lets tell a story

[kingfish]

The end!!! Not really, I just wanted to be post 200!! Ha!

 

[polarbear]

.... Bobcat tripped on ........
Are we gettin close to the longest post yet, or does the turtle one have it beat? Haahaaaa.....

Eric

 

[bobcatbess]

grass & c'ASS WERE INTO SOME SLICK MOVES,ABOUT THAT TIME JACKMASTER SHOWED UP & ASKED IF HE COULD PLAY & THEN......................................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[rutnbuck]

They said sure he took off his leotards and took his spin on the wheel of twister. Meanwhile kingfish as slow as he is!! Got the award for the 200th post. And if he hurries he won't get the 300th post. Meanwhile rutnbuck calls Rimrock/rim job and decides to meet him for coffee and plan an attack. The plan is to overtake the application process of the big game lottery of Utah. The plan is anybody?s name that is not on or has not posted in Lets tell a story will be eliminated from the draw process.
Rutnbuck is still trying to figure out what the heck happened to Rimrocks face. Looks similar to kissing disease.
Then 2006 draw stats come out Rutnbuck draws RM Bighorn and a Deer tag on No name Mt. Rimjob draws Bision. And

 

[bobcatbess]

RIMJOB PULLS THE BISON PERMIT BUT THEY FIND AN ERROR ON HIS APPLICATION & A BIG BRIBE ALSO,THE UDWR REJECTS HIS PERMIT SO QUICK HE NEVER KNEW HE HAD IT BUT NEXT IN LINE WAS bobcat & THEY CALL TO SEE IF I WANT THE PERMIT,YA BABY!!!
RIMJOB NOW THINKS THE DWR SCREWED HIM & rut SAYS:YA THEY DID BUT YOU DIDN'T GET A KISS,RIMJOB SAID QUIT IT,IT AIN'T FUNNY(EVERYBODY IS LAUGHING BUT RIMJOB!!!)ABOUT THAT TIME bobcat SHOWS UP & SAYS:YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO CALLED ME,YUP,THE DWR &.................................................


THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[RIMROCK338]

...ZIM, wich he tells bobscatbess that he will guide him on his bison hunt for a few grand.bobscatbess starts looking around the homestead to see what he can hawk to come up with the money when is eyes came to rest on the old pos truck in the driveway, hmmm...

 

[polarbear]

..hhmmmmmmmm.... I just can't bring myself to sell the old p.o.s.! It is where I got my first kiss from my first cousin. Ah, the memories! Wait an gosh darn minute! I can sell off some of my Liberace memorabilia. I said some, but not all! And with that Bobcat started rooting around through his mementos of old ?Libby? and trying to decide what to sell. Unfortunately, he was far too attached to the stuff to let it go, so instead, he decided to sell???.

Eric

 

[bobcatbess]

hMMMMM........
I COULD NEVER GET A FEW GRAND OUT OF THAT POS,BESIDES I'D LOOK FUNNY HAULING A BISON UP 70,THEN UP 191 ON TOP OF THE WIFES CAR BUT I MIGHT MAKE HISTORY,CAN YOU IMAGINE THE LOOKS & THE 'BIRDIES' I'D GET??? ABOUT THIS TIME bobcatbess WOKE UP FROM THE BEST DREAM EVER,KNOWING PULLING A PERMIT WAS WAY TO GOOD TO BE TRUE,MEANWHILE BACK AT THE TENT THINGS WERE GETTING VIOLENT.........................


THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[eelgrass]

LAST EDITED ON Jan-03-06 AT 06:29PM (MST)[p]Meanwhile,while Bobcatbess is trying to raise some money, Rut is attending his mandatory pre-hunt seminar for his RM Bighorn hunt. The wardens and biologists explain the hunt and some of the history of these fine animals. When "question and answer" time comes, Rut is the first to raise his hand! "Mr. Biologist sir? I have a question. Where do baby sheep come from?" A hush comes over the crowd. The biologist's face turns red, he walks over to Rut, holds his hand out and demands "Let me see your tag" When he gets it, the biologist tears it into a million pieces and drops it at Rut's feet! Rut walks out feeling dejected as the remaining hunters snicker.

Meanwhile eelgrass could be heard whooping and hollering because he drew the tag that Bobcatbess could only dream about!

 

[rutnbuck]

Rutnbuck leaves and regroups. Only to stumble into the worm eelgrass!! Eelgrass was doing cartwheels in the parking lot of the
D.W.R. Celebrating his new tag. Rut congratulates him on what a great tag he had and wishes him to kill a big one. Rut asks eel so where do baby sheep come from?? Eelgrass answers from Altamont where do you think he asked Rut. You might think they come from Bessie?s calendar girls!! Wrong Answer. Rut rips up eels tag into million little tiny pieces. Eelgrass and Rut start kicking cans across the parking lot. A big wind comes up and eelgrass notices a tag blowing across the parking lot with KTC Chasing it. Bobcat takes to hiding in the tent with Moosie. He knows no one will dare enter Moosie tent for a tag. He is thinking his tag is safe till season opens.

 

[rutnbuck]

But then Chef shows up and says well boys I am cooking chili for dinner. Everone says oh yeah. About a hour goes by after everyone eats. Eelgrass, bobcatbess, Moosie, BFE, Caelkhunter, Chef and Rimrock. All kicking back after a great meal. Well cAss walks in and notices Polarbear just sitting there gawking at his bowl of chili. cAss asks Polarbear if he isn't going to eat his chili? Polarbear replies nope. cAss asks Polarbear if he can have the last of the chili. Yup says Polarbear!! cAss is chowing down and gets down to the bottom of the bowl. He notices a dead mouse in the bottom of the bowl. Well cAss pukes back in to the bowl. And ol Polarbear says I was afraid of that. That is how far I got. Then

 

