lets tell a story

Then in walks Kali Cat a catfight in the makings with the smell of fish. It must be that of the invisible fish. Everyone could smell them not knowing where they were Bobcat sniffs the air and
 
Points to the quad sitting outside and yells: "that's the quad that help shoot the Nomad buck! I'm gonna give 'er a tune up!" He grabs a bottle of KY Jelly and starts...

Michael~All Gods creatures welcome... right next to the mashed potatoes and gravy.
 
LAST EDITED ON Dec-02-05 AT 09:53PM (MST)[p]greasing up the breaks on this outlaw wheeler in hopes that the driver will plummet off of a clif. After greasing up the rig, bobcat stares longingly into the jug of KY and starts daydreaming about that time at band camp when......
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Eric
 
c'ASS ASKED oldoregon IF HE KNEW WHAT 'KY' STOOD FOR,OLDOREGON IMEDIATELY REPLIED ,SAYING HE KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING BUT c'ASS CALLED HIM ON IT,c'ASS WAS STILL WONDERING IF THE RECORD BOOK BULL oldoregon's COUSIN KILLED WAS AS BIG AS HE CLAIMED IT TO BE,THEN c'ASS THOUGHT ABOUT THE BLONDE ON THE HORSE,THEN HE THOUGHT ABOUT THE CONDOM COMPANY IN ALASKA,THEN HE THOUGH ABOUT......


THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
That big buck that he'd seen the day before. Must've been a Boon & Crockett two point if he'd ever seen one. And he's seen a few. So the whole gang headed back up to the hills, started a big whiteman bonefire and danced like wild indians from "The Village (?). They all passed out from exhaustion and anticipation of the mornings hunt. They only had one day to fill their tags, and they weren't going to mess it up! The next morning...

Michael~All Gods creatures welcome... right next to the mashed potatoes and gravy.
 
in the pre-dawn darkness, as Chef was puttin the coffee on, everyone was asleep except Pred and girlbowhunter, who were in their tent still partying, singing SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY. As the whole camp started to stir, they could hear the sound of a flock of cranes overhead, and an elk bugle down in the valley. Everyone thought it would be a good day......
 
until they all awoke with explosive diarrhea. It seems that the previous night, C'ass had been mixing drinks for the group and "spiking" them with the jug of KY that had been left by the fire to melt. Fortunately, Pred and Girlbowhunter had their own stash of un-tainted firewater. The ladies may have been all liquored up but they still had enough wits about them to horde all of the toilet paper around the camp and sell it to the boys at a premium price. After a quick cup of Chef's "git your a$$ out of bed" coffee, the girls sobered up and were ready to hit the timber. Working their way past a dozen emergency latrines, they headed out. As they approached the crest of the first ridge, Predator turned to Girlbowhunter and said.....
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Eric
 
"Is it me or is Chef really good looking?"

uh....er...wait. I mean...

Girlfriend, let's show the boys how it's done. The crisp clean air was burning their lungs by this time. The elevation was taking it's toll on the two. By the time their legs were numb and their riflr slung shoulders tired, the unmistakable sound of hoofs hitting the dirt hard was heard in the adjacent finger draw. Adrenaline hit and the two were focused to...
Chef
"I Love Animals...They're Delicious!"
 
see what they expected to be the next state record step out of the timber at any moment..As they focused on the spot they expect to see the big bull come out they could hear what they thought was giggling!! All of the sudden out steps bura nut and potato whisperer holding hands as they stroll down the well marked elk trail. Bura looks up and see's the two girls and says..............
 
Woah Doggie!!What do you suppose their making all that noise for? Do you reckon they is anti hunters trying to draw us off gaurd. All dressed up like May West. In all my days I never figured I would
 
See this on one of my hunting trips. Lets get a closer look he says! Meanwhile, PolarBear and Kilowatt are glassing what seems to be a big coug.. I mean coyote. PB lines up the shot and BOOM! the cat, I mean yote drops like a rock. They approach their kill and Kilowatt pulls out that bottle of KY Jelly, looks at PolarBear and grins...

