to!
She has since learned a lot more about the finer points of sarcasm and hasn't said anything that would get her in too much trouble, at least not anything she has repeated from me.
One time my youngest son overheard his uncle make a comment about "two cubs fighting in a sack" but didn't totally understand what it meant. One day in church though he was describing what he thought a battle scene must have looked like and said "I'll bet it was worse than two cubs fighting in a sack!" Yeah, fun conversation with a rather well-endowed primary teacher who had obviously heard that line before.
My wife has learned to just shake her head and walk away.
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Burnin' up don't know just how far that I can go, soon be home only just 4 downs to go, I can make it I know I can! You broke the boy in me but you won't break the man! I can see a new horizon blazin' on the Mile High. I'll be where the eagle's flyin' higher and higher! Gonna be your man in motion, all I need's my Broncos team take me where my future's lyin' Tim Tebow's Fire! GO BRONCOS!
HOOK 'EM!
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Since I am frequently asked about my religion on this site and others, I have created a profile that explains my beliefs. If you are interested in finding out more about my faith, please visit the link below:
http://mormon.org/me/6RNQ/