[bobcatbess]

c'ASS THREATENS TO SUE polarbear & Chef,IT IS THEIR FAULT RIGHT???Chef TELLS c'ASS YOU CAN'T GET MONEY OUT OF A Chef,MAYBE SOME MORE CHILI THOUGH,THEN HE ASKED c'ASS WHY HAVEN'T YOU FIGURED OUT WHY MY CHILI TASTES SO GOOD???
WELL c'ASS GOES POSTAL & THREATENS polarbear WITH A .............................................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[polarbear]

...wedgie, because, after all, C'ass is half Polarbear's size. Polarbear tells C'ass to calm down and finish his chili. C'ass replies, "but there is a mouse and puke in my chili". Yeah, says Polar, "but there is also a finger under that mouse"! If'n you aint gonna eat it, then run that bowl of chili into Wendy's and get us a couple million so we all can put in for special hunting permits!!!! C'ass, being naieve, cradles the bolw and heads to town. Chef asks Polar how did the finger get into his chili? Polar says that it isnt a finger, it is a chunk of tail from the possum that chef used for meat. Pretty soon it started to look, sound and smell like the "camfire scene" in Blazing Saddles. It was smelling like chili night on monkey island. Bobcat was really getting into it when he got this look of terror on his face. Yep, he had pushed too hard and "sharted" himself. On his way to the creek to wash out his britches.............

Eric

 

[rutnbuck]

He started prarie dogging. He was afraid to pass wind for fear of the worst. About then he got word from Polarbear that Kingfish had sliped a little / lot of ex-lax in the chili. Everyones mouths all droped all at the same time. Rimrock is about 6 paces ahead of everyone headed towards the outhouse. Only one roll of paper in camp. Rim decides to share and he is passing out squares at a quarter a peice. And off in the distance up on the Ridge eyeing the Valley of the Charmin Lilly. Was

 

[bobcatbess]

Pred,SHE'D ALSO ADDED SOME INGREDIANTS,THE CHILI HAD BEEN DOUBLE DOSED,IT WAS LIKE A CARNIVAL,KINDA LIKE A REVOLVING CIRCLE INTO THE OUTHOUSE,EVEN JACKMASTER WAS CUSSING,ABOUT THAT TIME Moosie TELLS B_F_E_ HE'D PUT SOME QUACKER MEAT IN THE CHILI,GUTS & ALL,YA TO TOP IT OFF HE SAID IT WAS A MUD DUCK,B_F_E_ LIT UP LIKE NO OTHER AND.............................................................


THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[RIMROCK338]

LAST EDITED ON Jan-06-06 AT 08:19AM (MST)[p]LAST EDITED ON Jan-06-06 AT 08:13?AM (MST)

...reached down and picked up a sixer of beer and started handing them out,he got to RIMROCK and went to hand him one and RIMROCK looked over at bobcat and then back at the beer,shanking his head he said,no thanks I'm trying to quit,bobcat yells over,smart guy! everyone turn the bottles up and within two minutes the six that drank the beer hit the ground going into the dieing quivers.Moosie came back from the trees and seen this
and....

 

[bobcatbess]

SAID:
THAT 6 PACK WAS FOR B_F_E_ WHERES HE AT???
RIMJOB LOOKED AT THE OTHER 6 ON THE GOUND AND SAID FOR ONCE HE WAS GLAD HE DIDN'T DRINK!!!TWAS THE ONLY TIME IN HIS LIFE HE'D TURNED DOWN A DRINK,FOR A MINUTE HE THOUGHT SOMEBODY ABOVE WAS WATCHING OVER HIM,ABOUT THAT TIME HE LOOKS OUT INTO THE MEADOW AND NOTICES JACKMASTER FOLLOWING A SHEEP WITH RED HEAD GEAR,A FULL LIP-CURL WAS IN EFFECT,NOW JACKMASTER HAD ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT HIS RED HEAD BUT RIMJOB WAS WONDERING IF HE WAS REALLY SEEING WHAT HE WAS SEEING,THEY WERE HEADED STRAIGHT AT THE TENT WHEN Moosie SAID WHOA,I DON'T.............................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[Canoe]

...like to admit that I am homosexual, but...

 

[polarbear]

...I am! And with a tweak of the nipples, he started singing show tunes and dancing around like Freddy Mercury on fire! Feeling proud to finally be out, Moosie turned to the group and said.............
ttp://www.hunt101.com/watermark.php?file=500/7931Avatar_5.gif

Eric

 

[eelgrass]

LAST EDITED ON Jan-11-06 AT 07:44PM (MST)[p]"At last I can go see Brokeback Mountain without wearing a disguise!" As everyone was cheering.......

 

[rutnbuck]

except Rackmaster. Because he looked up and seen Moosie walking off with the red headed sheep bound with teathers and a leash. That is when

 

[polarbear]

...C'ass grabbed a set of hobbles, a pair of hip boots and a jug of butter flavored Crisco and ran toward Moosie yelling "wait for me!" The rest of the camp just stood and stared into the fire, wondering ehat would possess a couple of fellers to do such dispicable acts. All of a sudden P.C. shows up with a ton of fresh beer and all thoughts of the fruitcake twins dissappear. Eelgrass starts helping P.C. pass out beer when he trips over Bessy's rifle that is leaning against his 4 wheeler and......

Eric

 

[eelgrass]

LAST EDITED ON Jan-12-06 AT 06:45PM (MST)[p]and there was an accidental discharge. But that was just Jackmaster thinking about those fishnet stockings and the red hair. The gun also went off sending everyone to the deck, and eelgrass was lying in a pool of 4-wheeler oil. Chef ran over and thinking it was blood, grabbed his apron to help stop the bleeding. Bobcatbess, who saw what actually happened, had a gleem in his eye, and told Chef to let it die. When Chef realized that it was eelgrass's 4-wheeler that took a direct hit, the drinking continued. Jackmaster was enjoying a cigarette when.....