Michael~All Gods creatures welcome... right next to the mashed potatoes and gravy.
 
polarbear SAYS THATS ONE OF THEM 'BIG' COYOTES,ABOUT THAT TIME ONE OF THE ANTI-WOLF LOVIN TREE HUGGIN LIBERAL HIPPIE'S WALKS UP SCREAMING IN TEARS AND ASKS killowatt WHAT HIS PLAN WAS FOR THE KY.........


THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
Well that night back at camp, everybody was celebrating a successful hunt. Moosie beat the all time nipple-tweaking record, Bessy shot the new world record grizzley, C'ass finally got to drink legally and has given up the stuff. That KY really got to him. OO and his blonde buddy headed back up to their cabin in the woods guiding eachother to the honey holes. Kilowatt, PB, Rut, and everybody else had a great time, and headed back home...

I suddenly awoke, opening morning of my onceinalifetime elk hunt had arrive. I had had the worst dream imaginable, but I grabbed my gear, ate a quick breakfast and headed off to the area I'd previously scouted this last summer.

Michael~All Gods creatures welcome... right next to the mashed potatoes and gravy.
 
ONLY TO FIND THE AREA INVADED WITH MM MEMBERS,TUNED UP WHEELERS,BEER CANS,CROWN ROYAL BOTTLES(EMPTY OF COURSE)BY THIS TIME THERE WERE SOME SAD LOOKING FELLERS,SOMEBODY HANDCUFFED JACKMASTER TO A TREE BY THE FOOT,HE STILL HAD THE CUFFS ON HIS WRISTS,THE PINE TREE JUST WASN'T AS GOOD AS THE RED HEAD BACK AT HOME,BUT THE MORE HE LOOKED AT THE TREE THE MORE THE BARK STARTED LOOKING RED TO HIM,ABOUT THAT TIME HERE CAME.......

THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
But this time he Had his Nipples Pierced. Polar bear also noticed the Tatoo on his...


  • [*] -Moosie
~~If you're going to walk on thin ice, Ya might as Well DANCE !!
WALK the TALK, Or shut the HECK UP !!
 
Jack took one look at Moosie!! Then Jackmaster started chewing his foot off. And back home Bobcat, 257tony, and Browtine meet up for the hunt not in Utahs NE Region. Due to GPS cord's of Browtine they all end up back in Utahs NE region. With 257 eyeing the Nomad buck with long tines knowing the long tines of the Nomad buck is where the buck gets his good score. Bobcat finds the great buck in his sights! With about 2 lbs of finger pressure on a 3 lb trigger. Bobcat's paws and tail start to twitch. Unable to hold steady
 
Unable to hold steady, when Deerking jumps in front of Bobcat and yells "DON"T SHOOT! THAT'S NOT THE NOMAD BUCK, THAT's MOOSIES TATOO OF THE NOMAD BUCK!" Those high power optics can be deceiving. So it was with great relief.......
 
bobcat slipped his rifle back on safety,and turns to deerking and says "why the hell is moosie crawling around on all fours, necked with NOMAD BUCK tatooed on his butt?Shaking their heads they went over and started beating moosie with a stick,moosie
started to scream harder,harder that hurts sooo good,with that they turned and....
 
AND JACKMASTER FINALLY CHEWED HIS FOOT OFF,HE HEARD THE NOISE OF A FAMILIAR SOUND OF WHIPS & CHAINS & POSSIBLY SOME BONDAGE,HE KNEW IT WHEN HE HEARD IT,THEY LOOKED UP ON THE HILL & SAID WHO IS THIS JOKER LIMPING DOWN THE HILL,Moosie KEPT SAYING QUIT IT SOME MORE.......


THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
while Deerking was explaining how slow it was in the big buck department, so he was moonlighting, taking pictures for the magazine TATOO MONTHLY. That's his story and he's sticking to it. As JACKMASTER gets closer.....
 
.......meanwhile...at the other side of the mountain, Predator and Girlbowhunter ask themselves..."what is it with these guys and KY Jelly, whips, bondage, and giggling!"

