canyonwell
Active Member
- Messages
- 351
Snappy Answer #1
>
>A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
>As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened
>his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I
>need to see your ticket,
>not your stub."
>
>
>Snappy Answer #2
>
>A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
>but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
>"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
>they're
>dead."
>
>
>Snappy Answer #3
>
>The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
>rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
>The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop
>Finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
>
>
>Snappy Answer #4
>
>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
>reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of
>him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
>Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets ! out of his car and walks
>around
>to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,
>huh?"
>The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
>gas."
>
>
>Snappy Answer #5 - THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
>
>A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
>class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
>might
>consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a
>death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses
>whatsoever!"
>A guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would
>you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual
>exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and
>snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically
>at
>the student, shakes her head, and! sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have
>to write the exam with your other hand."
>
>
>Snappy Answer #6 - One 6 Year Old.
>
>One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three
>Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the
>first
>pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She
>read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of
>straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build
>my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you
>think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he
>said... 'Holy crap! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach
>for the next 10 minutes.
>
>
>
What the heck, I'm on a roll.....
Steve shooting to beat Bura's # of posts.....
Canyonwell....
>
>A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
>As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened
>his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I
>need to see your ticket,
>not your stub."
>
>
>Snappy Answer #2
>
>A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
>but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
>"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
>they're
>dead."
>
>
>Snappy Answer #3
>
>The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
>rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
>The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop
>Finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
>
>
>Snappy Answer #4
>
>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
>reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of
>him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
>Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets ! out of his car and walks
>around
>to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,
>huh?"
>The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
>gas."
>
>
>Snappy Answer #5 - THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
>
>A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
>class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
>might
>consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a
>death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses
>whatsoever!"
>A guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would
>you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual
>exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and
>snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically
>at
>the student, shakes her head, and! sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have
>to write the exam with your other hand."
>
>
>Snappy Answer #6 - One 6 Year Old.
>
>One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three
>Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the
>first
>pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She
>read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of
>straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build
>my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you
>think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he
>said... 'Holy crap! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach
>for the next 10 minutes.
>
>
>
What the heck, I'm on a roll.....
Steve shooting to beat Bura's # of posts.....
Canyonwell....