 

[rutnbuck]

LAST EDITED ON Jan-12-06 AT 08:55PM (MST)[p]He looked over and Seen Bobcatbess in a daze from what he just seen. That and the fact of all that has happened. This is kind of how he felt

And then Rackmaster and eelgrass decide they are going to make things a little easier. So they installed

Then Bobcat started feeling a little better about himself

 

[bobcatbess]

YA,THEY THOUGHT I WAS IN A DAZE,I WAS ACTUALLY TRYING TO REMEMBER IF THIS WAS TUNE-UP # 3249 OR # 3250
I LOOKED DOWN TOWARD THE TENT JUST IN TIME TO SEE THE RED HEAD COMING OUT OF THE TENT WITH Moosie CLOSE BEHIND WITH A LIP-CURL IN FULL EFFECT,I ASKED JACKMASTER IF THAT WAS HIS RED-HEAD,I'D NEVER HEARD LANGUAGE LIKE WHAT WAS COMMING OUT OF JACKMASTERS MOUTH IN YEARS,HE SAID I'LL KI.........................


THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[mtmuley]

UNBELIEVABLE!!! I don't frequent the campfire often enough. The MM equivalent of Brokeback Mt. Sorry for the interuption. Please continue.......mtmuley

 

[rutnbuck]

And Jack said I will kill mtmuley for interuption in the story and Mtmuley rides off on his 4 wheeler with miss March headed to Brokeback Mt for old time sakes looking for his great friend

 

[bobcatbess]

AS SOON AS mtmuley GETS BACK OVER TO HIS MOUNTAIN HE'S BACK WITH HIS BOYFRIEND AGAIN & HE CLAIMS EVERYTHING IS PEACHY ONCE AGAIN!!!

I'D OF TUNED HIS WHEELER IN A NEW YORK SECOND,BUT B_F_E_ TOLD ME WE DIDN'T NEED THAT LITTLE QUEER WALKING AROUND IN THE MEADOW,HE ALSO TOLD ME HE DIDN'T WANT HIM/IT ANYWHERE NEAR THE TENT!!!

EVEN JACKMASTER WAS PI$$ED WHEN HE FOUND OUT mtmuley HAD ENTERED THE MEADOW,SO MAD THAT......................


THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[polarbear]

....he got his panties all in a bunch and b!tchslapped mtmuley so hard that he knocked the living old oregano out of him! Feeling rather frustrated, he proceded to.....

Eric

 

[rutnbuck]

look at the pictures in Zero-G Juggs to keep from going off the deep end. He glances up and notices

 

[Dmanmastertracker]

Royally Lame Hemorrhoid studying his English as a 2nd language book in the middle of the woods trying to make some sense out of.....

 

[rutnbuck]

the fact that if you take a totally ground up tom cat and place it in a quart bottle and place it out in the middle of the meadow!!! And let it bake in the sun for a couple of days!! It is more apt to draw a couple coyotes out of the trees along with

 

[eelgrass]

a wolf or two! That's when everybody noticed that Rut was missing. Rimrock said "Oh, I forgot to tell you. Rut is at the Golden Globe awards for his appearance on a hunting show. After he accepts his award, he has an interview with Tred Barta to appear on his show. And then an interview to be a contestant on Wanted Ted or Alive. And then he's off to try out for a leading part in the sequel to Brokeback Mountain. The name of it will be Saddlesore Canyon."

Thats when eelgrass noticed Dman sitting by himself off away from everyone. Eelgrass and Rimrock went over to see if there was a problem. Dman was so mad he could hardly speak. It seems Dman had put in for an LE tag and had gotten the results that very day. He opened up the envelope and it said SUCCESSFUL! CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE DRAWN A YEARS SUBSCRIPTION TO RUSH LIMBAUGH'S NEWS LETTER! Rimrock, being a compassionate conservative (or maybe because he had the only 4-wheeler that hadn't been "tuned" lately) offerd Dman a ride to help clear his head. Dman jumps on and off they go. About an hour later they come screaming past camp, dust justa flying! Dman is chucking out beer cans whoopin and hollerin, wearing a Ditto Head t-shirt! That's when Bobcatbess grabbed for his BMG and........

 

[Dmanmastertracker]

(LOL)-Couldn't find his powderhorn, so instead shout's Liberal-related profanities at the two as they speed around camp. Then Tred himself shows up and tries to grapple with Dman, Dman proceeds to knock the tuna out of Tred and ties him to the broke-back of the 4-wheeler and off speeds Rimrock again. Eelgrass then looks off in to the other side of the forest and who's there but Royally Lame Hemorrhoid, still reading his book, only this time he's reading bedtime stories to Opportunistically broke-back himself. Tired of this nonsense, Eelgrass strikes off in the opposite direction through the forest to look for.......

 

[Archer16]

His john Kerry Blow up doll that polar bear secretly gave him for his 52 birthday. As polarbear and eelgrass descend into the deep timber, they put on their earings, being sure that they didnt forget the vicks vapo-rub and their.......

 

[Dmanmastertracker]

-Tommy Hilfigger hunting camo. Eelgrass had his wing-tips on also, his hunting shoe of choice. While peering through the deepest part of the heavy timber they hear a strange sound, similar to a large outboard motor under water. Polarbear was alarmed to discover that it was none-other than Sonora, who had overdosed on the camp chili that afternoon and had chose to be by himself, rather than napalm the others. Sensing that no deer were to be found there, Eelgrass and Polarbear make their way to the top of THERIDGE when they see......

 

[polarbear]

LAST EDITED ON Jan-25-06 AT 05:37PM (MST)[p]
A secret place in the woods that no one else knows about. It is a well hidden cabin that is used exclusively by Zero-G-Juggs magazine for all of their "Juggies" to "get back to nature". Eelgrass and Polarbear have a standing invite from the ladies to join them for some "fun and games" and frolicking through the woods. As Eel and Polar are having the times of their lives playing Crisco Twister and hide the salami with the Juggies, they notice that someone from camp has followed them to this holyest of wholy spots. It is none other than.........

Eric

 

[caelkhnter]

It's none other than Caelk who exclaims:"how did we get to this boys!!I thought I had started on a story about a legit elk hunt and now we have every hemrhoid,rutnbuck,bobcat, etc chasing around these woods doing all kinds of things and it seems like it will never end." Just then....