Let's head back to camp and see what we can find to eat...

*wink*wink*
:)

Chef
"I Love Animals...They're Delicious!"
 
LAST EDITED ON Dec-06-05 AT 07:47PM (MST)[p]They get back to camp hoping to throw some groceries down their necks and all they find is Old Oregano butt nekked, tied up to a tree with peanutbutter, honey and twinkies smeared all over him.

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Eric
 
LAST EDITED ON Dec-06-05 AT 07:52PM (MST)[p]The ladies proceed to laugh their a$$es off and ask O-O, what the hell was he doing? He was baiting bear and wanted to kill one with his Old Timer pocket knife. However, he had not anticipated the ravenous appetite of the local chipmunks. They had nibbled the hell out of his.......
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Eric
 
...Wang

...Chung CD that he had just burned off the internet. He was hoping to play it later, when the moon was bright and the stars were shining. Kinda like they do in Texas.

He forgot that he also smeared peanut butter on that USB cable he had recieved from ebay. Now no one would believe that his intention all along was to...

Chef
"I Love Animals...They're Delicious!"
 
STALL,STALL & STALL SOME MORE,PICTURES OF THE BLONDE WERE PROMISED MONTHS AGO,THE GIRLS WERRE STILL LAUGHING AT HIM,SAYING,HOW IN THE HELL COULD HIS COUSIN KILL THE BIG WORLD CLASS TROPHY BULL IN OREGON BEING RELATED TO THIS WORK OF ART?
THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A FEW PICTURES OF O-O JUST FOR.........

THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
sh!ts and giggles. They were thinking that they could sell the pics to "Teeny Weenie" Magazine and make enough cash to pay for a de-luxe turtle hunting trip. While snapping a few pics, Pred asked O-O if he had just gotten out of the pool or was he just genitally challenged? After a few laughs and pics, the ladies got this strange look in their eyes and decided to...........
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Eric
 
Stroll on over to the Camp of MM newest edition BAM. We will for the story call him Bam Bam. Must be from all the elk he has missed!! He has only stuck 600 of them with a knife. Well at Bam Bam's camp. eelgrass, Bam Bam, And Ismith, Are watching over a Dozen Elk Decoys, Painted by none other then Ismith with Floresent Paint. Well they were bugling and out of the Trees came RLH. He was blazing away at a turtle decoy, Elk decoy, goose decoy left by Muzz. And a turkey Decoy left by some turkey hunter. Well all hell broke loose when RLH started making fun of BAM BAM's Elk Decoy. Then RLH made the Mistake of shooting Robo Deer left by the giggling girls that is when
 
RLH MADE THE FATAL MISTAKE,SHOOTING ROBO DEER SITTING ON A QUAD IN THE PRIMITIVE,THE LEO WAS PI$$ED,SHE WAS OUT OF HAND CUFFS SO SHE.............

THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
So she turned to girly and asked girly if she had any Blunt tipped arrows? Sure enough Girly draws down on RLH. And she bounces a blunt tip right off RLH's forehead. He is rubbing his forehead trying to get back up. He was realizing that even Robo Deer Decoys work well. About then Girly bounces one more blunt tip off his butt. That is when the Leo turned into a lion and prounces on RLH. Meanwhile in the back ground Bobcat was attacking the Four Wheeler for some unkonwn reason. He was taking the death grip on the Wheeler as if the Wheeler had gotten into his litter box. Then not knowing Low and behold here comes Bam Bam riding up on a 4 wheeler just to check out the situation wondering what the hey. eelgrass is wetting his pants from laughing and
 
And then Bobcat turns to Bam Bam! His tail twitching he is making a death stalk towards Bam Bam. About then Peter Pigion flys up and lands on the handlebars of the wheeler. Peter Pigion has a note straped to his leg. The note had PleaseDear's signiture on it. It turns out to be a pic of (Why men hide the Remote Control. That is when
 
Bobcats mind started drifting off to the e-mail he had received about the sweet Arizona hunting land lease.Man when I get home I'm going to dig that out of the computer's saved files ,he thought to him self,,oh life could be so good...And maybe RUT and RIMROCK would take on another gun..
 
that's when BAM BAM and RHL get into a discussion over who has killed the most big elk. It's never really settled, and as tensions mount, ktc breaks out a portable DVD player, Rut and Chef pop some popcorn, and everyone settles down to watch "Raging Raghorns". About half way through, polarbear notices Chef, Rut, and the giggle girls are missing! A search party is organized......
 
