SOOOOOO....I do have a hunting story to tell but not the one I expected/wanted! I did NOT get a bull, I'll start there. This is the story:
I knew there were omens as soon as a realized my female hunting partner said she'd meet at camp at 9...then after I'm on the road with my original buddy (who ended up joining because he was concerned about the gal being whack) I find out she meant 9 PM...as he and I made a wrong turn and was heading back to correct road, he sees a strange sight. An abandoned house had standing on the front porch no less, a female elk chewing cud and swaying looking crazy. We go on to set up camp, I set up a tent for the gal so she didn't have to at 10pm. She arrives, eats and we all get ready for opening day.
Opening day: The gal wakes up, smokes a joint, and commands my buddy and me to glass "ovetr there" while she glasses another area. He and I walk to the spotand she leaves. We wondered out loud what happens if someone sees a bull...without a gun in hand??? Then we hear shots and realize we are wasting time and she supposedly scouted the area already so WTF? He and i went back to camp to get gun when she comes from the direction we were just at screaming, "where the **** were you??? I saw A BULL and was yelling to find you and I couldn't!" My bud and I looked at each other in disbelief and I said "if you saw a bull and you are screaming he aint there anymore, clown." She angrily changed into warmer clothes and told me to come with her alone to find it. Bud had to stay behind she said. I followed her while she led through deadfall etc. We sat down and then heard noise. She hissed "get your goddamn gun up". I ignored her seeing that any shot I'd make would be a mistake in that dense area and I didn't know what I was shooting at yet. Sure enough, a cow ran by mewing about 10 yards away but...it was a COW. No bull. No bull running after her either lol. We left and went on while this woman still acted disrespectully and annoyed with me. I sat her down and said "No one talks to me or my friends the way you have been and it's gonna stop right now or you go home." She asked "Do you want to know why I'm frustrated?: I said "No I don't. You don't talk to me or my friends like that no matter what your beef is. I am annoyed with you too and you don't hear me talking to you like that. No excuse."
She apologized to my friend and that evening we sat where she "saw" the bull as if he'd come back for dinner at 6 with obviously no luck. I got the impression she never hunted an elk in spite of her many stories and felt this was a bust. I told her after tomorrow morning's hunt, I'd try with my other buddy and give him a chance too. She was fine with that.
Day two: I get up as instructed at 5am. I'm dressed, have my coffee, ready to go, waiting for the gal to get her act together. By 6am she is ready to go. She showed the Onyx map of our route saying it was only one mile and we'd get there by 730am. I was fine with that. I did not know she didn't factor in gain/elevation in her calculations. Mind you, I had a hip replacement last year and almost twice this gal's age.
Slippery aspen leaves, tons of deadfall, STEEP declines and inclines and an hour later I realize this was like 4 miles and that she just calculated point to point like the crow flies, not actual distance travelled. I was pissed and thought my orthopedic surgeon would NOT be happy to know I did this crazy of a hike with pack and loaded gun 10500 altitude. My leg began to not work and so I slowed down. She complained that we would "miss our chance" and I pointed out there's no way we'd get an elk out of there even if we found one without a ******* military helicopter. We got to the point she wanted, sat down, waited for nothing and went back. By the time we got back, my buddy was frantic and furous with her. She went to bed after 3 joints midday while we talked. I said I'd pull the plug on her. When she woke up I told her I knew my limitations and her method wasn't working or safe for me and I'd stick with my original buddy. She left in a huff and we took pics of her taillights with joy. Then I got a dozen texts from her blaming me for our mishaps and her autism was also to blame. I wrote her that this was a hunt not a rehab for autism and I was done with her.
Day 3: My buddy and I hunted in the morning and evening and I learned way more from him in that short time, even though we saw no elk (saw a whole bunch of turkeys right in front of us but no tag lol). We enjoyed the scenery and hikes that were SAFE for folks with hip replacements but still challenging. We celebrated camp with bratwursts. We met up with other hunters who said no luck for them either.
Day 4: Freezing rain with inches of accumulation adding up fast. We broke down camp ASAP and hightailed it out of there, roads already mucky and squirrely. Stopped for green chile cheeseburgers and ran into an outfitter with a bull in his truck, I told him I was jealous but learned a lot about what NOT to do on an elk hunt. He said not to let this experience ruin it forever and to never give up...we high-fived and I realized I hiked and hunted harder than most people in spite of the craziness of it and that I was now an elk hunter after all
Photo is the spot I hiked like crazy to get to...you tell me how to get an elk outta there (in freezing rain if it takes more than a day to pack out?)