 

[polarbear]

....Polarbear and Eelgrass decide to invite Caelkhnter to the party. They felt guilty for sabbotaging his post and wanted him to have a good time with the ladies. Everything was going along fine until (like a turd in a punchbowl) who shows up but the one and only......

Eric

 

[Dmanmastertracker]

-than Skunkterd, who shoves his his between the particular jugs Polarbear had designated for caelkhunter and blows a face fart with all his might. The juggs swayed too and fro so violently that it knocked Eelgrass off of his log and spilled his beer. This made Eelgrass so mad that he........

 

[RIMROCK338]

LAST EDITED ON Jan-25-06 AT 08:20PM (MST)[p]....Kingfish shouting THE END- -THE END, the end is here for all you sinners,with that he turned and headed back down the trail.
Caelkhnter turned to Polarbear and said;POOHBEAR,I'm tired of your game,you know the women left with eelgrass two hours ago!POOHBEAR looked into caelkhnters eyes and said;WOW how time flies when you're having fun,then POOH reached for a towel and...

 

[eelgrass]

Archer16 showed up with a Barney Franks blow up doll looking for a little privacy. Just then an elk bugled up on the ridge and everybody went scrambling back to camp to get their rifles and tags. Founders finger was on the nuke button so everybody thought it was time to get serious (yea, right! LOL) so a game plan was devised to surround the big bull. It was decided that all the........

 

[Dmanmastertracker]

Smelly Jelly that Archer16 had planned to rub down the Barney Franks doll with would be used to entice the bull closer. Not being sure whether the bull was broke-back in nature, the hunters were unsure that this tactic would work. Until, by the complete surprise of Eelgrass and Pbear they witnessed the bull puncturing the doll from behind, when BOBCAT showed up again and to all the hunters surprise......

 

[bobcatbess]

'Dman' STARTED GIVING US ELECTORIAL LESSONS,WE TOOK A COUNT & THERE WAS 49 REPUBLICANS & 1 DEMO,RLH LOOKED OVER AT Dman AND SAID WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE???
Dman SAID I CAME HERE TO TELL YOU WHAT GREAT PRESIDENTS CARTER & CLINTON WERE & WE'RE WORKING ON GETTING ANOTHER ONE LIKE THEM IN OFFICE SOON,RLH TURNED SEVERAL SHADES OF RED WHEN THE GOOD NATURED eelgrass STEPPED IN AND SAID,EASY BOYS ITS JUST A PRESIDENT,NO NEED TO GET SO WORKED UP OVER 'JUST' A PRESIDENT,Dman SPOUTS OFF DEMANDING A VOTE RIGHT THERE & THEN WHEN....................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[Dmanmastertracker]

(Aren't there enough Polical threads BC?)-LOL
-When Jimmy Carter himself shows up and starts flinging bags of peanuts at all the Republican hunters. The Republicans, armed whith seven rifles, six shotguns and four pistols each let loose a barrage that made D-day look like Clinton's wimpy-a$$ bombing of Serbia. Not to be outdone, GW himself shows up with two six-guns at his side and a 16 pound belt buckle that read "THE ONLY GW", when.............

 

[eelgrass]

he saw eelgrass' John Kerry blow up doll his eyes lit up and he said, "Man that's the best piece of........(sigh).....never mind. Hey have any of you seen a tall skinny guy with a beard and towel around his head? Or how about anything that might look like a weapon of mass destruction? That's when Bobcatbess pulled out his 50 caliber BMG and said, "I'll show you a weapon of mass destruction!" Just at that time Rimrock came screaming by in his 4-wheeler and....

 

[bobcatbess]

ME (bobcatbess) SHOWED LITTLE GEORGE W. SOME MASS DESTRUCTION!!!
I SHOT RIMJOBS WHEELER RIGHT IN THE GUTS,GW ASKS,DO YOU ALWAYS GUT SHOOT EM,YA I DO!!!
I ASKED LITTLE GEORGE WHY THE HELL HE WAS LOOKING FOR BIN-LADDEN HERE IN THE MEADOW??? HE SAID HE'D WASTED BILLIONS LOOKING EVERYWHERE ELSE & COULDN'T FIND THE BEARDED MAN OR WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION,HE SAID MY .50 WAS AS CLOSE AS ANYTHING THEY'D COME UP WITH SO FAR,ABOUT THAT TIME HE LOOKED DOWN AT THE TENT & SEEN MONICA & SLICK WILLY COMMING OUT OF THE TENT,HE SAID,AM I SEEING WHAT MY EYES...............

THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[Dmanmastertracker]

ARE SEEING? Slick Willy says cheers GW, have a Rimjob on the House, he, he, or is it the Senate?? Just then John Kerry himself runs through, grabs the blow-up doll of himself and streaks away in to the night. Feeling depressed that his sport was over with the doll, GW turns to Eelgrass (who still has his earring in) and winks, saying "you know we like to ride'em bareback in my neck of the woods". Eelgrass, extremely upset and mistaking the word bareback for "brokeback" runs off in to the night himself hollering, leaving Rimrock, Polarbear, GW and Bobcat playing with....

 

[Archer16]

thier juggies, suddenly realize it is peewee herman and george clooney they have been OILING with. So as they continued to OIL with them, Archery 16 took the real juggies and flew off with them in his helicopter when suddenly

 

[polarbear]

.... their Hillary Clinton and Ted Kennedy punching bags. Meanwhile, Eelgrass......