They are quickly found down by the creek. Chef and Rut are trying to put the move on the giggle girls, but it aint happening. Polarbear entices them back to camp with the offer to watch "Button Buck Fever", "the Outdoor Channel's Best Gut Shots", "Road Hunting, Mike Eastman Style" and Porky's. They all agree and head back to camp. When they got there they found KFC and Eelgrass...........
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Eric
 
They find Ktc eelgrass and Polorbear making GooGoo eyes at Hikchick. Who shows up at their camp dressed like she was going to Fredricks of Hollywoods Fashion Show. She is rambling away about RLH's pathatic gene pool isn't worth making up lies about killing elk. KTC eelgrass and Polorbear are wondering if her bad mouthing RLH makes her look any better!! Or if they want eat Popcorn and watch gutshot for the 100th time with Rut who is just comming down from pre rut status, and Chef who is cooking rat on the barbacue to go along with
 
LAST EDITED ON Dec-09-05 AT 07:39PM (MST)[p]the delicious beaver! Just then caelkhnter comes charging down the trail, hands all bloody yelling "I GOT ONE! I GOT A BIG ONE! A HUGE ELK!!!!" Everybody drops what they're doing and follows him back to the kill sight. When they all arrive sure enough there is the biggest elk any one had seen in years! 380 at least! Also there is the game warden and a team of surveyors, complete with transits and compasses. Well it seems caelkhnter killed his prized elk 4" over the unit boundry! ON THE WRONG SIDE! As the warden is writing the citation, everyone is depressed thinking what a sad ending to such a grand hunt!
 
LAST EDITED ON Dec-09-05 AT 11:38PM (MST)[p]But when nobody was looking, Polarbear made a little "adjustment" to the surveyers transit and it was then determined to be inbounds and legal! And there was much rejoicing! Yaaaaay!... But wait! caelkhnter had not knotched his tag! Crap! What to do? The Fish cop hadnt seen it yet, so bobcatbess steathfully reached over with his pocket knife that he uses for givin wheeler tire tune-ups, and knotches the tag just in time. And there is much rejoicing! Yaaaaay!..... The game cop then tore up the ticket and threw it on the ground. Predator stood up and wrote him a ticket for littering. And there was much rejoicing! Yaaaaaaay!.... All of the m?tley MM cr?e halued the magnificent bull back to camp where the promptly took care of it and made sure to cool it out properly. That night, they all feasted upon the bounty of delicious elk meat. And there was much rejoicing! Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!.... After a long night of celebrating, the cr?e awoke the next morn to dicover that the chipmunks, squirrels and a porcupine had eaten all of caelkhnters antlers! All that was left was a G 1 lying on the ground with tiny chew marks all over it. And there was no rejoicing! Boooooo!..... Meanwhile, on the other side of the mouintain, a little bird whispered in Littlefoots ear and told him of what had happened to caelkhnter's bull. Littlefoot felt so bad for him that he waited for everyone to fall asleep that night and snuck in to camp, like the tooth ferry, and placed a et of matching sheds under his pillow. Unfortunately, caelkhnter rolled over in his sleep and almost poked one of his eyes out! When he awakened, he was elated to find the antlers under his pillow! He ran out of the tent and alerted the rest of the camp of his discovery! And there was much rejoicing! Yaaaaaaay!.. After doing the happy dance, caelkhnter noticed.....
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Eric
 
Bessy setting off in the corner all by him self, head hung low. Caelhunter asked bessy what was wrong, and with big crocodile tears welling up in his eyes bessy replied, "I can't draw a tag to save my fleabitten life". Everyone whas quite indignent at this turn of events and decided to storm the Utah Fish and Game office. When the caravan of Yahama and Kawasaki 4-wheelers arrived at the Headquarters......
 