Eric

 

[rutnbuck]

LAST EDITED ON Jan-26-06 AT 11:00PM (MST)[p]Notices the Nomad buck wandering across the meadow. With Moosie following the Nomad buck while tweaking his nipples. Eelgrass also notices Utrednek with his rifle drawn on the Nomad Buck and his calculator in hand using Scientific Notation trying to score the 2-year-old Nomad Buck. Forgetting to add the mass and subtract the angle of the dangle he figures the Nomad buck is a shooter that is when

 

[RIMROCK338]

Bobjobbess dives in front of the rifle yelling no ,thats my buck.He picks himself up and says now how'd you like it if someone was to try to kill your Once in a life time buck ,rednek
sneared,I was gona kill it to score it-- "so bob on this"..Bobjobbess looked at him and said I got something you can score over there in the trees,follow me says bobjob,they get into the trees and bobjob points down at the ground and he says score that,rednek says with an amazed gasp"oh sh!t" BOBJOB REPLIES
YEAH thats what we call it in Altamont too..As rednek drops to his knees and begins his examination..Hmm a stong nine for the mass, eight on the length, six on the color and a solid ten on the odor.. Now rednek looks up at bobjobbess and says,I really know my sh!T..I may qualify to be called redneksh!tmaster...

 

[mtmuley]

...and as sh!tmaster, you get a bone-us for all the Carter peanuts. They then took care of the Nomad buck. Dragging the brute was very HARD work and it made bess hungry. While rednek wateredthe trees, bess fished through his backpack for a snack. Damn good candy bess thought as he munched. Just then rednek returned and exclaimed, ohmygosh, you just ate all my Cialis...

 

[Dmanmastertracker]

As Bess went as stiff as a board. Redneck then pondered how in the world he was going to get the nomad buck out of there when John Kerry himself ran by again and stopped to ask if this was where the "best hair" contest was to be held. Kerry then takes out a 12" hair pick and starts combing, when they hear over the ridge a thunderous BLLAAATTT!!!! Sonora has gotten in to the camp chili again and blown a 60 yard by 60yard path of devastation in the timber. Larry the Cable Guy then rides in on a 4 wheeler to investigate, when........

 

[bobcatbess]

HE FINDS OUT THERE ARE ALOT OF REDNECKS IN THE AREA!!!
NOT ONLY THAT,THERES QUITE A FEW DEMO'S IN THE MEADOW,NOT A GOOD MATCH OR MIX,ANTI-GUNNERS WONDERING AROUND WITH A FEW OF US PRO-GUNNERS,WOW THIS COULD GET WESTERN,KERRY RUNS DIRECTLY INTO BUSH,THEY DECIDE TO SETTLE DIFFERENCES RIGHT IN THE MEADOW,Moosie RUNS UP TO SHAKE BUSH'S HANDS BUT HE'S STILL HOLDING HIS NIPPLES & BUSH JUST KINDA GRINS & ASKS,IS THIS GUY FROM IDAHO???ABOUT THAT TIME THE MOUNTAIN SHOOK,MY .50 CALIBER ROCKS THE MOUNTAIN ONCE AGAIN,KERRY ASKS WHAT WAS TH.................................................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[Dmanmastertracker]

THAT?? You messed my hair with that blunderbuss!!! Just then Ted HRpuffnstuff Kennedy shows up in full camo demanding a Senate investigation in to moosie tweaking his nipples. moosie, extremely upset by this demands his rep, Kerry take action. Kerry responds by challenging Kennedy to a "best sideburns in camp" contest. Kennedy, not to be outdone challenges Kerry to a drinking contest and say's he'll provide the kegs -all four of them, when.....

 

[rutnbuck]

they quit marching around like a bunch of goosesteppers from Russia dressed in white cone hats. Moosie, Kerry, are kind of feeling dumbfounded not knowing what a goosestepper is. So they ask Dman and Dman replies

 

[Dmanmastertracker]

Let's ask GW, so they return to camp and consult GW on the matter. GW snorts, hell, Saddamn Insane is the goosesteppenist non-Texan I ever met. Being riled at the comment, GW yanks out both six shooters and plugs moosie right in the buttocks where Redneck had painted the bullseye?? -When...

 

[rutnbuck]

Every one turns to Landon and gives him a dirty look cause they all knew it was elk season and not Deer season. About then

 

[landon05]

LAST EDITED ON Jan-30-06 AT 10:16PM (MST)[p]LAST EDITED ON Jan-30-06 AT 10:15?PM (MST)
landon recoils in fear but then....
Landon lets him know in Alberta you can shoot Mule deer whitetail deer, and elk as well as others all on the same day.....so rutnbuck appolagizes to landon after hurting his feeling and just then

 

[landon05]

LAST EDITED ON Jan-30-06 AT 10:42PM (MST)[p]This story stopped making sense because my post got nuked

 

[eelgrass]

And before you knew it the week-end was near. Someone noticed that BCBOY, the new sheriff in town, was missing. It seems he took off on a shed hunting trip. So B_F_E posted another picture of Bobcatbess's "alleged" wife.(the one with the green tennis shoes!) As everyone was gathering to look, who shows up? None other than Trace Adkins who starts singing "Honky Tonk Ba Donk-a-Donk", and the whole MM crew joins in........."well shut my mouth and slap your grandma........"

 

[bobcatbess]

ABOUT THAT TIME eelgrass SEE'S A GLARE UP ON THE RIDGE,AT FIRST NOTICE HE JUST KNEW IT WAS A TORTISE,BUT ON FURTHER INSPECTION OF THE SHINE HE NOTICES THE BIGGEST BADGE IN THE VALLEY,WORN PROUDLY BY NO OTHER THAN BCBOY,BCBOY WAS COMMING IN TO CLEAN THE MEADOW UP,HE WASN'T REAL THRILLED WITH ALL THE WHEELERS THAT WERE LEFT TO ROT AFTER BEING GUT-SHOT,HE FIGURED CHEACH & CHONG MUST OF BEEN IN THE TENT WITH ALL THE SMOKE ROLLING OUT,NEEDLESS TO SAY THERE WAS VISIONS OF ALL KINDS OF PICTURES BUT NONE TO SATISFY HIM,THATS WHEN Moosie WAKES UP FROM AN OVERDOSE OF CROWN ROYAL,Moosie TELLS BCBOY HE WAS THE PERFECT PICTURE JUST WAITING TO BE TAKEN............................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[polarbear]

.... and that is just what he did! He took BC Boy back into the tent and made sweet, Brokeback Mountain love to him. (man, I almost made myself puke just typing that!) Still basking in the afterglow of love, the new couple layed around the campfire, spent like so many shell casings on the battlefield of love. Suddenly the rest of the M-M crew show up to camp and wonder what in the hell has been going on! Just the sight of them spooning made Eelgrass, Polarbear and Bessy hurl thier breakfast! All of a sudden, who comes out of the wood work to defend BC Boy and Moosie, but the one and only........

Eric

 

[rutnbuck]

Miss Green Tennis Shoe her self. Dressed in her camel camo. Hot to trot as she is! Wanting to find herself a Gentle, caring, sensitive, understanding cute guy?But then she realizes that all men of that caliber have boyfriends. So she heads back in to the trees and

 

[eelgrass]

("spent like so many shell casings on the battlefield of love" LMAO!!!!)


about that time BCBOY came to his senses. Bobcat told him to COWBOY UP! BCBOY said he thought he just did! Bobcat said not that kind of COWBOY UP! That's when........

 

[bobcatbess]

WE HAD A LITTLE DISCUSSION ABOUT COWBOYING UP!!!
polarbear HAS GOT ME LMFAO JUST ABOUT TO PUKE MYSELF!!!
YA SEE THERE ARE 2 DEFINITIONS FOR COWBOY-UP,ONE NORTH OF THE BORDER AND THE COWBOY-UP AS THE REST OF US KNOW IT,ABOUT THAT TIME Moosie STEPS UP & ASKS BCBOY TO COWBOY-UP,THATS WHEN ALL HELL......................................................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[polarbear]

...broke loose! Ya see, when Moosie asked BCBoy to "cowboy up", he was gesturing with a pointing motion in the direction of his butt! BCBoy noticing this, gets that starving calve/doe eyed look and starts to well up in tears of colon cowboy bliss! That is when .............

Eric

 

[rutnbuck]

Moosie painted up his nipples and rolled and curled his pubical hairs so he could

 

[polarbear]

....take his love to town as his alter ego, Ruby. Just then.....

Eric

 

[kilowatt]

the rest of the party showed up and decided to "hang them all" to rest................

 

[Roy]

"WHOOHOOO! PI?ATAS!" Shouted Bess as he ran out into the street, Louisville Slugger in hand, and then out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of....

 

[Dmanmastertracker]

PBear shooting his blunderbuss, trying to "tune" a parked wheeler whith a Pittsburgh bobblehead on it. Bess shouts; RIGHT ON BROTHER, HAWKS IN '07!!!! When......

 

[polarbear]

....Polarbear decided to join Bess in a relaxing round of pinata busting. Not having another bat readily available, P-Bear used the butt end of his blunderbuss instead. Being caught up in the moment and excitement of blugeoning hippie freak pinatas, P-Bear forgot to unload and "accidentally" fired a round into.....

Eric

 

[rutnbuck]

Moosies nipple tweaking hold-him not welcome in Orem, Ut Party!! Where at the party no age limit little huntress and hunter's are awarded 367 un-ethical tags to take kill harvest brain dead

 

[eelgrass]

deer and elk! That's when Rutnbuck and eelgrass heard somebody at the poker game yell out "I'm all in!" Without looking to see what was really going on (even though they both knew it had nothing to do with poker), Rut and eelgrass collected their grub stake and headed for parts unknown. Gold fever had struck them both hard...

"The next time you see us we will be rich men", eelgrass said as they disappeard.

http://www.monstermuleys.info/cgi-b...show_thread&om=2388&forum=DCForumID11&omm=0ed.

 

[kilowatt]

And they both don't fall face first into really fresh piles of ALFALFA COW PIES on their way from "rags to riches" adventure...............................

 

[rutnbuck]

As they decend from the meadow of discontent to the land of the Mother load. They come to the site of the burried riches. And everyone from MM was trying to figure out where they were headed!! Being careful not to cross the Wyoiming bordar. Kilowat replies are we there yet? And eelgrass says I don't know about that polarbear he keeps looking at me. Landon says wait for me I have to pee again. And rimrock says I am hungry! How much longer are we there yet says Kingfish. Rutnbuck pauses and tells the crew to let the horses feel there way across the river to the south.

 

[bobcatbess]

AS THEY CRESTED THE NEXT RIDGE,THEY SEE FOUR GUY'S GAZING INTO THE MEADOW BELOW,NO OTHER THAN c3,elkoholic,ElkhunterUT & MulePacker,A 250 CLASS BULL IS SPOTTED,NO OTHER BULLS & NO OTHER COWS,THEY ALL SIGH,MY GOD SAYS MulePacker,YOU KNOW WHERE THAT PUTS THE BULL TO COW RATIO,THATS RIGHT 1 TO 0,THIS MUST BE THE BEST DAMN PLACE EVER,I THINK THERE OUGHT TO BE 80,000 PERMITS ISSUED FOR THIS AREA,MAYBE WE COULD GET THE BULL TO COW RATIO BACK INTO PERSPECTIVE,WE COULD GIVE EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD OPPORTUNITY,SOMEBODY'S BOUND TO KILL THAT 250 BULL,ABOUT THAT TIME rut DECIDES TO HAVE A LITTLE CHAT WITH THEM,IT WASN'T PERTY,YOU SEE rut HAS ALREADY TAKEN A BULL IN AN LE UNIT THAT WOULD EASILY MAKE TWO OF THAT 250 BULL,MulePacker TELLS rut THAT 250 BULL IS WHAT HE LIKES TO SEE IN LE UNITS BUT rut QUICKLY TELLS HIM THATS A PISSCUTTER BULL & A DINK AT THAT & WITH 3-4 YEAR OLD OBJECTIVES THAT IS ALL YOU WILL SEE IS 'JUNK' BULLS,ABOUT THAT TIME........................................


THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[RACKMASTER]

LAST EDITED ON Feb-18-06 AT 09:02PM (MST)[p]RACKMASTER AND LIL'RED RIDING HOOD COULD BE SEEN LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO PARK THE CAMPER(BOBCATBESS KNOWING RACK WILL NEVER STEP OUT WHEN SHE AROUND AND IN SEASON...THE ONLY BOBCATBESS WONDERING WHEN THE RUT IS GOING TO BE OVER).
bobcatbess seeing the grizzley on the trailer starts to drool....and wonders if this is just another LE dream......so he pinches him self and...........


rm

 

[polarbear]

...also pinches a loaf... right on racks back bumper. Just as old bessie is finishin up...................

Eric

 

[Dmanmastertracker]

Dman steps out of the woods... Eelgrass jumps up and shouts "I thought you were banned Dman, banned in the USA???!!! Dman, too exasperated by the "loaf" pinching to say anything just mutters to himself unintelligebly... When Rackmaster stands up and....

 

[rutnbuck]

checking the absolute temperature of the .50 bmg Temperature measured on the Kelvin scale, whose base is absolute zero, i.e. -273?C; 0?C is expressed as 273K. That is when

 

[bobcatbess]

YA SEE,JACKMASTER HAD DRAWED THE PREMIUM TAG HE HAD DROOLED OVER FOR YEARS,HE SPENT 10 YEARS PREPARING FOR THIS HUNT,HE BOUGHT THE DODGE V-10,THE GRIZZLY(WORTHLESS POS UNLESS RED LETS HIM OUT OF THE CAMPER!!!)THE NICE CAMPER,TRAILER TO PULL THE GRIZZLY & ALL THE GOODIES TO GO WITH IT,HE GETS THE CAMPER PARKED BUT 'LITTLE RED' LETS HIM KNOW 'SHE'S IN',FOR TEN DAYS STRAIGHT THAT CAMPER WAS A ROCKIN,EVERYTIME HE THOUGHT ABOUT SNEAKING OUT THE THOUGHT OF bobcat BEING AROUND HE FIGURED HE'D BETTER STAY AND TAKE CARE OF 'LITTLE RED',BY ABOUT THE TENTH DAY JACKMASTER WAS ABOUT AS GOOD AS A BUCK IN DECEMBER,TEN DAYS OF HUNTING & HE DIDN'T EVEN GET THE GRIZZLY OFF THE TRAILER,THE LAST DAY BEFORE HE HAD TO HEAD BACK TO KALI THE CAMPER WAS SHAKIN AGAIN WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN A SONIC BOOM SHAKES THE EARTH,JACKMASTER CAME OUT OF THE CAMPER LIKE A BULLET TO CHECK HIS..........................................................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[eelgrass]

Quad. All he saw was a big crater in the ground where his quad had been! It seems bobcat had been diverted from his terrorist mission and did a "Fly Over" on Jacks Grizz! That's when bobcat woke up drenched in sweat! It seems he had the worst nightmare of his life. He dreamed that there had been a 1000% increase in LE elk tags and anyone with 2 points was guaranteed an LE tag. He would be lucky to even SEE a 250 bull. It seems the true objective of the DWR was indeed to raise more money after all. He was still shaking with anger thinking of all the years he and ktc had wasted.......

 

[rutnbuck]

Chasing the Altamont calendar girls together trying to weed out the red one for Jack. But that is when KTC made a ewe turn and flutter her eyes. Only to have Bobcat stalk and pounce on the one with a blue ribbon around her neck only to have it get away. The dinner bell rings and it is none other then Chef preparing dinner. Bobcat and KTC climb on in the mess tent!! They sit down to enjoy their feast fit for a kingfish. All of a sudden KTC looks up on the wall and notice's a Blue Ribbon hanging on the wall. He lets out scream OH NO!!! Bobcat is in a DAZE as he gazes at the ribbon hanging on the wall. Chef looks up and asks? What's a matter fellers did I screw up the cooking. KTC says hell no you cooked up the screwing!! Chef is making tracks and stretching leather across the Meadow with Bobcat and KTC

 

[eelgrass]

in hot pursuit. Bobcat quickly calls it off deciding to save his energy for caelkhnter's elk hunt. Realizing it may be caelkhnter's last chance at a 370 bull, Bobcat calls him over and tells him to grab his rifle and follow him. "Igot a secret honeyhole that I'm going to take you to." And they slip away unnoticed. As they top a ridge and break over into the secret honeyhole they stop short! What's this???? A fence???? As they get closer they see a sign:

WARNING! NO HUNTING!NO TRESPASSING! THIS LAND HAS BEEN SOLD TO PAY FOR THE WAR,I MEAN SCHOOLS. HALIBURTON NOW OWNS THIS LAND. G.W.

 

[bobcatbess]

JUDAS FRICKEN PRIEST I EXCLAIM!!!
I'VE NEVER TRESPASSED IN MY LIFE,BUT "THERES A FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING",NOW ALL YOU BUSH LOVIN IDIOTS,HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT ####,YOU GOING TO BRAG ON HIM NOW???
SCREWED BY OUR OWN PRESIDENT,HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT ####???
ANOTHER HONEYHOLE SHOT IN THE ASS!!!
I GATHERED ALL THE MM MEMBERS UP & FINALLY TALKED SOME SENSE INTO THEM,I HAD TO LET THEM SEE IT WITH THEIR OWN EYES BEFORE THEY WOULD BELIEVE IT,rut DONE SOME QUICK FIGURING & COME UP WITH 800,000 ACRES THAT WERE FENCED OFF & POSTED "NO HUNTING SUCKERS" SIGNED 'LITTLE GEORGE' PS:WE DON'T WANT TO TAKE ANY CHANCES ON SOMEBODY GETTING SHOT!!!
ONCE AGAIN IT WAS TIME TO VOTE,I MOTIONED THAT WE IMPEACH HIS SORRY ARSE,ALL IN FAVOR???.............................

THE ONLY bobcat!!!