AND THE TEARS DRIED UP IMMEDIATELY!!!ALL THESE LAWBREAKING ATV'ERS WERE PULLING IN TO GET THEIR RESULTS!!!THEY GOT EM IMMEDIATELY,THERE WAS SHOT AFTER SHOT FROM THE .50 CALIBER,THE 600 GRAIN SLUGS WERE TAKING PISTONS OUT TWO & THREE AT A TIME!!!ONE GUY EVEN CALLED THE FBI & THEN THE DENVER DA,TOLD EM THERE WAS A TERRORIST ON THE LOOSE,JUST AS THE FBI SHOWED UP......

THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
Caelkhunter started to toss and turn his dreams changed from stomping hoofs to a nightmare!! Before the FBI showed up Caelkhunter not wanting to wake!! He felt a warm sensation in his bed. It was that of
 
Please !!! try to keep those tendancys contained to the greater Boise area.

Then out of the mist emerged Simon Cowell from American Idol (TM) & started the awards cerimony,
(spoken with british accent)

The most gender confused award goes to Woosie.

The best creative content award goes to Polarbear.

The........
 
the Boring award goes to B_F_E....... the ....


  • [*] -Moosie
~~If you're going to walk on thin ice, Ya might as Well DANCE !!
WALK the TALK, Or shut the HECK UP !!
 
AWARD FOR THE MOST HAND CUFFS & GIRLFRIENDS GOES TO YOU KNOW WHO,NO OTHER THAN JACKMASTER!!!

AWARD FOR THE MOST MENTIONED IN A THREAD GOES TO Moosie,BY THE WAY WHO IS Poosie???

AWARD FOR THE MOST POSTS GOES TO THAT TURTLE GUY,eelgrass!!!

AWARD FOR THE.........................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
The Award for most 4-wheelers bagged in one season Bobcatbess

The Award for most citations written on one hunt Predator

The Award.....
 
for having a blonde "lady friend" with an Adam's apple and big hands... Old Oregano
The award for most critters killed from a chute plane... C'ass
The award for the man with the most awesome job and past time... Littlefoot!
The award for the biggest goober.......
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AWARD FOR THE BADDEST OF RIGS,WAIT A MINUTE,WE HAVE A TWO WAY TIE,O-O'S BAD-ASS S-10 2 WHELL DRIVE & c'ASS'S RANGER WITH THE TOOL BOX!!!

AWARD FOR THE FASTEST TRUCK UP PARLEYS,Tony257,ktc & GJM!!!

AWARD FOR THE MOST SHEDS PICKED UP IN ONE SPRING,THAT DANG littlefoot!!!

AWARD FOR......................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
The best and most gun collection Cabela's no I mean Rimrock338
The Award for best e-mail pics Pleasedear
The Award for the worst E-mail pics Bobcatbess
And the grand Award for
 
The Award for most "ethical hunter"......well I guess we have no winner this year!

The Award for the only MM member ever investigated by Homeland Security.... BOBCATBESS

The Award for.....
 
SLUG FEST GOES TO B_F_E_ & Moosie!!!

SOUNDS LIKE schmalts WINS FOR BEING THE BEST DOCTOR,BOY IS Moosie GOING TO BE...........

THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
Happy he has extra money now that his vasectomy will be performed by me.
He will probably use the extra cash to buy........
 
Then got K.O.ed by BFE, while posing for Weight watchers promotional pictures, which in turn made BFE feel remorseful.

Thats when all the MM members in who-ville sat down & ate roast beast, then joined hands around the campfire & started singing the Christmas carol
"fallu-forest-fallu-doris"...........

which was interrupted by,
 
A NICE SHOW OF THE ALTAMONT CALLEDER GIRLS,B_F_E_ ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE THEM IN PERSON,AS Moosie REVIVED FROM THE 'KO' HE NOTICED B_F_E_ & 1/2 A DOZEN CALLENDER GIRLS HEADED INTO THE TENT ONLY TO .........................


THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
realize that he didn't stand a chance to get in at the Jelly FILLED DONUTS that were setting in the back of the REALLY BIG TENT, he....
 
END??? (NOT!!!)

HE TOOK ONE LAST PEAK OUT OF THE TENT BEFORE ZIPPING IT SHUT!!!

kingfish WAS ON HIS WAY IN WHEN HE CRESTED THE RIDGE AND LOOKED INTO THE MEADOW BELOW,HE'D LEFT KALI THINKING HE'D GET AWAY FROM THE SMOG & ENJOY SOME FRESH AIR BUT AS HE GAZED AT THE MEADOW BELOW HIM HE WAS WONDERING IF CHEECH & CHONG HADN'T BEAT HIM INTO THE SACRED PRIMITIVE,SECOND HAND SMOKE HOVERING EVERYWHERE,BOY WAS THE kingfish EVER MAD,HE'D HIKED 20+ MILES TO GET TO THE FRESH AIR AND FOUND HIMSELF WONDERING WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON IN THE VALLEY BELOW,HE FIGURED HE'D TRY & GET A LITTLE CLOSER TO THE NOISE COMMING OUT OF THE TENT WHEN HE TRIPPED OVER AN EMPTY BEER CAN,FELL DOWN & GOUGED HIS WEATHERBY & BROKE THE LEUPOLD SCOPE,NOW NOBODY HAD EVER HEARD THE kingfish CUSS MUCH BUT.......................................................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
But when he heard the chainsaw of Quadzilla blazing a trail and looking at his Leupold. He was hotter then May West was in her prime. That is when he decided to
 
run nekked through the pines yelling THE END,THE END, all the way up the ridge it was THE END,THE END untill he came to a large stump, he jumped up on the stump,flung his arms out and yelled THE END,just then he looked down on his chest and noticed a little red light that came to rest on his hart.and with that....
 
HE KNEW THERE MUST OF BEEN ANOTHER KALI HUNTER IN THE AREA,(ONLY OUT OF STATERS DO THAT RIGHT???)HE DUCKED INTO THE PINES REAL QUICK & THEN PUT HIS EARS TO WORK,HE RECOGNIZED THE VOICE OF JACKMASTER SAYING:I KNOW IT WAS A TROPHY BULL,IT HAD TO BE,I SAW MOVEMENT,NOTHING MOVES THAT QUICK BUT A BIG STINKY BULL,kingfish WAS GETTING A LITTLE NERVOUS,THESE FELLOW KALI BOYS IN THE FIELD JUST ONCE A YEAR WITH FIRE ARMS WASN'T THE BEST FEELING HE'D EVER ENDURED IN THE PRIMITIVE!!!
IT WAS LIKE A PICTURE ONLY IMAGINED,HE'D NEVER SEEN THIS MUCH LAW BREAKAGE SINCE HE'D LEFT KALI A COUPLE OF DAYS EARLIER,THIS IS WHEN HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO DRAW THE LINE & ..............

THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
and did a hat trick and came up with a Cell Phone and called Txhunter58 who was hopeing everyone on MM was hot and bothered for looking at cASS's girl friend. About then he got a bonner and over the hill came Rimrock with his new MM award for being the most obnoxious. The two made eye contact and
 
RIMROCK said you poor lost soul,walk down this drainage to the trail at the bottom, turn right and follow it to the trail head.When you get there you will see a muddy brown jeep charekee.
Go up and pound on the window,the driver is taking a nap,he will be more than happy to give ya'll a lift or what ever you need.
With that RIMROCK turned and got back on the tracks of the Royal
bull he had been tracking,the tracks were kind of cold and they were heading up the ridge towards timber line,so off went RIMROCK
dubble timing it, (not quite a run but a fast jog)up the ridge,
he kept up this pace for about two hours untill he got up to 12000 feet elevation.then the bull began to slow down ((and everyone knows where this story is going))SO RIMROCK shoots the elk packs it out whole and cooks nummie liver bacon and onions for all his friends back at camp,they sure thought he was a swell guy and with that they all opened there wallets and pulled out stacks of green backs to renew there freindship dues.
 