 

[RACKMASTER]

(right int the middle of the ya's vs the nay's)
A very powerful voice was heard muttering the lords word..."And so be it the work of thy heavenly father......."
........could it be?........WHY HELL YES....it was MM"s
two newest members JESSIE JACKSON and AL SHARPTEN!!!!!!
(Not to be out done just nither could not come up user names)
Fear not men for the lord.....................STOPPING THEM IN THEIR TRACKS.................


RM

 

[rutnbuck]

They look around trying to figure out where the noise is comming from. They spy Bobcat and eelgrass lip curling and pounding away at a
Gazebo In hopes of drawing Predator in for a sniff. eel is spraying tinks 69 around the edge!! They could hear off in the distance Predator screaming "Stupid dumb computer thingie" As she

 

[marksmen]

aimed her .270 at rutnbuck's tiny head. Rutnbuck looked up just in time. He saw her with the gun and he dove out of the line of fire just as she shot. The bullet went right by his head. At that very moment Moosie, and some of his hoodlems from hunttalk.com showed up with numchucks. Bobcatbess BCboy, and eelgrass all stand up from the gazebo and pull out ninja swords. At the very moment Founder jumps in the middle and all hell breaks loose. Founder dropped Moosie with a roundhouse kick to the face but could not stop a stiff right fist from Moosie's right hand man. Eelgrass then said "the hell with this freaking ninja sword," and pulls out a hand gernade. He pulls the plug and yells "Take that you dirty basterds."

KABOOOM!


When the smoke settles BCboy is the only one left standing he starts to cry and says "F you guys i am joining PETA!"

 

[RIMROCK338]

Then RimRock walks up to the Gazebo and sees Marksmen laying on the ground with a bottle half hanging out the side of his mouth. Afraid that the guy just drank bobcat wizz,
RimRock picks up the bottle and reads the lable "Bucks 69"
Very hallucinogenic if swallowed, may even cause blindness, or give you the trots... Marksmen staggers to his knees and shakes his head and mumbles, "Man I had a dream everyone was dead! Even the great and powerful moosie"..about that time bobjob comes running over and grabs the bottle and says...

 

[eelgrass]

and reads "may even cause blindness"....I need some of this for next time me and B_F_E go on a date with the Altamont Girls! So Marksmen gives him what's left. But then Predator suspects there may be a secret ingrediant which may not be legal so she confiscates the bottle of Buck69 for further testing.

About then Kirt Darner passes through the meadow with the mounted head of a tremendous buck that he killed back in the 50's. He is headed up into the high country to get some photos. Some of the guys run over hoping to get his autograph and.....

 

[RACKMASTER]

just then Rackmaster had a dream that he walk in on BOBCATBESS........ Looking up the meaning of "P.O.V" after he watched Broke Back Mountian....and then BOBCATBESS had only to gaze off glassie eyed and drooling and muttered the word VAGAS...VAGAS......ontiment...ontiment...................!
RACKMASTER woke to a limp and totally hot redhead who was soundly and totally asleep!.......
rm

 

[rutnbuck]

So he grabed his video cam. He decided he was going to take some hot videos of the red head to share with his mm buddies. After the video session. He ran up town and bought 60 dozen dvd+r disks to record on with his new dvd recorder. He made copies for everyone and sent them out via express 1 day same as air price USPS> But dumb as he was he didn't know. The dvd+r disk will not play on most dvd players. He then realized most units play dvd viedo, dvd-r/w , dvd=r/rw, audio cd, cd-r/rw,(audio cd format) and Audio cd with mp3 files. Not once did he consider those on MM not having a player that played dvd+r. He then realized depending on the type of medium or the writing method that is different then the medium itself and has to be re-serched. That some disk can not be played back. He concluded
Some dvd-r/rw, dvd+r/w or cd-r/rw disks made on personal computers, or on dvd recorders may not be played back properly due to factors such as scratches, dirt or special properties not known to man. Or even smart women for that mater.
Disks made on personal computers may not be played back due to different environments or the settings of the applications you use. He recommends always use the standardized, properly formatted discs. And to always advise mm members not to use his dvd. Futhermore he figures that the player must conform to the standard ntsc color system. You can not record in color systems such as redhead or pal or scum brokeback.
Some disks include region codes as such region 1 or all. There for don't try and play a different region. IT was then he relized the following discs cannot be played back on dvd/vcr combination units. dvd with region codes other then one or all. dvd-rom for personal compurters. dvd-ram these malfunction. cd-rom for personal computers. vsd. cdv only playback the audio part. cd-g only plays back the sound and moans. cd-i just malfunction. Sacd. photo cd never play back or malfunction. video cd never play back bareback. And so the red head left and left rack to sleep in his teePee beating his tomtom. When

 

[bobcatbess]

bobcatbess RECEIVED HIS FREE VERSION!!!

bobcat THOUGHT HIS NEW DVD PLAYER WOULD PLAY THESE DVD-R DISCS,BUT NO,HELL NO,THIS UNIT IS WAY OUTDATED,IT'S A FEW MONTHS OLD & IS SUPPOSED TO PLAY DVD'S & VCR MOVIES BUT BEING 2-3 MONTHS OLD ITS OUTDATED & I MIGHT AS WELL TRASH CAN IT IF I CAN'T WATCH THE RED-HEAD IN ACTION!!!

THE ONLY bobcat THINKING THE NEWER THE ELECTRONIC TRASH I KEEP BUYING THE LESS TIME/USE I GET OUT OF IT!!!

 

[marksmen]

LAST EDITED ON Mar-17-06 AT 06:53PM (MST)[p]At about high noon the day, marksmen came back to his senses. He found,to his suprise, that he was surrounded by six black belt ninjas, and one incredibly pissed off Moosie. Marksmen knew he was in a bad spot so immediately he pulls out a digital camera and takes a picture of Moosie. This of course makes Moosie start to pose for more pictures. Marksmen knew this was his chance. He faked a round house kick to the face, pulled out a .357 mag. and shot Moosie in the kidney.
The six ninjas just stared at marksmen, they could tell he was ready to fight. All the sudden one of them takes off his mask and cape, it turns out that this masked ninja was..........