If I nekked where would I carry a cell phone???? NEVER MIND!!! OK!OK!, it'S NOT the end.......

RIMROCK was glad to take their money and soon after picked up his banjo and started playing a very familiar tune. (The theme song from Deliverence)bobcatbess stood up and started struttin his stuff until RIMROCK asked him if he could squeal like a pig? cat's eye's got really big and a look of horror came upon his face as he looked around the campfire.......
 
and then back at RIMROCK, don't EVEN think about it said Bobcat!
With a grin RIMROCK said I aint,just wanted to put some fear at ya.good said bobcat I was bout to go into the trees and take a healthy Moosie.With that RIMROCK threw a roll of TP to bobcat and said make sure you wipe your B_F_E real good, we don't need you drawin flys around here anymore and dont be spankin your rutinbuck, you have to break that bad habit.After about an hour of what sounded like a cow trying to give birth to a breeched calf bobcat came back in camp and sat down.RIMROCK had just opened a tall neck and took a few swigs.Bobcat looked thursty from his ordeal so RIMROCK handed the beer over to him and said you don't even need to wipe the top off.bobcat chugged about half the bottle and went to hand it back to RIMROCK.That's ok go ahead and finish it said RIMROCK but don't swallow the skoal I spit into the bottle, I'm out if chew and I need it for in the morning.Bobcat looked at RIMROCK and said what a pal I can't wait untill next years hunting trip and with that he tipped the bottle up and....
 
.....got all misty eyed. Bobcat then had a feeling rush over him unlike any other he had ever had. (Except for that time while climbing the rope in gymn class) Flush with emotion, he turned to Rimjob and said.....
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RIMJOB,THE BEER BEFORE YOU OPENED THIS LAST ONE IS THE EMPTY BOTTLE I PISSED IN,I GUESS AFTER YOU GET ENOUGH KEYSTONE IN YOU IT ALL TASTES THE SAME,WELL RIMJOB STARTED TRYING TO PUKE BUT COULDN'T,I'D NEVER SEEN ANYBODY QUITE THAT SICK,WELL HOW DOES bobcat WHIZZ TASTE THERE LITTLE BUDDY???
RIMJOB WAS DEATHLY ILL,HE THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT ELSE HE COULD DO TO bobcat BUT THEN HE KEPT THINKING ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES!!!
ABOUT THAT TIME Pred SHOWED UP &........................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
and seen RIMROCK/RIMJOB (it's your story too)Lying face up on the ground with festering blisters all over his neck and face the guy is almost dead.Pred opens her CSI bag and pulls out her minnie lab that she does field test with,she swabs some pus from RIMROCK/RIMJOBS face and puts it into a test tube, shakes it up and then says: Hmmmmm just what I thought BOBCAT WHIZ this man is as good as dead,put a fork in him he's done...
 
but then at the last minute Dr. Eelgrass shows up with the only proven antedote for bobcat whizz, one drop of turtle liver extract in a shot of Crown Royal. (do turtles have livers???LOL)

Within minutes RIMROCK is his old self, and eelgrass is giving him the lecture about hanging out with the wrong crowd once again. RIM is so greatful he offers eelgrass one hind quarter of the elk he shot, which eelgrass greatfully accepts.
 
As Dr Elgrass begins to leave he notices that he picked up some nails in his tires on the drive in and has FOUR flat tires. Pred immediately assures Dr Elegrass it is not a problem as she would be happy to give him a ride and he could load up the elk in the trunk of her trusty rented ford tarus. Just then.....
 
They pause for a second to notice the flowers and the trees that make up the Breeze!! That blows pretty girls dresses above their knees. Pred grabs for her skirt giggles and says
 
glances over to see if eelgrass noticed. Eelgrass quickly turned the other way, thinking to himself "thank God for scent lock undies!" Polarbear and Rut, who were hiding near by.....
 
were giggling like little girls because they saw Preds undies and really wanted a pair of their own. Polarbear stood up and yelled at Pred..........
 
Hey Pred Polarbear yelled. Do you have a spare pair of Sent-loc g-string type panties for rut. He needs to floss his teeth!! Ruts laid back against a tree with his feet up on a log!! His hat tipped down. He says Well I'll be a sons a bic#&!!! Sent-loc panties!! What will they think of next!! Pred grabs a big stick and takes after Polarbear down through the trees they go.
 
Pred WAS YELLING YOU SICKO'S,YOU PERVO'S AS SHE CLUBED EVERYBODY BUT bobcat IN SIGHT!!!
FIRST Polarbear HIT THE GROUND,THE rut WENT DOWN,THEN RIMJOB ATE THE DIRT,SHE KNEW THERE WAS A BUNCH OF SICKO'S IN THE MEADOW BUT THIS SENT HER INTO RAGE THESE BOY'S HAD NEVER SEEN,SAID SHE'D NEVER SEEN THIS MANY SICKO'S SINCE SHE'D LEFT THE CITY,TO TOP IT ALL OFF HERE CAME JACKMASTER AND...............................................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!
 
And HunterHarry who stroll up along side Bobcat. Who was instagating the whole thing acting like little Miss To Gooder. Knowing he was the Master Sicko Pervo of Altamont Calender Girls INC. But what he didn't know was Pred had traded the stick for a naily board. She snuck up behind Bobcat and wacked him upside the head. Bobcat was rubbing his head looking dumb founded!! Pred stood there with her hands on her hips. And she said How about that? She said don't just sit there and act like the good tooth fairy!! Or I will teach you the first meathod of flying when I knock you across the Meadow. Jack and HH were streaching leather for the timber when
 
Just about that time, old Polarbear turned to rut and rimjob and said...... Hey, I dont think that Pred had on Scentlock panties! Either she had Buckwheat in a leg lock, or she was going "comando"! That is when she went balistic and gave poor old Polarbear the "Rodney King treatment". The boys just sat around and laughed. Just as Polars lights were about to be turned out for the last time.................
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Eric
 
LAST EDITED ON Jan-01-06 AT 12:41PM (MST)[p]by the name of Canoe and Hawk33. Pred immediatly cuffed and stuffed them!(for driving a Chevy!)

Polarbears, being the toughest animal in North America, soon shook off his "treatment" and was none the worse for wear. And besides, CUTTHROAT caught the whole thing on video.
 
Polarbear awoke screamin "where's Johnny Cochring, where the hell is Johnny Cochring?!!!" Eelgrass said, uh, bud.... Johnny's as dead as Old Oregano's love life. Just then, someone piped up with "I know a hell of a shade tree attourney for you Polar, and his name is"..............
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Eric
 
....Give her a call, but I think that that "Buckwheat" comment will be hard to explain in court. Meanwhile, back at the camp.... Moosie, C'ass, Eelgrass and Bessy are gearing up for an evening of fun and games. They broke out the old Twister mat, but Eelgrass was wondering why Moosie was bringing out a tub of butter flavored Crisco. Bobcat thought that they were going to cook up some apple fritters like those calendar girls of his are so fond of. Eelgrass thought, maybe a fish fry. Nope, C'ass knew what it was for, and it involved the game Twister! Eelgass and Bobcat told the other two that they would not be participating in that kind of nonsence, but they would watch! Eelgrass asked that when they were done with the Crisco, if they could, indeed, have a fish fry? Moosie replied, why dont Eelgrass and Bobcat go find Polarbear and go catch us some fish for supper while C'ass and I play our "little game". With that the motley cr?e left to go find Polar and go fetch supper. As they made their way towards the creek, they ran into.........
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Eric
 
Deerking living under a rock ledge all covered in butter flavored Crisco. He said he was heavily invested in one of Moosie's real estate schemes. They forgot to figure in the vacancy factor of the apartments, so he lost his home, his computer and his camera. No end of the year poem this year!

As they continued on down to the creek......
 

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